“And Mordecai had brought up Hadassah, that is, Esther, his uncle’s daughter, for she had neither father nor mother. The young woman was lovely and beautiful. When her father and mother died, Mordecai took her as his own daughter” (Est 2:7)
My husband and I studied medicine in Romania, the country of my birth. Unfortunately, during the communist regime, Romania was known for having many orphans and abandoned children. I still remember the practical tests we did in that particular orphanage in Timisoara. The building was imposing and beautiful from the outside. But inside, in between its walls, there was spiritual darkness, depression, palpable sadness, hopelessness and hardness of hearts. The nurses and the caregivers tried their best but they were not enough to care for all the children there. I remember that the children will cry and cry until they get tired. They told us not to carry them in our arms because we ‘spoil them’. They have learned to keep silent for nobody had time for them. Many became adults carrying psychological scars for life.
Take note: There is a spiritual bondage called ‘Spirit orphan’. People like these ‘feel’ like orphans. Their parents may be alive, or they are dead, but they feel disconnected from their care. This is a stronghold in your mind built by an demon called ‘Spirit orphan’. You need the revelation and the power of the Holy Spirit to see this bondage and to deliver yourself! Bellow, see some of the patterns of behavior of those who grew up and orphans and those who have an ‘orphan spirit’.
*Orphans have problems with their appetites for food! They never eat a normal meal. They do not have a healthy appetite. They usually eat too much or they eat less than what is considered normal. They eat quickly so that nobody will take their food. They do not enjoy their food. They either put on weigh and become obese or they look too skinny!
*Orphans have problems with sleeping. They have a tendency to sleep too much or too little. When they wake up in the morning, they are anxious. They just stare at the ceiling. They do not cry to call the adults because they have learned that nobody comes.
*They never say ‘Sorry or Thank you’. They feel that there is no time for good manners which they consider a luxury.
*They have problems in making friends. They get easily provoked and quarrel. They prefer to stay alone. They blame people for being bad and rude.
*They do not do well in school. They fear failure. Because of that they refuse to do any assignment that they think it is too difficult. They hate to be taught. They do not know that growing and learning means that you are free to make mistakes and learn from them. They hate to ask for help from others. They hate to take risks or to walk into unknown territories. They ‘move in circles’, repeating the same thing again and again. They hate ‘fun’.
*They are too emotional. They have mixed feelings. Sometimes they are high (they talk too much) and other times are low (they keep quiet and grudging). Because in the orphanage they do not have personal toys or personal space they don’t know how to make long term plans for their lives. They do not have a vision of how their lives will be in the future. They survive just ‘one day at a time’ in constant fear of ‘what tomorrow may bring’. Because they want to establish their authority, the boys learn early to be aggressive and pushy. The girls learn to seduce the adult males so that they gain favors.
*They work to please the adults. They do not work well without supervision. They do not have a goal in mind. What they want is that the adult, the adoptive parent or the spouse will be happy with them. Once they receive their approval, they stop working. They are crazy for gifts, for material things. Because of that, if they do not receive them, they learn how to steal. Often, they become over friendly with strangers trying to make new friends. They are always restless and anxious looking for the most expensive gift of all: LOVE. But they rarely find it! That is why they rarely are able to settle or have peace in the marriage.
Now, let’s look at Queen Esther in the Bible. Esther was an orphan. She was raised by her uncle in a strange pagan land. She could have been psychologically scarred for life unable to be a normal wife, how much more to be a successful wife and a queen! But the grace of God changed her to be a role model for all people in general and all women in particular, everywhere to the end of time. First of all, she was a child of God! She was beautiful inside and out. She was wise, humble, discerning, patient, loving and spiritual. She won the favor of the eunuch in charge of the royal protocol. She won the favor of everyone who saw her. Finally, she won the favor of the king who placed Vashti’s gold crown on her head. She was an original woman of God. She knew how to be poor and how to be rich! She knew when to speak and when to keep quiet! She knew how to live in a hut and how to live in a palace. She knew how to submit and how to take charge! She was spiritually mature, wise and emotionally balanced. At that time, men did not expect much from a woman. She was to be only a sex object, lost in a hated faceless, loveless, orphanage-style harem. But by the grace of God she stood in the power of God’s might! She became a ray of light in a dark world, a messenger of Jehovah among the priests serving useless Persian gods. She was not a politician but she saved her people’s lives. The credit also goes to her uncle Mordecai, for adopting her and for training her to be a woman of God. But the total glory goes to God, who alone can save a sinner, turn an orphan into a queen, an outcast into a hero! Only God is able to pick a rejected stone and make it to be the jewel of His crown! Glory to God!
(In the picture, a happy Moroccan couple on their wedding day. I imagine that they look like King Xerxes and Queen Esther on their wedding day)