MIDLIFE CRISIS IN WOMEN 

HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT

Out women’s fellowship was very good. We praised God. We prayed to God. We testified to the glory of God and to the shame of the devil. Sister Y said that two nights ago the armed police man guarding the estate shot in the air. She, her husband and children got scared. Her husband phoned to ask what the problem was. The mopol said that it was an intruder. Her husband, who is the landlord, said that they should shut ‘the thief’ in the leg, that they should not kill him. They phoned the police area commander who sent a group of mobile police men too. But they missed the address and went to the next compound. In the midst of this confusion, sister Y remembered God and she started praying in tongues. After some time she had peace. Later, the ‘intruder’ proved to be an old woman (above 70 years), the mother of one of the tenants. She came out from the back door and she was sleep walking in the estate. Thank God that the police men did not kill or injure her! Sister C said that her son was diagnosed with autism. She decided to pray for him and prophesy health and life to him. She also decided to enroll him in a regular school. He is doing very well now and there is no sign of autism anymore. To God be all the glory! Then the Word of God came: Midlife crisis in women!

There is a psychological phenomenon called ‘midlife crisis’. It is a time of increased anxiety concerning the future. It is more common with men but the women experience it too. Women go through it earlier than men, often between the ages of 35 and 40. There is a major difference between the way men and women react during this crisis. Men are anxious for provision and women are anxious for identity. Men hate that they are getting old. They look back and wish to be young again. That is why they experience greater levels of anxiety. But for women, midlife crisis manifests more as a time to ask questions about their identity and purpose in life. Most women dream to marry and have children. Some also desires to achieve success in their careers. For many years they try hard to be ‘super-women’. They combine taking care of their families with involvement in business. These dreams are good enough for them when they are young, when they go to university and fall in love with the man they have been praying for. These dreams are the source of most of their prayers from childhood until late thirties. But a time comes when they realize that God has already answered their ‘old’ prayers. By this time the children leave the home to go to the boarding house or to the university. Their husbands are more interested in making money than making love. The wine of romance is not bubbling again. In the office, the younger women are coming from behind and push them off from their pedestal of success. This creates a crisis in any middle age woman’s heart. Their youthful dreams are fading away and they awake to the reality that life is not easy and time is waiting for no one. As they reach menopause, most women become anxious, angry and depressed. They feel like losing control. They start putting on weight. They become careless with their appearance. To add to their problems, their husbands experience midlife crisis as well…

It is good for us to understand this phenomenon, not only to help ourselves and also our husbands. Most men between the ages of 40-50 start to feel more anxious and restless. For the first time in their lives they need to confront the unpleasant reality of old age and death. They try to fight that. They want to recapture their youth when they were careless and free. The truth is that old age comes with its peculiar health and social challenges. All men hate changes. No transition in life is easy. Your once handsome man starts to put on weight and his body slows down. The doctor says that he needs to monitor his Blood pressure and Blood sugar. He needs to diet. He fears that he is not sexy anymore. He fears that life is passing him by. He becomes afraid that his youthful dreams may never be fulfilled. He is worried that he will die a poor man and that his children will suffer the same fate. These negative thoughts bring much anxiety to your husband. During panic attacks, he may start making foolish decisions. Some dress like young men. Some resign their good jobs to pursue some unrealistic dreams. Others start having affairs with young women trying to recover the faded romance…

This is a difficult time for all. As wives, what should we do? The first thing to remember is that God is still in charge. Fear and anxiety are emotionally addictive and poisonous to the mind; these are demons and must be rejected. In particular, during midlife crisis, the wife must pray to understand the pain of her husband. She must be patient, compassionate, wise and emotionally stable to be able to help him. It is easy to mock him. It is easy to emotionally abandon him. The most difficult part is when the husband commits adultery just to prove that he is still a young man. This is a tragedy. Adultery is sin. It separates the man from God and from his wife. It is not easy for a wife to remain faithful to God and to her husband if he commits adultery. It is not easy but it is possible. How? By trusting God! By trusting Jesus Christ who understands your pain because Himself was betrayed by his friends! Speak the Word of God to yourself: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philip 4:13). You may not need extra strength to walk down the street. But you surely need supernatural strength during times of grief, loneliness, misunderstanding, abuse and betrayal. The Holy Spirit, the heavenly Comforter, is able to carry you on. (I read that most adulterous affairs do not last but good marriages survive even adultery).

One of the attributes of a virtuous godly woman is her present strength when facing the future. She has faith and she has hope! She is not afraid of old age. She trusts that God is with her now and forever. She is not worried about people’s opinions, about the falling of the economy or other negative news. She is a pillar of strength to her husband and children. She is free from the fear of death, going to hell or losing her salvation. She is free from the devil’s condemnation. She has no inferiority complexes. This faith in God is the secret of her strength and of her unfading beauty. “She is a woman clothed with strength and dignity and has no fear of old age… She always faces tomorrow with a smile… She laughs without fear of the future… she smiles at the future… she will rejoice in the last day” (PV 31:25) Dear sister in Christ, does this word describe you?

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