My letter to a Brother in Christ, a Pastor, whose wife committed suicide, leaving him with a teenage daughter:
(PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM!)

Dear Pastor…
What is God doing in your heart?
As I have been praying for you I remembered that Ezekiel passed thru a similar pain as yours (Ez 24). God warned him that He will take away ‘the desire of his heart’ and He did. He also warned him not to weep loudly in the presence of the people. God said that his sudden blow will be a sign of judgment, not to him but to the rebellious nation. It happened exactly the way God said it. Ezekiel had just few hours of intercession, to pray to God to have mercy on him and that his wife should be spared. But God did not listen to his plea for mercy and the wife died.
Ezekiel was a true man of God. He suffered so much pain just so that God can prove His point. Does God have the right to use us for His ‘points’? Does the Potter have the right to break a vessel He has made? Does God have any rights to intervene and disturb our lives?
Looking at this with the natural eyes, this tragedy makes no sense. Even as I pray for you, there is no sense, why you and your daughter have to pass thru this valley of the shadow of death. If you look for a reason, for something to make sense, for an explanation…you shall find none.
The more I pray for you, the more I get trapped in the tragedy cage. I look around you and I see nothing and nobody to help. You already know the scriptures, even more than myself, so what can I say to help you?

But today I saw a little light in the darkness around your story. The light is not there in the USA. The light is up, it shines on you from heaven. It is God’s light and the Holy Spirit! It is God’s Grace on you as His child! God speaks to you even now…God does not apologies, for He never makes mistakes. God’s ways are very different than our ways. We have to abandon our way of thinking, of seeing things…and cross over on God’s ways, which are always perfect. For as long as you desire to be an ordinary man, a regular father, a normal pastor…you will despair, for you can never be that. You cannot compete with the world.
In joy and sorrows, you are a peculiar Man of God, holy and different than the crowd. As a bachelor, as a married man, as a grieving widower, as a remarried man…in all things, you can never be a regular guy. Stop wishing that and the pain will lose its poison! That is the truth. You are a born again Christian, a child of Jehovah and a servant of Christ! This is your destiny. This is your ministry. This is your only hope! Hold unto this peculiar blessing and mystery of love!
Love in Christ alone
Lia

HIS RESPONSE:
Thank you dear sister Lia.
Yes, just this morning I was pondering on the fact that friends here locally, friends of my wife’s and mine, who I have known and ministered to for 20 years have all abandoned me…
I do have a mark upon me, like Jacob who walked with a limp after wrestling with the angel; I too limp along as I cling and cleave to my God. But God by His grace has recently brought me closer to Him with a touch of His Presence and Power. Even my sermons have a new fire attending them. Praise God!
But I see sadness in my little girl’s eyes, the other night she was doing her homework and it was on weddings and she cried out, “I need my mom!” But Mom is not here. I cannot be her mother. It is my prayer that God will use you to bring her to Christ.
I received your book, ” The Dove in the Wind” and read it while sitting on a park bench and was blessed by it. Thank you for your kindness in sending it to me….thank you also for taking the time to go to The Lord on our behalf in prayer and sharing what He tells you.
God seems to be smiling on my ministry, a man from Kansas emailed me today to get my permission so he could make copies of my sermon on Hell, “A Tour of Hell” to pass out on his street ministry…all glory to God!
Yes dear sister I am a “marked man” but I pray that God uses me in greater capacities than He has ever used me before. He is more nearer to me now, more clearer, and more dearer than ever before. I desire to burn out for Him but I also desire to stay on this earth to help my daughter grow up and get out on her own with her life—hopefully living for Christ and His glory.
The “Dove” touched your life with a fresh fire and may that anointing shine brightly in dark Africa!
Blessings and much grace,
Your brother in Christ.