“According as He hath chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, To the praise of the glory of His grace, wherein He hath made us accepted in the Beloved” (Eph 1:4-6)

“Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel” (2Tim 1:9, 10)

“Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen” (Heb 13:20, 21)

“And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. If any man have an ear, let him hear” (Rev 13:8, 9)

The story of your salvation did not start the day you gave your life to Christ. It did not even start 2000 years ago on that Cross of Calvary. Your destiny story, your salvation testimony started in the heart of God ‘before the foundation of the world’. Before the visible universe was formed, before there was light on earth, there was a holy council in heaven between God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Trying to use our imagination, the Trinity meeting went like this:

God the Father: ‘As you know, since Lucifer was sent away with a third of the angels, heaven seems empty to Me. I have purposed to populate heaven. It is not with more angels, but with a new race, called mankind. I propose that We will create them according to Our likeness. They shall be male and female and they shall dwell on earth. They shall multiply according to their flesh. Out of their multitude we shall choose some to be saved and sanctified. Thru much suffering they shall become holy as we are holy. They shall come up here to join the choir of worshippers. On earth, Lucifer shall have access to them. He will deceive them to betray us. These things are planned to happen. Because of the future pain, I want You, God the Son, to pay the price for the rebellion of men. Their salvation depends on us, on You in particular. Down the ages, You shall take the body of a man and live among them. You shall tell them about Me, how much I loved them, even before the foundation of their world. The ones we chose in this meeting shall believe You. The rest will reject You and go to the desert of perdition. This is My heart plan and My mind purpose… What do You say?’

God the Son: ‘God the Father, I hear You and I love You. I understand Your plan. I love Your thoughts. I embrace Your purpose. I delight in Your words. I also understand that love has a price called death. I willingly lay down My life for these little but mighty worshippers. Right now I write their names on My Book of life. None shall be lost. Their numbers shall be complete. Father, may Your love slay My heart now. It shall manifest later on earth, when My human Blood shall flow down from a wooden Cross… I rejoice on behalf of sinners who shall become lovers and friends of God. I salute the grace that saves men. I can see the New heaven bubbling with praise and worship. I drink the cup You give to Me now. May Your will be done…All honor and adoration be unto You Father!’

God the Holy Spirit: ‘God the Father and God the Son, You have spoken well. I am a witness to all You’ve said. I also willingly accept the challenge to populate heaven with more worshippers. I shall go down to earth and I will tell men about Your love for them. Like wine in the vessels, I will fill them. I will work inside their hearts. I will give them the power to change. I will give them the strength to believe in God. I will direct their attention to God the Son. I will keep burning in their hearts the little flame of love until it consumes all bridges to their past of sin. I will seal them unto the eternal purpose of the Father. May Your will be done…All honor and adoration be unto You Father’

This is the story of unending love. This is the everlasting covenant that can never fail. Man was not there when his conception was ordained and his salvation was performed. Man broke other covenants in earth. But this everlasting grace covenant can never be broken. For the covenant was made with God Himself. God is a faithful God. There is no weak link in this holy agreement to create and to save worshippers. Before the mountains where placed on earth, before the birds flew in the sky, before the fishes swam in the ocean, before the flowers bloomed and the breeze cooled the air, the price for love was set and was paid in Blood. Life for life! Dear child of God, your destiny is too holy and your salvation is too old to be lost in a moment of time. Nothing in all creation can separate you from the love of God found in Christ Jesus! For love is older than creation. The plan of the Ancient of Days must stand. The Word of God is marvelous and mysterious yet forever true. Truth can never die. Truth is on your side. Love can never fail.  Be encouraged today in what God has done for you. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches!

MEMORY LANE

This is what I wrote under this picture, on this day exactly 6 years ago: “Today at the church building site I was impressed at how the brethren worked and helped one another. One of the brethren forgot his yellow boots and the other shared one of his with him. One boot on one leg is better than none. It has to be God! Give thanks…” This picture is taken as we were building our church, Father’s House Bible Church, Warri-Effurun (November 2011). Jesus is Lord!!!!

Lord God “You are good and You do only good” (Ps 119:68)
You who pray for healing, for deliverance, for marital or financial breakthrough… You need to obey God’s Word and start to praise Him for what He has already done in answer to your prayers! You need to exercise your faith and move on from prayer to praise! It is not easy! The devil will try to block you so that you pray forever and praise never! Submit to God! Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Then you will be able to praise in advance and the testimony shall become visible! I believe 100% that God has heard and answered your prayers already! Therefore it is your time to rejoice and praise the Lord!!! Doubt 0%! Praise the Lord!

I know my Redeemer lives!
All of creation testifies
This life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives…
For I am a child of God!

HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT

“Go in peace,” Elisha said” (1Kg 5:19)

The prophetic prayer meeting was very good. The Holy Spirit came and covered us with His light heaviness. We sang in the Spirit… ‘What manner of Man is Jesus? Halleluiah! He makes the blind to see! Halleluiah! He makes the lame to walk! Halleluiah! He came from heaven to earth, to show us the way… From the earth to the Cross our debt to pay… From the Cross to the Grave…From the grave to the sky…Lord I lift Your name on high… You are the Lord…You are the Lord… You gave me eyes to see… You are the Key that opens the door… You are the Owner of my soul… You love me, I cannot tell why… On Calvary tree, You suffered and died for me…You love me and I cannot tell why…’ There is a lifting… a burden that God did not place on you… The Holy Spirit lifts it now… We reject the evil spirit of depression, backsliding, religion and false prophets… Holy Spirit please come and do what no man can do… Fill us afresh…   Glory to the Father…glory to the Son… glory to the Holy Ghost!

The Word was from 2 Kings 5. It was the sad story of Gehazi, the servant and prophet in training of Elisha. His name means ‘The Valley of vision’. But he was spiritually blind and a greedy man. He was blind to the grace working in his master. Elisha healed Namaan and refused to take the money he offered. You can’t buy grace! You cannot buy divine healing! You cannot buy salvation! But Gehazi saw it as a lost opportunity to become ‘rich thru ministry’. Elisha sent Namaan away ‘in peace’. Healing is peace. Grace and peace are ‘twin sisters’. Gehazi runs after Namaan and greets him with the same word: ‘shalom’ (It is well!). Gehazi takes God’s name in vain!!! He lies to Namaan that Elisha is in need of money. He spoils the reputation of the prophet. He pays for this with his health. He loses his ministry, his health and the health of his children. (See the responsibility we have as parents!!!). The leprosy Namaan left behind is placed on Gehazi and his descendants. What a turning of the tables… The sick man is healed and the healthy man takes that sickness. Grace is free… God is sovereign in His dealing with men. God has no chancellor and no judge. God is no respecter of persons! He is the judge.

We repented from any connection with the evil spirit of Gehazi: loving money, greed, rebellion, giving and taking of bribes. Greed kills grace. Covetousness hinders the miracle you pray for! The same Gehazi is seen later working for the King of Israel (2Kg 8:1-6).  The prophet in training is now a politician… (Who knows how many of our politicians could have been in ministry but their spirits have been poisoned by demonic bribes? Lord God have mercy…)

“Do not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds those who see and twists the words of the innocent” (Ex 23:8). I shared a personal testimony with the congregation. More than ten years ago, a married man with children who was attending our church at that time came to me with a big envelope. He said that he wants to bless me with ‘a substantial amount of money’. He said that I have been a blessing to him especially thru the prophetic Saturday class. He looked humble and friendly.  I suddenly felt that something was not right…I could not explain… I then decided to ‘test the spirits’ (1Jn 4:1). I told him to give that gift to my husband who is the senior pastor of the church. He said ‘no’. He was insisting that I should take the gift. I started feeling even more uncomfortable in the spirit. I then told him to put the envelope in the offering box. He said ‘no’ that this gift is for me. I then said to him: ‘If you cannot give this gift to my husband or to my God, I cannot take it’. He put the envelope back into his briefcase and he left unhappily. Not long after that he and his family left the church. Since then I met people who have been spiritually wounded by the bribes of this man. He looked very ‘nice’ but he was clearly an agent of the devil to pollute Christians with bribes. I thank God for the restraining wisdom of the Holy Spirit. This is warning to all Christians in general and to pastors in particular! The devil works thru deception. Be careful especially when you pray for financial breakthrough. You need money. But not all money is good! Not every ‘envelope’ is from God! Not every gift comes without sorrow! Pray about the money offered to you as ‘gifts’. The Holy Spirit will tell you when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’! Your soul, your ministry, your marriage, your anointing, your vision that God gave to you is NOT for sale! May the Holy Spirit awake you from slumber and strengthen you to continue the race!  Jesus is Lord!

Our Women’ Fellowship was very good. We prayed and we praised God. We shared testimonies of the goodness of God. This is the sermon that was given:

There is a psychological phenomenon called ‘midlife crisis’. It is a time of increased anxiety concerning the future. It is more common with men but the women experience it too.  Women go through it earlier than men, often between the ages of 35 and 40. There is a major difference between the way men and women react during this crisis. Men are anxious for provision and women are anxious for identity. Men hate that they are getting old. They look back and wish to be young again. That is why they experience greater levels of anxiety. But for women, midlife crisis manifests more as a time to ask questions about their identity and purpose in life. Most women dream to marry and have children. Some also desires to achieve success in their careers. For many years they try hard to be ‘super-women’. They combine taking care of their families with involvement in business. These dreams are good enough for them when they are young, when they go to university and fall in love with the man they have been praying for.  These dreams are the source of most of their prayers from childhood until late thirties. But a time comes when they realize that God has already answered their ‘old’ prayers. By this time the children leave the home to go to the boarding house or to the university. Their husbands are more interested in making money than making love. The wine of romance is not bubbling again. In the office, the younger women are coming from behind and push them off from their pedestal of success. This creates a crisis in any middle age woman’s heart. Their youthful dreams are fading away and they awake to the reality that life is not easy and time is waiting for no one. As they reach menopause, most women become anxious, angry and depressed. They feel like losing control. They start putting on weight. They become careless with their appearance. To add to their problems, their husbands experience midlife crisis as well…

These are some signs of midlife crisis in women (I look these from the internet):

1-Starting to ask questions about life, destiny…

2-Desiring a simpler life

3-Realizing that many of your youthful dreams may not be accomplished (owning your own house… being slim and beautiful…)

4-Thinking about your ‘happy’ childhood a lot

5-Being jealous when you discover that your friends are richer or more successful than you

6-Buying a very expensive gift for yourself out of anger (something you can’t even afford…)

7-Worrying about your appearance (your hair is getting thinner, your waist is getting bigger, your face has wrinkles…)

8-Taking up a new hobby (like learning to play a musical instrument…)

9-Feeling sad when you look at the pictures showing you when you were much younger

10-Fearing that your parents will die soon (even if they are not sick…)

11-Reading obituaries and always checking how people died

12- Obsessively comparing your looks with others who are the same age with you

13-You stop telling people how old you are

14-Taking vitamins and supplements hoping that they work ‘miracles’

15-Worrying about High Blood pressure, Diabetes and other ‘old people’s sicknesses’

16-Always observing when your boss, your pastor, your landlord etc is younger than you and you feel embarrassed

17-Worrying that a younger person will take your job in the office

18-Dreaming about having hair transplant (men) or cosmetic surgery (women and men)

19-You are anxious, easily distracted and unhappy for no good reason… You lose your temper about little things

20-You stop reading books to educate yourself (you only check things on the internet on your phone for quick information)

21-You always complain that ‘you have no time’ for yourself …

How to prevent midlife crisis or any other emotional disappointment in life? It is to trust God and His Word!

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands,

And let her own works praise her in the gates” (PV 31:30, 31)

To find peace, joy, comfort and wisdom we have to go to the Bible. The Word of God applies to all, men, women and children; young and old. No matter the season in life, you will find encouragement and healing in the Word. Read Proverbs 31 and you shall find the model for us women. For example we are told that some things like sexy charm or physical beauty are temporary. They can deceive you thinking that they last forever. Nice dresses, jewelry, hairstyles are all good. Thank God for them. But if you give these too much importance you shall be disappointed and the crisis will be deeper. (Dear wife, no matter how nice you look in that new dress, your husband may be attracted by a younger (fake) version of you, whose face is smoother and whose body is slimmer than yours). Trusting and investing in these temporary things will end in disappointment.  But there are other things which are permanent: spirituality and ministry. The fear of God is the source of wisdom and godly character. The work, the business of a godly woman is always successful and fruitful.  May God encourage you at such a time as this!  In Jesus name!

‘It is God’s will that you should be sanctified’ (1Thess 4:3)

Do you want to know God’s will? So that you can do it? Read the Scripture above. God desires that you should be ‘sanctified’. This word means to be holy like God. If you say that you are a child of God, then you must resemble your Father in heaven in the way to think, speak and behave. To be holy it means to be different than the ordinary men and to be dead to sin. Do you hate sin? Or are you still addicted to sin, still a slave to sin?

‘And they journeyed from mount Hor by the way of the Red sea, to go round the land of Edom; and the soul of the people became impatient because of the journey (their soul was much discouraged because of the way)’ (Nu 21:4)

After many years of walking thru the wilderness, the people of God came close to the Promised Land. The country of Edom was the last hindrance for them to conquer. They were finally ready to possess their possessions. Moses sent a message to the king of Edom. He asked for a passage thru their territory. Moses promised that they will only walk on the ‘King’s highway’. They will not damage Edom’s fields and vineyards; they will eat their own food and pay for the water they shall drink along the way. The people of Edom were the descendants of Esau, their far relatives. The request seems reasonable. But to their surprise, Edom refused them the passage. Across the fields of Edom, they could see the Promised Land but they could not enter in. The heavenly cloud (re-)directed them to withdraw and to change direction. They have ‘to go round’ Edom to enter the Land of Promise thru the land of Moab and thru the River Jordan. This means a longer journey… They have to postpone their joy of entering their inheritance… This was hard for the people of God. Their souls became discouraged ‘because of the way’.

In Hebrew, the word ‘discouraged’ means to cut down to size, to diminish hope or to reduce your dreams. Essentially, discouragement is a loss of confidence in God. This feeling cripples faith and leads to sin. This is a warning to all believers and especially to the pastors who try to encourage discouraged people daily. We see discouragement as just a harmless weakness. We often try to encourage people with simple words: ‘Don’t worry… it will be better…’ But most of us don’t realize just how dangerous discouragement is. Discouragement is a spiritual virus!!! It leads to impatience, ingratitude, doubt, unbelief, selfishness (pity party), sins of the tongue (careless speech), distraction, blindness to temptation, anger, giving up (you lose spiritual strength, you become weak and lazy. A discouraged person retreats from the race. You say: ‘why should I bother to be a champion, a leader, a mentor? No need to fight… You are on your way back to the world. You become a discourager tempting others in the church to backslide! You choose to live your life in spiritual passivity, regrets, fault finding, resignation, bitterness or self-pity. God forbid! I hate that way!

How do I know that discouragement is a sin? Because God punished them with death! ‘The wages of sin is death’ (Rom 6:23). Discouragement made them to dishonor God. They complained about the longer way to enter the Promised Land. They spoke against God and their leader, Moses. God takes it personally when you insult His servant. This is rebellion. Complaining is rebellion!!! They started to doubt God’s salvation and God’s purpose. ‘Why did you bring us out of Egypt?’ They complained against Mana, which represents the Word of God. Discouraged people hate the Bible! They cannot enjoy the Christian life. They want to backslide. They blame everything and everybody. They drag many on the road back to the world. But they soon discover the discipline of God! The serpents bit them and many of them died!

Listen to these wise words: “Discouragement makes the hard path—much harder; and the heavy load—much heavier. Discouragement is a slow but methodical killer that feeds upon the unresolved disappointments of your life. It is a predator of the human spirit, dragging its prey, over muffled pleas, to the dark cellar of broken dreams” (J R Miller)

What is the cure for discouragement? God told Moses to make a serpent of brass and to lift it on a pole. Anybody who was biting by a fiery serpent and who looked at the brass serpent, that one shall live! Jesus said that the brass serpent represents Himself, the Savior who died for our sins (Jn 3:14, 15). What about us today? We too must look unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith (Heb 12:1-3).

This is my testimony: that by the grace of God I have fought and defeated the demon of discouragement!!! That is why I enjoy my work as a pastor. I made up my mind that I will obey God’s Word and leading Spirit. If the road is long or short, if the road is crooked or straight, if it passed thru valleys of across the mountains, in the midst or good people or bad, I must follow Jesus. I am not saved just to enter my ‘Promised Land’. I am saved not only to enjoy the promised blessings of God. I thank God for the blessings, gifts and rewards promised to me in Christ. But I know that I am saved primarily to give glory to God by becoming more and more like His Son Jesus Christ. You may be surprised that I say this: my destination is not heaven. My destination and destiny is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And because Jesus lives in heaven, I too will go there. My holy priority is to maintain and mature my relationship with Christ. My desire is to walk with Him daily. My passion is to be filled and led by the Holy Spirit. For me life is simple because God made it simple: Jesus Leads and I follow. The length and the narrowness of the road do not matter. Sooner or later I will have my testimony, that I have entered my Promised Land. I refuse to be discouraged by anything and anybody, man, angel or demon. I live free and happy to serve my Lord! This is the truth! May this be your portion too! In Jesus name, amen! Glory to God!

HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT

“For God’s anger lasts only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Ps 30:5)

The prayer meeting was very good. Outside it was raining heavily. Few people made it to church. But the Holy Spirit came heavily upon us. There was an expressed passionate hunger in our hearts to draw closer to God… We sang: ‘Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up Lord, Come and quench the thirsting of my soul, Bread of heaven fill me till I want no more, fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole”… I want to be made whole… The opposite of being whole is to be scattered. The evil spirit of religion attacks my mind, bringing conflicting thoughts, distracting feelings and scattering imaginations. But the Blood of Jesus makes me whole. I plead the Blood of Jesus upon your lives (your bodies, souls and spirits); upon your marriages and children… We prayed for a new filling with the Holy Spirit. We prayed for revival. We prayed for a fresh touch from the Master. We prayed that God does a new thing in our lives, something that only God can do; something that money cannot buy and nobody can steal away.

We rejected the evil spirits of depression, pornography, homosexuality and empty man-made religion. Some Christian people told me that they hide to smoke Indian hemp, take cocaine, drink alcohol and take sleeping tablets each evening. They tell me that ‘prayer is not enough’. They tell me that it is because of ‘life’s frustrations’. This is a lie! The devil is a liar! This is a wrong medicine! They need Jesus in their soul and to be filled with the Holy Spirit! The Holy Spirit comforts like no other. Jehovah Rapha can heal any disease! Jehovah Jireh is the great Provider! The Holy Spirit brings peace in the midst of the storm and joy in the midst of loss. We wept at the feet of Jesus. Our tears belong to Him alone. Then the joy of the Holy Spirit took over and we danced ‘like David danced…’ Joy came as a wave of living water on all of us this evening. Happily we said: ‘Welcome Favor! Good morning Joy!’ And we praised God!

Two teenagers: Bro. B and Sis. M, knelt down and thanked God for His grace upon their lives. Their father died two years ago leaving their mother with four kids. They are the oldest. Against all odds, God kept them. They just passed the exam to enter university. It is not easy to have good children even when both parents are alive. It is not easy to bring up godly children in Nigeria. But these two young people and their mother held onto Jesus. They knew that He is their only Hope! They attended every church activity. Bro. B decided to live in the church premises. Sis. M lives with a Christian family to help them with their children. Their mother is a usher in our church. Each time we gather for service they weep, worship and pray like there is no tomorrow. The Lord did not disappoint them. We pray that God will continue to provide all that they need, school fees and all… We ended the meeting with Spiritual worship and heart felt thanksgiving. We sang: “Oghene Miguo…” (It means ‘Thank you Lord’ – in Urrhobo language).

Indeed, Oghene, Miguoooo…..

“Jesus is infinitely wise and immutably holy–therefore His love is a wise and holy love. He wisely manifests His love, so as to . . .discountenance sin,encourage holiness, and further His people in their heavenly way and work. He visits in trials, reproves for folly, smites for sin, and withholds the light of His countenance, to testify His disapprobation of our ways–and yet, all this is in love! He will not caress the believer–when he is indulging in pride, worldliness, and backsliding from Him. Those whom He loves–He wisely corrects! He never spares the rod–to the spoiling of the child–but says, “I will correct you in measure–but will not leave you wholly unpunished.”

His wisdom and holiness shine in every part of His works–but in none more than in His dealings with His people. Was He less wise, we might have more comfort–but it would injure us. Was He less holy, we might have fewer trials–but we would assuredly be losers. Divine love, wisdom, and holiness combined–drew the plan of the Christian’s lot; and the same divine love, wisdom, and holiness–executes that plan. All the wisdom of Deity, under the guidance of Almighty love–shines in our path, our portion, and our circumstances; and when we enjoy the clear light of eternity–we shall see that this was the case. O if we really believed this now–how different would be our feelings and our practices often! How quietly would we submit to every painful dispensation of divine providence; how cheerfully would we acquiesce in every intimation of our Father’s will; and how readily would we take the cup which He has prepared for us, and drink it saying, “The cup which my heavenly Father gives me–shall I not drink it?”

There is divine wisdom in every trial–and divine love in every cross.Holiness and wisdom in Jesus, demand that our way should at times be hedged up with thorns. The infinite love of Jesus, shines in every painful discipline. He is no indulgent parent, no foolish friend, no unholy companion; He will not tempt us to evil, nor with evil–neither will He indulge us to our injury. He would rather close His ears to our cries–than His heart to our best interests; and the day is coming when we shall see that all our trials were needful–and not a trial could have been omitted, consistently with the wisdom and holiness of His love. May His love shed abroad in my heart–lead me to love, seek, and pant for holiness!”

(James Smith  1676-1724)

“Ask, and it will be given to you…Don’t bargain with God. Be direct… Ask for what you need… Keep asking, and it will be given to you” (Mt 7:7)

This is the command of Jesus. To ask it means to pray to God. How long do you pray? Until the answer is given to you! In Greek, the word ‘given’ also means ‘to minister adventure to you’. Adventure is defined as an exciting experience involving some risk. Cowards will never desire adventure. Their lives are stale and boring. They can never inspire anybody. For fear of danger, they chose to die a slow death, without songs and without dances. But a believer in Christ has seen the end of the story, the glory ahead. So, for him, danger with God is just a training school. If God is with you, you can never lose! What an adventure to be born again and Spirit filled!!! Do you know what I am talking about?

These are some pictures our daughter Jemine Leigh Oakes sent us this evening. Her son Oliver was hungry waiting for grapes. Life is hard and waiting is hard even for a two year old. But Oh… The joy of that grape in his hand… Be encouraged today that waiting is not forever and God will put a smile on your face at last!!!

“And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the Spirit of God
Yes, I will run the race
‘Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace”

(Hillsong)

HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT

Out women’s fellowship was very good. We praised God. We prayed to God. We testified to the glory of God and to the shame of the devil. Sister Y said that two nights ago the armed police man guarding the estate shot in the air. She, her husband and children got scared. Her husband phoned to ask what the problem was. The mopol said that it was an intruder. Her husband, who is the landlord, said that they should shut ‘the thief’ in the leg, that they should not kill him. They phoned the police area commander who sent a group of mobile police men too. But they missed the address and went to the next compound. In the midst of this confusion, sister Y remembered God and she started praying in tongues. After some time she had peace. Later, the ‘intruder’ proved to be an old woman (above 70 years), the mother of one of the tenants. She came out from the back door and she was sleep walking in the estate. Thank God that the police men did not kill or injure her! Sister C said that her son was diagnosed with autism. She decided to pray for him and prophesy health and life to him. She also decided to enroll him in a regular school. He is doing very well now and there is no sign of autism anymore. To God be all the glory! Then the Word of God came: Midlife crisis in women!

There is a psychological phenomenon called ‘midlife crisis’. It is a time of increased anxiety concerning the future. It is more common with men but the women experience it too. Women go through it earlier than men, often between the ages of 35 and 40. There is a major difference between the way men and women react during this crisis. Men are anxious for provision and women are anxious for identity. Men hate that they are getting old. They look back and wish to be young again. That is why they experience greater levels of anxiety. But for women, midlife crisis manifests more as a time to ask questions about their identity and purpose in life. Most women dream to marry and have children. Some also desires to achieve success in their careers. For many years they try hard to be ‘super-women’. They combine taking care of their families with involvement in business. These dreams are good enough for them when they are young, when they go to university and fall in love with the man they have been praying for. These dreams are the source of most of their prayers from childhood until late thirties. But a time comes when they realize that God has already answered their ‘old’ prayers. By this time the children leave the home to go to the boarding house or to the university. Their husbands are more interested in making money than making love. The wine of romance is not bubbling again. In the office, the younger women are coming from behind and push them off from their pedestal of success. This creates a crisis in any middle age woman’s heart. Their youthful dreams are fading away and they awake to the reality that life is not easy and time is waiting for no one. As they reach menopause, most women become anxious, angry and depressed. They feel like losing control. They start putting on weight. They become careless with their appearance. To add to their problems, their husbands experience midlife crisis as well…

It is good for us to understand this phenomenon, not only to help ourselves and also our husbands. Most men between the ages of 40-50 start to feel more anxious and restless. For the first time in their lives they need to confront the unpleasant reality of old age and death. They try to fight that. They want to recapture their youth when they were careless and free. The truth is that old age comes with its peculiar health and social challenges. All men hate changes. No transition in life is easy. Your once handsome man starts to put on weight and his body slows down. The doctor says that he needs to monitor his Blood pressure and Blood sugar. He needs to diet. He fears that he is not sexy anymore. He fears that life is passing him by. He becomes afraid that his youthful dreams may never be fulfilled. He is worried that he will die a poor man and that his children will suffer the same fate. These negative thoughts bring much anxiety to your husband. During panic attacks, he may start making foolish decisions. Some dress like young men. Some resign their good jobs to pursue some unrealistic dreams. Others start having affairs with young women trying to recover the faded romance…

This is a difficult time for all. As wives, what should we do? The first thing to remember is that God is still in charge. Fear and anxiety are emotionally addictive and poisonous to the mind; these are demons and must be rejected. In particular, during midlife crisis, the wife must pray to understand the pain of her husband. She must be patient, compassionate, wise and emotionally stable to be able to help him. It is easy to mock him. It is easy to emotionally abandon him. The most difficult part is when the husband commits adultery just to prove that he is still a young man. This is a tragedy. Adultery is sin. It separates the man from God and from his wife. It is not easy for a wife to remain faithful to God and to her husband if he commits adultery. It is not easy but it is possible. How? By trusting God! By trusting Jesus Christ who understands your pain because Himself was betrayed by his friends! Speak the Word of God to yourself: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philip 4:13). You may not need extra strength to walk down the street. But you surely need supernatural strength during times of grief, loneliness, misunderstanding, abuse and betrayal. The Holy Spirit, the heavenly Comforter, is able to carry you on. (I read that most adulterous affairs do not last but good marriages survive even adultery).

One of the attributes of a virtuous godly woman is her present strength when facing the future. She has faith and she has hope! She is not afraid of old age. She trusts that God is with her now and forever. She is not worried about people’s opinions, about the falling of the economy or other negative news. She is a pillar of strength to her husband and children. She is free from the fear of death, going to hell or losing her salvation. She is free from the devil’s condemnation. She has no inferiority complexes. This faith in God is the secret of her strength and of her unfading beauty. “She is a woman clothed with strength and dignity and has no fear of old age… She always faces tomorrow with a smile… She laughs without fear of the future… she smiles at the future… she will rejoice in the last day” (PV 31:25) Dear sister in Christ, does this word describe you?

EACH BABY IS SPECIAL!
JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN!

“Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life” (PV 31:10-12)

This is our testimony: My husband and I are married for 43 years. All glory to God! One of our greatest achievements is trust in God and in one another. It is easier to trust in God. It is much more difficult to trust in one another. A good marriage foundation is made of hard work. Work comes first. Pleasure is the fruit. Successful marriage is one of the greatest blessings given to men on earth. For both marriage and ministry we need trust!

“Who is she coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved? (SS 8:5). Trust to a relationship is like oxygen to the body. Without trust the relationship will suffocate and die. Here we see this couple coming out from the wilderness. The wilderness is a place of death. There is no water, no flowers and no colors. It stands for the world which is full of trials and temptations. This couple has endured many things in the desert. But they stayed together and they are coming out of it together. The Bride is ‘leaning’ upon her Beloved! This is a position of trust. The Lover is stronger than her. She needs his help. She trusts him to help her. They walk together, trusting each other. The wilderness experience was difficult and painful but it failed to separate the two of them. Divorce died in the heat of the desert of life. They are still together carrying a testimony of loving trust and resurrection power. Trust is a fighter and a survivor! Trust in God and in one another is not easy to achieve. But it is vital for the success of any relationship. Trust is defined as the unquestioning reliance on the character and strength of another. It is the confident expectation of hope; the assurance that the future of the relationship will be better than the present. Trust gives a feeling of security. Trust is built having faith in the Word of God and from past experiences you had together. When you trust your husband you believe that he will be sexually faithful in the marriage, understand your deepest needs and help you fulfil them. That is why mature trust is always connected with deep understanding and with total satisfaction at all levels, spiritual and physical. Trust is a royal crown to a successful marriage.

Once trust is broken, it is very hard to regain. Trust must be earned. It takes hard work and patience to re-build trust. The first reason for broken trust is money. You both need to build trust in the way you handle finances. If you cannot trust your spouse with your money, you will not be able to trust him (or her) with other things. The second reason is adultery. The opposite of trust is anxiety and doubt. These feelings appear when you think that your spouse exploits you and does not have your best interests at heart. How do you build trust? By first of all putting all your trust in God and His Word! Out of that faith you can invest your trust in one another. To build trust you need good communication and understanding. Learn how to say ‘yes’ and how to say ‘no’. Do not always say ‘yes’ just to avoid arguments. Be true to your conscience, your feelings and desires. Share your vision for life with your husband. Do not sacrifice your dreams for the sake of ‘peace’. You need to listen to the other’s perspective. Put yourself in ‘his shoes’. Try to understand his fears and pains. Help the other in his weaknesses. The desire to help will build trust. Pray that your marriage will grow, spiritually and emotionally. A stagnant relationship becomes a place where the weeds of doubt will grow. Building your marriage together creates excitement and trust. Try to do something new together, travel together; serve God together! Make new memories together. Have new things to talk about. Don’t overstretch the relationship. Do not provoke one another to jealousy. Don’t keep secrets. Be open and vulnerable with each other. Keeping secrets takes a lot of energy and destroys trust. If you are secretive you will become tired and sad. Be gentle and wise with each other. Each one has a different level of maturity. There are seasons in each relationship. Keep your eyes on Jesus as you grow together! Finally, remember that these are just guidelines. Building loving trust takes a life time. Trust is risky but very rewarding! May God help you to build a happy home! In Jesus’ name, amen!