“Behold, I and the children whom the LORD has given me are for signs and wonders in Israel from the LORD of hosts, who dwells on Mount Zion” (Is 8:18)
This is a message for parents. It is from my heart as a mother… I have observed that these days it is ‘fashionable’ for young people to be lazy, rude, stubborn, unteachable and rebellious. It seems to me that many parents have ‘gone on strike’. They have abandoned their blessed work as parents. There are many people who behave badly. The truth is that being a parent is not an easy work. To be a mother or a father is a gift from God. It is a great privilege and much labor of love is involved. I am a mother, grandmother, medical doctor and pastor. From my experience and the experience of others, I want to share something with you as I feel a burden of prayer for families.
There is a medical psychological condition in children called Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). It is defined as a pattern of angry stubbornness and quarrelsome mood in a child, with a strong tendency to actively disobey his parents, teachers or other adults. The child with this condition is oversensitive and has low self-esteem. He blames others for his mistakes. He is rude when he is angry. He easily throws temper tantrums. He talks back and argues with his parents. He is vindictive. He desires and plans trouble to frustrate his parents. It is not unusual for children to defy authority from time to time. But when this behavior lasts longer than six months and it is excessive, that child has a problem. The whole family and his school suffer because of him. Dear parents do not ignore the problem for without help, it will only become worse!
According to medical research, this mental condition starts when the child is about 8 years old. About 5% of all children suffer with ODD. Most of the time there is no blood test, X-ray or scan that can detect this problem. There is no medication to be given to cure this condition. The diagnosis is done by observing the child, the way he behaves with his parents or other adults. The Bible says: “Train the child in the way he should go…” (PV 22:6). It is the work of the parents to train the child by talking to him, by rewarding good behavior and by punishing the wrong doing. Talk to him and listen to him. It is not easy for anyone. It is a matter of control. Who is in charge: the parents or the child? It takes patience and long-suffering love to change the heart of a child. The earlier the parents detect that the child has a problem, the better. As believers in Christ, we have the great advantage of prayer and the wisdom of the Word of God. No matter how stubborn your child is, love him or her to the end. Until your last breath pray for your child. If your child is stubborn in bad things, you be stubborn in good things.
This is my testimony: I married very young, before I became saved. Therefore, I made many mistakes trying to be a good wife and mother. Looking back, I should have done many things differently. But God overrules and corrects our mistakes. Thank God for His grace! Our adult children and our grandchildren make us proud. But the road was not easy. There were many agonizing prayers and tears along the way…
Today I pray for the parents of difficult children. I feel for you… No matter how rich and successful you become, if your children misbehave, it is very painful. Go to Jesus! In Christ alone there is hope for the hopeless. Your stubborn children shall change! They shall be signs and wonders that your God is the Living God! The devil is a liar! Your children are covenant children. They will become saved and they shall serve the Living God. Believe in miracles and all is well! “I plead the Blood of Jesus over your foolish, stubborn and wayward child! I command every evil spirit of ODD to leave that child and go away in the name of Jesus! Every occult covenant that was done against your lives, your children’ lives and their destiny, I break it in the name of Jesus! Holy Spirit, please take control! Encourage the parents who are tired! Strengthen the weak! Heal the sick! Deliver the oppressed! For Your glory alone, In Jesus name, amen!”