WHAT DOES THE HUSBAND WANT FROM HIS WIFE? (1)

HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT
Our women’ fellowship was very good. There was a heavy rain outside. I was personally encouraged that many of the sisters came to the church in spite of the rain. We praised God and we shared testimonies. The sermon was about the price to pay for a successful and happy marriage.
 
From the Bible we see that God invented marriage and God hates divorce. Marriage is God’s idea. As a pastor I counsel many women (and men) who struggle in their marriages. Many wives are ignorant of their husbands’ spiritual and physical needs. The devil takes opportunity of their ignorance and attacks their homes. That is why many marriages are like stagnant waters, dangerous, boring and unhappy. From what the Bible says and from my experience as a wife I bring to you some time tested wisdom. Dear sisters, please try to answer these questions: “What does my husband want from me? What shall I give him so that our marriage will be strong, spiritual and happy?” These are the first five qualities most of the husbands expect from their wives (in this particular order): Respect, Sexual satisfaction, Faithfulness, Friendship and Understanding.
 
1. RESPECT
Many women think that what men desire most of all is sex. This is a lie! The first thing men (believers and unbelievers) desire from their wives is RESPECT! In other words: dear wife, your husband wants you to respect him! Then he will be happy! Then the marriage will be better. Your home will be happier! But if you disrespect him, he will be sad or angry and you too will be unhappy. To respect it means to recognize and appreciate the value of a person. Wife, you should admire your husband. He married you! Therefore you owe him that respect! See him as a good, special, handsome and important man. Thru your words, body language, attitude and deeds, treat him like he is your ‘senior’ best friend. Do not speak badly of him to others. Do not treat him like a child. Your husband is not your baby! Encourages him to dress well! Do not be jealous! If he does a mistake and he hurts you, never correct him in public. Wait for the right time, when both of you are alone, to express your pain. Do not manipulate him with silent tears of moodiness. Before making any decision, ask him for his opinion. Cooperate with what he says. Discuss things! Keep the unity of the Spirit in the marriage in the bond of peace. To learn how to respect your husband is a difficult work but the harvest is a blessed and peaceful home. Study the Bible and pray daily! You will be wiser and stronger.
 
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph 5:31-33)
In this scripture you see that marriage is a spiritual mystery. It is more than a man sleeping in the same bed with his wife. A mystery is something deep, something that cannot be totally explained. If you are filled with the Holy Spirit you will appreciate the mystery of marriage and the spiritual side of your husband. To respect your husband it means that you see him thru the eyes of Christ. To ‘see your husband finish’ is disrespect. God commands your husband to ‘leave his father and mother’ and to join himself to you, his wife. This joining is spiritual and physical. Your husband may struggle with God’s command. He may be slow to obey it. He may still be connected to his parents in a way that the marriage suffers. It is easy to disrespect him for that. Many wives complain that their husbands listen to their mothers more than they listen to them. Of course this is wrong, but you cannot solve this sensitive matter by complaining or by quarreling. Pray for him, that he is able to obey God’s difficult command. As a wife, learn to be patient. It’s hard for him to disconnect and reconnect. Love and respect him even when he is struggling to be a good husband. Pity and love him. God will help you both.
 
God bless you with the blessings of Christ and with the gift of a wonderful marriage! In Jesus name! Amen!

THE FLAME OF LOVE IN MARRIAGE

“Many waters cannot quench the flame of love, neither can the floods drown it. If a man tried to buy it with everything he owned, he couldn’t do it” (SS 8:7)

From the Bible we see that God invented marriage and God hates divorce. Marriage is God’s idea. As a pastor I counsel many women (and men) who struggle in their marriages. Many wives are ignorant of their husbands’ spiritual and physical needs. The devil takes opportunity of their ignorance and attacks their homes. That is why many marriages are like stagnant waters, boring and unhappy. From what the Bible says and from my experience as a wife I bring to you some time tested wisdom. Dear sisters, please try to answer these questions: “What does my husband want from me? What shall I give him so that our marriage will be strong, spiritual and happy?” These are the first five qualities most of the husbands expect from their wives (in this particular order): Respect, Sexual satisfaction, Faithfulness, Friendship and Understanding. Pray about each of them!

MY TESTIMONY AS A WIFE
My husband and I are happily married for 43 years. We got married as unbelievers. Then we became saved. Now we are pastors in full time ministry. We are parents to three adult children and have six grandchildren. Inspired from the Bible and learning from my experience, by the grace of God, I am now able to teach other women. I see marriage as a gift from God. I do not ‘merit’ to be called ‘a wife’. It is not because I am beautiful or educated. Marriage is ‘a grace gift’. Because I fear God, I fear to damage my marriage. I cannot be a happy wife without the help of the Holy Spirit. I read the Bible daily. I grow in wisdom and knowledge. Therefore my marriage becomes better. I pray daily for my husband, for our children, grandchildren, for our health and ministries. I pray to see Christ in my husband (in his words and deeds). I love peace in my home. I hate quarrels and divisions. I respect my husband not only thru my words and deeds, but even in my heart. I pray to be able to see him as a holy man of God. My prayer has been answered. I like to cook for him and serve his food. I like it when he is hungry and he sits at the table patiently waiting for me to bring the food. I like it when we eat together. I like it when he compliments me for the food I cooked. I like it when he encourages me to do better. I understand him and he understands me. We love each other and we take care of each other.

I like to wake up in the morning knowing that he is my husband. I do not dream about any other man. My imagination is limited only to him. Even after all these years, I appreciate his love for me. I appreciate the fact that out of millions of women he chose me to be his wife. He has his own favorite chair at the table. If a visitor comes and by mistake he sits there, I will not allow it. If we have visitors at the table, I do not use his (particular) plate for other people. These may not be ‘big things’ but to me, these are symbols of respect.

Long ago I knew that my husband will be a man of God and I will be a pastor’s wife. I started studying the Bible with great passion. The knowledge of the Word of God is for my own soul and to help my husband. I love it when we discuss the doctrines and new revelations from the Bible. I love it when I have something good to add to the discussion. I also pray for sexual compatibility. Sex is a great blessing from God that brings happiness to any marriage. It satisfies the bodies and the souls. It brings peace in the bedroom and in the home. We are colleagues in the ministry, we are friends and we are lovers. We rejoice with one another. We ‘gist’ and laugh a lot. Time has not reduced this joy. In fact, it has made it better. The water is now wine. The ordinary taste of life has become sweet. We drink from this cup of intoxicating love and have no apologies for it. We feel old and young in the same time. We feel weak sometimes and strong most of the times. The passion to love God and one another is the holy fire that keeps burning in our home, making it safe and secure. No man or devil can quench it.

May God bless you with the blessings of Christ and with the gift of a wonderful ever sweeter marriage! In Jesus name!

TEARS OR NOT, JUST CALL ME!

“Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me” (Ps 50:15)
A young sister who attends our church sent me this note. She is about 35 years old. She lives with her mum. She is a successful business woman. She is praying to get married. She faithfully attends the church activities. But last Saturday she said that she could not come to church because she had no ‘transport money’. Initially she wept out of frustration. But then she wisely chose to use the pain to worship God. The Holy Spirit filled her afresh. This is a good example how to use your problems to go closer to God. If for whatever reason you can’t come to church, do not give us. It is easy to give us. Pray and worship God wherever you are. The Holy Spirit is omnipresent and He will meet you at the point of your pain and need. To God be all the glory for each disciple of Jesus who pays the price for spiritual maturity! Amen!

“Good evening MaLia and happy Easter. I have a testimony to share with you. It is wonderful to me. Yesterday I attended a wedding and by evening I was unable to attend the prophetic class because of financial constraint. As at 4.30 – 5 pm I started to feel very depressed. So I went into my mum’s bedroom, shut the door and at first I started to cry pitying myself. Then a voice told me to talk to God instead of crying since crying will not give me any solution. So I said to myself that since I couldn’t attend the prophetic class I will just pray and worship on my own and do my own ‘prophetic class’. I started with asking God so many questions amid tears. Why this why that, why He never talks directly to me or show me things like He used to. Why there is so much doubt in my heart… why is He not fulfilling His promises yet…. and so on. For the first time I talked like I was really talking to my friend and father and someone really close and present with me. I asked Him to speak to me directly even if it is through dreams, to help me get rid of the depression and bitterness in me, to help me trust Him more….

Then I started to worship and praise. MaLia!!! The worship took me to another level where I forgot about myself and issues. I really can’t explain all what I prayed about… but I’ve never worshipped that deep or for that long before. I shouted the name of Jesus again and again. I got up at past 8 pm, took my bath and dinner and later went to bed. I then had a dream that I was walking on a road, looking for somewhere to sit so I found this uncompleted shop with no windows or doors and not floored, just sand. I sat on the ground with my knees to my chin like I was patiently waiting for someone to come. Someone came, a woman who looked like you. I know that He is God who came in that form. He asked me what my problem and why I was complaining? Immediately I started to complain again. Stopping me half way He said “why are you complaining? I can hear you! You don’t have the right to doubt. You should never doubt” those were His exact words and He repeated it twice. Although those weren’t the words I was expecting to hear but after hearing them it felt enough, like the answer I needed. I felt peace. Like my restless hunger had been quenched. MaLia!!! God heard me and answered me! I am so happy! I give Him all the glory…”

My answer to her:
“Dear …Thank God for everything! I see that you have allowed an evil spirit of religion, fear, doubt and bitterness to influence you. Now that the Holy Spirit has revealed the truth to you, continue to do warfare until it is completely out of your mind. Do a Bible study on faith which is the opposite of doubt. A grace door has been open to you. Pass thru it. Complete the good work you have started. I wait for you with more testimonies!”

(If you want to counsel her, please do so. She will read your words. Thank you! God bless you dear intercessors)

OPEN DOORS

“I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close” (Rev 3:8)
We checked in a hotel. It was an average hotel. The lady at the reception gave us the room’s key. On top of the key it was written: ‘Open doors you never knew existed’. God speaks in so many ways… For a moment I stood there, in the hotel’s corridor, and my heart missed a beat. I felt God’s love come close. Did I forget that God can open any door? It is so easy to forget good things…and so hard to forget negative things, to forgive offences of the past…But that is another story…
Back to open doors…God knows no limitations, no boundaries and no hindrances…Nobody can say ‘no’ when God says ‘yes’. Did I limit God? Did I write a list with possible miracles, breakthroughs and open doors? Do I desire to control God, to lead God? Why such a foolishness? Sin has planted folly in our hearts and we are ignorant of it. But then, the Holy Spirit comes and breaks the bands asunder, breaks cages and padlocks, and the bird is ready to fly, once more…

The door that Jesus opens is a door of safety, victory, stability and intimacy as reward. These are His holy promises given freely, by His grace alone. The Holy Spirit says:

“My child,
I will force your enemies to bow at your feet…
I will force your enemies to acknowledge that it is you I love…
I will protect you from the painful trials coming to others…
I will seal you with My name that no one can erase…
The whole world shall see that you are My child and My servant and they shall fear you!
This is My promise to you! Just believe it!”

Today I pray for the grace to be able to surrender to God, again, totally, un-conditionally, from my heart…I pray for the grace to see invisible things, to hear the songs of angels and to be filled with the Spirit that opens doors no one can shut! In Jesus name, Amen!

In Christ I declare:
I am God’s child and servant!
I rule in the midst of my enemies!
My victory is sure!
In Jesus name
Amen!

open door

WORTHY IS THE LAMB

HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT

The prayer meeting was very good. We praised God with songs and dancing. We shouted the name of Jesus with all our hearts. Thank God for the Holy Spirit who always directs our thoughts towards the Lord Jesus Christ. Tomorrow we shall celebrate the resurrection of our Lord. We prayed for the Holy Spirit to help us identify with the death and the resurrection of our Lord. Thru a spirit of religion, the devil tried to deceive us. He wants us to come to church and feel ‘spiritually detached and cold’ when the service is going on. But we resisted the devil and he fled from us. For as long as these wonderful events, the cross and the resurrection, remain buried in history, we cannot gain any wisdom or spiritual impartation today. The Holy Spirit helped us to pray to ‘see and touch Jesus’. We worshiped the Lamb of God who was slayed for our sins and rose up for our glorious justification. When the Lord rose from the dead He proved that His victory is total. We prayed and came closer to God. By His death and resurrection the Lord defeated death, man’s greatest enemy. The grave could not hold Him captive! Death was disgraced for it could not keep its prisoner. The resurrection of our Lord is the proof that as believers we can daily live a victorious life. Sin does not have to be our master. God’s dreams given to us but long buried in our hearts can still come to life and be fulfilled. The resurrection of our Lord is the planting of unending hope and glory. By faith, let the sick say: I am healed! Let the weak say: I am strong! Let the poor say: I am rich! Because of what the Lord has done! We rejoiced that our names are written in the Lamb’s Book of life! We rejoiced that our future is better than our past! We rejoiced because Jesus lives and we live in Him! I know that tomorrow’ service will be powerful because we have tested a little from the glory revealed! Jesus is Lord!

 

‘Then I looked, and I heard the voices of many angels and living creatures and elders encircling the throne, and their number was myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands. In a loud voice they said: “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and riches and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and blessing!” And I heard every creature in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying: “To Him who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, be praise and honor and glory and power forever and ever.” (Rev 5:11-13)

TRUST AND OBEY

 

“If they listen and obey God, then they will be blessed with prosperity throughout their lives” (Job 36:11)

If you are a true child of God, then you have to go to the school of the Spirit and learn obedience. God commands and you obey! It is as simple as that! It can never be the other way round. For example, the Holy Spirit will send you on ‘errands’. He will say ‘go there… do this or that… speak My word to that man…give that boy 500 Naira…’ These commands may sound childish. Often they ‘make no sense’. Faith itself ‘makes no sense’ most of the time. Why will the weak declare: ‘I am strong?’ Why will the poor say: ‘I am rich?’ It sounds foolish, but the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom! That is the message of the Cross! No matter how you feel, you need to believe God’s Word and declare it in your circumstances! It is easier to doubt for doubt ‘makes sense’! It is easy to give up the battle of faith and accept defeat! That is normal. But we are called to live supernaturally and to walk upon the water. Believer, stand up for Jesus!

 

Know this: there is no particular immediate reward for obeying God’s commands. But you still have to obey! If you put conditions to God saying: ‘Lord, explain to me why You send me there. If not, I will not go…’ or if you query God saying: “Lord, tell me why you send me there?’ I need an explanation before I move…’ …then you have a rebellious spirit. You have grieved the Holy Spirit! This is sin! You need to repent. You need to obey God ‘if you like it or not’. Your feelings should not interfere with your obedience to God. Remember that He is God and you are dust! You are a bondservant to God. The Lord Jesus died on the Cross for you and He bought you with His Blood. Obedience is a ‘faith sign’ saying that you are grateful to God for your salvation. The Lord Jesus said that obedience is love, is worship! Just like Him, if you truly want to please God, you shall learn obedience mostly ‘thru the things you suffer’. Even if it is hard, you need to obey God just because He is God. After some time obedience becomes you very nature. You will be filled with the Holy Spirit and you will joyfully obey the Father like Jesus did. Don’t be discouraged! Sooner or later the reward for obedience shall come. Supernatural blessings shall ‘be added’ and even ‘overtake’ you. For God owes no man. This Good Friday morning, I pray for you, that faith and obedience become your life style! From now until forever! “Trust and obey, for there is no other way, to be happy with Jesus, than to trust and obey”

HELP IN TIME OF NEED

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need” (Heb 4:16)
We are invited, better said ‘commanded’, to come boldly to the throne of grace. We are to run there, ignoring all distracting and doubting contrary voices. Please note that we do not ‘merit’ such favor. The mercy and grace found at the throne of Christ are not rewards for our labor or love. These are totally supernatural gifts paid for by the Lamb of God who was slain. Christ shed His Blood on the Cross for grace to be freely given to us who believe.
 
In Greek, the word ‘help’ means ‘frapping a vessel’. I did not know the meaning of that word. I looked in the dictionary and I discovered that it is a naval word, a marine engineering term. Frapping means tying a rope or a heavy chain under the belly of the ship; it means to use strong cables several times round the ship from stem to stern. These chains pass under the ship to secure it, to strengthen it, to keep the planking from opening under the strain. In the olden days the ships were made of wood. During storms, the sea men did two things: they threw away some of the cargo to lighten the ship. They also frapped the vessel like a bandage on a wounded leg. They passed these heavy chains under the belly of the ship, to tie it, so that the ship will not scatter under the stress of the waves and the winds.
 
This is what the sea men did when Apostle Paul was in the ship going to Rome as they encountered a great storm. By throwing away some stuff and frapping the ship, they survived the storm. “When they had taken it on board, they used frapping cables to undergird the ship… And because we were exceedingly tempest-tossed, the next day they lightened the ship” (Ac 27:17, 18)
 
What is the lesson for us? During the storms of life (sickness, marital or financial troubles) we should not waste time with trying to ‘stabilize’ our lives. We need a Savior, a Helper, a Healer and a Comforter. His name is Jesus Christ. There is no one who can give grace in place of sorrow. There is no one who can give us mercy and kindness in place of troubles. There is no other name given to men so that they can be forgiven from sins and given peace with God.
 
What shall you do? Run to Jesus! Run to the Cross! Read the Bible! Meditate upon the words of Jesus! See how Jesus died to set you free! He will help you by ‘frapping your vessel’. He will use His everlasting arms, like cords of unfailing love, to embrace you that you may not scatter under stress. With all the troubles around, are you not surprised that you have not gone mad? Are you not surprised that you are not depressed? This is the work of the Holy Spirit ‘frapping’ your mind and heart! Life is hard but God’s grace is greater than any sin or sickness! The same arms that were separated when nailed on the cross, will come together to surround you, to wrap you and bandage your soul. This is the Gospel! This is the story of eternal love! This is the healing sent from heaven. This is the kiss that resurrects the dead. I know that the media (Facebook) is full of trash and many people run away from it. But just in case you read these words, may these find favor and acceptance in your soul. If you find gold in the dirt, it still remains the same. These are not my words, but the words of God, able to save, heal and deliver. God loves you! Believe God’s love for you! It is true and strong! Say: “It is well with my soul!” Be healed! Be free! In Jesus name, amen!
 
(in the picture see the strong ropes, ready, just in case frapping of the boat is needed in an emergency)
ropes