“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph 5:25-28)
The answer to this question is found in the Word of God. I also confirm it from my experience as a wife of more than 42 years and also from my experience as a Pastor. One thing is clear: the devil hates successful godly and happy marriages! To have a successful marriage it takes a lot of effort. That is why the spiritually lazy are all unhappily married. Any woman, but especially if she is born again, has her own expectations concerning marriage. This is because she reads the Bible and she sees God’s standard concerning the men. She is not happy if her dreams do not come true.
What does a Christian woman desires from her husband?
*Love! The husband must love her in a particular way: ‘even as Christ loves the Church’. This is the greatest love of all. It is not just a seasonal emotion, but a forever sacrificial love.
*Prayer! The husband must pray with and for his wife. Before praying for children, for friends and the extended family, the husband must regularly pray for his wife.
*Cleansing! A godly husband must ‘wash’ his wife with the Word of God. He must study the Bible to have enough ‘water and soap’ to do it.
*Providing! A husband must provide for the wife. He must be an ambassador of Jehovah Jireh in the home.
*Trustworthy! A godly husband must keep his word. He should not lie or give false hopes. He should not promise things he cannot perform. Breaking a promise to the wife means breaking her heart. And that breaking takes a long time to repair. He must be sexually faithful to his wife.
*Communicate! The husband must speak the truth in love! He should be a lover and a leader using good words! They should talk ‘heart to heart’, about everything. Silence is not a good communicator. You may misinterpret the absence of words. My husband and I we talk about everything. We are friends, lovers and co-laborers in ministry.
*Spiritual covering! The husband must take responsibility for the mistakes of his wife. He should not blame her harshly. He must correct the wife in love. This correction is an art. Do not correct in anger, but always in love. Be patient and expect improvement. Rejoice when the good changes come.
*A good father! The husband must be a good father to their children.
*Co-laborer! The husband must help carry the wife’s burdens. He must pray to understand his wife. This is not an easy task but with the help of the Holy Spirit he will succeed.
*Rejoice with her! He must make her laugh for laughter is like medicine. He should discuss their finances with her. They should not be greedy or wasteful. They should pay their tithes and offerings in the church.
*An encourager! He must encourage her to be all that God wants her to be. He should not expect perfection for no one is perfect. But they should mature spiritually and rejoice in the journey of life. Each season of life is beautiful in the presence of God!
This is our testimony. My husband loves me and I know it because he has proved it to me numerous times. He loves me with words and action. He prays for me. One of the sweetest times for me it is when my husband calls me and says: “My wife, let me pray for you…” To me this is the highest form of love in action. I so appreciate it! Recently, having some health issues, my husband’s prayers carried me on. My husband studies the Bible daily. I love it! We discuss the wonderful things we find in the Word of God. He provides for the financial needs of the home. He is not a lazy man at all! I trust him when he promises me things. He does not lie to me. He encourages me and he corrects me when I need both. He is happy when I improve in my character. We rejoice together. He is a good father to our children and a good grandfather. We share in the burden of the ministry. We laugh together, we work together. My marriage was not perfect from the beginning for we were both sinners when we fell in love. But after we became saved, the spiritual fruit started to appear and now our marriage is a garden of the Lord.
This is a prayer I often pray. It has worked for me. If you have faith, it will work for you! “Lord Jesus, please help me to see You in my husband’s eyes…help me to feel Your touch thru my husband’s hands. Bless our marriage. Bless our home with Your presence. Let the water be changed into wine in our marriage, In Jesus name, amen!”