MARRIAGE COUNSELLING (3)

I AM QUIET, GENTLE, PRECIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL
“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1Pet 3:1-4)

MY TESTIMONY AS A WIFE
I shall now boast in the Lord! My husband and I are married for 42 years. In Christ and by the grace of God, I declare that I am quiet, gentle, precious and beautiful! The Word of God says so! My husband says so! What others say it does not matter. I have learned over the years to speak less than my husband, especially when we are in public. For example, if he speaks 10 words, I speak maybe 3. If he is not around I can speak 8. You may joke about it, but this is the truth. I mentally count the times I open my mouth. If I do not have something good and godly to say, I am not ashamed to keep quiet. I do not have to prove that I am intelligent by talking.

When I talk, I make sure that I am on my husband’s ‘side’. I do not come from the opposite side. I do not stand against him spiritually speaking. I do not threaten him positionally. I am never on the side of them who argue with him, even if jokingly. If I do not understand something he says I make a mental note to ask him at home. I do not want to ask him any question while others listen to us talking. If it is an ‘emergency’ I ask him in Romanian. Thank God, most people do not understand this language. I do this because I do not want to be seen as his boss, teacher or mentor. I gladly submit to him because of God’s command. I also do not ask other men questions in my husband’s presence. I do not want to be seen as a foolish ignorant wife. That attitude will place the blame on him implying that he did not teach me well at home.

You may ask… What is my ‘gain’ in all this? My gain is God’s pleasure over our home! The Holy Spirit is free to move, and work in us from inside out. Both my husband and I are ‘work in progress’ but if I obey God’s Word, the progress is faster. I love that!

The devil loves to ask questions causing division, doubts, fears and confusion. I pray before I talk. I choose when to answer or when not to answer a question that is ‘thrown’ at me. My husband is the only one who has the right to demand answers from me. No other person has the same right. I do not regret talking too little but I regret talking too much. This strategy of keeping quiet (well… most of the time) is not legalistic or religious. It is the result of the leading of the Holy Spirit who gives me the power to choose silence when silence is the winner. To God be all the glory!

MARRIAGE COUNSELLING (2)

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
A question is a sentence used to find out information. In an exam, a question is a problem that tests a person’s knowledge or ability: A question produces doubt about the truth of something, creating confusion in the minds. The devil was the one who asked the first question in the Bible. “Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” (Gen 3:1).

According to the definition of the word ‘question’ these are the motives in the devil’s mind when he talked to Eve: he wanted that she should open her heart to him. The devil wanted that Eve should give him more information about her relationship with God, about her marriage and her life in general. As you can see, a question provokes an answer. This is an invitation to intimacy, to close friendship.

This is a spiritual lesson: When the devil is asking you a question, you should totally refuse to answer him. You rebuke him and not cooperate with him. You should not give the devil any information about your life. Secondly, when the devil is asking you a question, he wants to test your knowledge about God and His Word. If you fail the test, the devil will be more confident to attack you further. For example, when Eve replied that God said they should not eat or touch the forbidden fruit, the devil immediately attacked tempting her to disobey God’s command. This is because Eve misquoted God’s command. God did not say that if they touch the fruit they will die. Eve failed the test of the devil’s question. As a teacher, the devil ‘punished’ his student called Eve.

Finally, the devil’s question was designed to create doubt and confusion about God’s character and love towards men. This doubt is a poisonous arrow creating anxiety and inferiority complex. Eve started thinking that she is too foolish and she needs more wisdom so that next time she can ‘impress Teacher devil’ with her intelligent answers. She forgot that God created her perfect and she needed nothing more than an intimate relationship with her Maker. Looking for that wisdom, she eats the forbidden fruit and convinces her husband to do the same. Sin and death entered their spirits and bodies that very moment. This is the story of the fall. The deadly effects of sin can only be destroyed in Christ alone. Remember, he who asks questions may be a teacher or may be a student. The devil pretend to be the teacher who asks his students questions. If you submit to this criminal teacher, the devil becomes your master. God forbid!

Since Eve’s deception, women in particular have struggled with questions and answers ever since. Many are still confused about who to ask and when to ask questions. They still struggle with doubts and confusion more than the men. They still have inferiority complexes about their intelligence and wisdom. That is why in the Bible there is a restrain upon women, not to ask questions in public. This is so that they will not reinforce their inferiority complexes and expose their foolishness to outsiders. “If they (the wives) have any questions, they should ask their husbands at home, for it is improper for women to speak in church meetings” (1Cor 14:35). Asking questions and giving answers is to be done at home, in a quiet, safe and loving atmosphere. The Holy Spirit is their Teacher.

A MOTHER’S PRAYER
I pray for you, my daughters! I love you very much! I pray that God will deliver you from any fears, doubts, confusions and inferiority complexes about your mind, memory or intelligence! You have the mind of Christ! You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God! You can pass any exam. With hard work and God’s blessings, you can graduate from any school! You can take any job! You can do any business! You can do all things thru Christ who strengthens you! You are not in any way less than your brothers or your male colleagues! Your destiny is to be women of God, mothers in Zion! Joyfully embrace that! Worship the Lord! Serve God!I pray that you find peace with God and with yourselves! In Jesus name, amen!

I COME TO THE GARDEN ALONE

I received a beautiful letter from a sister in Christ who lives in teh US. She was a missionary in Nigeria for 7 years. We became friends during her stay here, when she needed a medical doctor. Many people who call themselves Christians go to church. But very few know and understand the powerful royal way of the Cross. She is one of these very few… Please read and pray about these words…

“Good Afternoon Lia,
You are on my mind today so I thought to take a moment to write you. First of all, I hope you and Richmond are doing very well. It must feel amazing to see that the work you began on Father’s House, has come to completion. What a joy to see what Father has done through His people. I’m sure you rehearse the past years of walking through what must have seemed difficult and without end. Look what God has done.

I’ve thought many thoughts about your injuries when you fell, and your healing and the time spent in humility before the Lord as you healed. Isn’t it something that many times God uses what seems to be something negative, to bring forth so much of HIs glory. He delights to show His faithfulness and bring forth fruit from our situation. I so enjoyed your reports of what the Lord did in you during your time spent away from people and the festivities of church life, or as we know it is really “life in the body”. I think you know that I love to garden, whether it is with fruits and vegetables, or flowers. I find the most amazing truths in the garden, and I have the most amazing times with the Father while gardening. Gardening is hard backbreaking work sometimes, but the fruits that come from all our work, is the reward in the end. I have come to realize that in order to bring forth real beauty from many plants that flower, many times I have to break off limbs, leaves, flowers, etc., in order to get a future plant that will be profusely beautiful in the future. In fact, I was just outside on the deck looking at the flowers who have endured after a long hot summer. They have become quite parched and dry in places, though still producing.

Now that the cooler weather is beginning to set in, they are starting to “green up” and the production of new flowers and new growth is setting in. I have noticed that many of the lower stalks of the plants have many flowers on them, but the stalks look dry and burned. I had thought a few days ago that I would leave them on the plant so I could enjoy their flowers, but as I was looking this morning, I began to realize that for the health of the whole plant, I need to break off those flowering stalks that hang down so beautifully, so they can come back with new growth, new health, and new beauty. In fact, the whole plant was hoping I would cut off the lower branches because it was taking much nutrients to keep them alive and blooming.!! 🙂 So, I finally gave in and cut the stalks off that made the lower flowers hang down the pot.

In thinking of how the Lord pulls us back sometimes from what looks fruitful, and what looks like it needs our help, I have come to realize that the master gardener truly knows much much better than we do how to bring forth the most beautiful, most fragrant , and most useful parts of the plant. So my friend, I rejoice with you that your time of rest ( or dormancy as in the case of all things that grow) has ended and you are in a new fruit bearing season. One time the Lord spoke so clearly to me as I was driving in the countryside about all of the trees that were missing their leaves in the winter. They look so dry and so ugly during the winter, but the Father said that without the winter dormant period, we are unable to see the true structure and state of the tree. In the winter, we can take stock of all parts of the branches, we can see if there is disease, see if there are places that need special attention, or limbs that need to be lopped off due to disease, or parts of the tree that need something to kill the bugs that are attacking it. So winter is so important in God’s plan. Your description of what the Lord had done in you during your recovery, was so very precious. You will always cherish those amazing times you had with the Lord.

I will never forget when the Lord began to slowly let us know that He would be bringing us back here, we could hardly believe it, or bear the thought of leaving there, because that year was the most fruitful of all our years spent. My thought was…”why would the Lord remove us during our most fruitful season”? Little did we know we would face a long winter winter of purging and pruning with periods of fruitfulness mixed with amazing times of seeing the Lord move. It was there we begin to see that all the pain we went through here was pruning so God could get the most glory out of us. It really take s a lifetime of a very patient and loving Lord who so willingly takes all the time needed to bring us into His glory and fruitfulness. So, I am rejoicing with you Lia that you are being made ready for greater fruitfulness, greater understanding and revelation, and greater love than ever before.

Your sister and friend,
C…”

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PREPARE FOR THE DAY OF BATTLE!

“The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the LORD” (PV 21:31)

Last night I watched the debate between Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump. I am not a politician; not in Romania, not in Nigeria and not in the US. I am not a Democrat or a Republican. I am a child of God. I chose to watch the debate looking for spiritual lessons .I can now say this: I enjoyed the debate. I gained something by looking at these two people arguing their case. I enjoyed the debate for personal reasons. I can identify with her much more than with him. Of course, she is a woman and I am a woman, but that is not the only reason.

To me, his spirit is not right. He is a bully and an oppressor. He takes pleasure in rising up by putting others down. He looks like a man who made money by making others poor. There is curse upon such a style of becoming wealthy. “Whoever oppresses the poor to increase his own wealth, or gives to the rich, will only come to poverty” (PV 22:16).

He is too proud of himself. This pride is an ugly pride. He praises himself too much. He takes the glory for his achievements. But this is God’s advice: “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips” (PV 27:2). He looks very selfish. He looks like a hunter with the reflexes of a hunter. He is aggressive and rough. It is true that sometimes you need to be rough, but that is only occasionally. But in his case, he lives in a stronghold of boastful oppression. It is his life style and spiritual identity. He mocks weak people. God hates that! “Those who mock the poor insult their Maker; those who rejoice at the misfortune of others will be punished” (PV 17:5)

Then there is another issue: It looks to me that he came to the debate unprepared. He was happy with his ignorance of the protocol. This was his downfall. He thought that just his ‘charisma’ was enough to pass the exam. He was wrong. As a mother, as a teacher, I tell my children that they have to pay the price for success, for any good thing in life. It is true that we pray, but we also need to prepare for the exams of life. God Himself paid the price for our salvation. We must do the same. “You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (1Cor 6:20).

If you go to an exam that you did not prepare for and you expect success, then you deceive yourself. You are a fool. If you need to pass an exam, do not trust your common sense or your ignorant memory. You need to look for the best books on the subject and you need to study them. To read is not easy. I observe that people who are proud of their looks, or their achievements, or their ‘connections’, do not like to pay the price for success. They live mostly in past glory. But the people who are weak, poor or plain looking (not what you call beautiful) they do not expect any special favors in the exam hall. They prepare themselves and that is how they pass the exams. Of course, success comes from God. But you need to train yourself to be the best soldier that you can be and do not be presumptuous assuming that God will help you even when you do not prepare yourself.

I also observed that she was thinking before answering, but he was not. Most of the time he spoke before thinking. That makes him a fool and a fool cannot be a mentor or a leader. “Whoever answers before listening is both foolish and shameful” (PV 18:13). It is shameful when the mouth is more active than the brain.

He takes pride in being different than the ‘establishment’. He is confident that people are so disappointed with the present administration that they will vote for him just because he is different. Let me say this, it is good to be different than the others who have failed. But being different is not enough. You need to be different and better, not just different. To me, he does not look better than what is presently offered in leadership. He presents to the people a spirit of adultery as a different option, an alternative to a failing marriage. I am a married woman. I value marriage too much to be entertained by adulterous funny spirits. As a pastor I tell people that a marriage can still be repaired and prayed for before you can think of an alternative, a ‘better boyfriend’. A good affair is always worse than a weak marriage.

Physically she looked weaker than him. But she compensated well by being spiritually stronger, sure of her knowledge, trusting her experience and confident of her stand. She kept her cool and her smile thru the bulldozing attitude and words of a wild bully. He drank water more than 10 times. She did not drink at all. He looked like an overheated engine ready to explode. She sounded like a designer car ready for the long trip. At the end I can say this: ‘I am with her!’ Well done Hilary Clinton! You have impressed me as a woman, as a leader! Just give God all the glory for your victory last night! I pray that you are the next president! God bless you!

THE SPIRIT OF JEZEBEL DEFEATED

HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT

“These are the words of the Son of God, whose eyes are like blazing fire and whose feet are like burnished bronze. I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance… Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet” (Rev 2:18-20)

The prayer meeting was very good. What made it good was the presence of the Holy Spirit in our midst, leading and strengthening us to pray. The spiritual ‘network’ was free. We took advantage of that and we prayed with all our hearts. We entered the courts of God with thanksgiving and praise. The message was from Revelation 2 and exposed the evil spirit of Jezebel. Read 1Kg 16-21; 2Kg 9; Rev 2. The meaning of the name Jezebel: “like a virgin”, “without dwelling” or ‘Baal’s wife”. Other names for it (especially in this area) are these: Mammy water, Water spirit, Spirit wife (husband), Ogbanje, Potiphar’s wife, Athalia, Herodias, Delilah, Queen of heaven, Sugar mummy, Sugar daddy, Iron Lady…

She was a wicked pagan queen from Sidon who married Ahab, a king of Israel. She was very religious and a false prophetess. She never accepted the worship of Jehovah, the God of her husband. She remained faithful to the religion of her ancestors, the worship of Baal. Jezebel spirit is not ‘an ordinary’ demon. She is a high rank principality who corrupts homes, marriages, churches and nations. The Lord praised the church of Thyatira for their labor, faith, patience and love. These are the elements needed to seek and serve God. But Jezebel is also attracted to these wonderful blessings and comes to corrupt God’s people. Love without discipline becomes sexual immorality. Loving one another and tolerating Jezebel will end in disaster. For example, if a husband decides to love his wife with the love of Christ, Jezebel will attack that man until he withdraws from such a godly commitment. In this way the husband will stop being passionate towards God and his wife. Another example: if a man decides to work harder, or to have a better business, or to serve God more, Jezebel will attack until the man becomes lazy, confused or passive. In this way he will chose poverty than to stand against this demon. He will tolerate Jezebel and then backslide.

Jezebel is a proud queen and she loves to seat on her throne. She loves to be worshipped and to be in control. Many marriages and churches fail because of the influence of this demon. But remember this: the wicked Jezebel died a tragic untimely death which was prophesied by the Prophet Elijah. Her own servants, the eunuchs (the men she has deeply hurt) pushed her to death. The wicked may prosper thru wickedness for a time but they never end well.

One word that Jezebel hates is “NO!” She hates to be refused. This is God’s promise that if you resist the devil, he will flee from you. You must see not only the ‘face’ of Jezebel, but her back too, running away from you in disgrace! Until you see that, the battle continues! When the evil comes like a flood, the Spirit of God will raise a standard against it. On that standard it is written: “NO!” By the Blood of Jesus we say No to Jezebel! We say No to poverty! We say No to fear! We say No to divorce! We say No to backsliding! We say No to barrenness, miscarriages, sicknesses, accidents and untimely death! No! No! No! But we say Yes to God! We say Yes to Jesus! We say Yes to the Holy Spirit! Jesus is Lord!!!

SEEK GOD AND BLESSINGS SHALL FOLLOW

PRAISE REPORT

I received this letter from a sister in Christ. She is quite new in our church. She is married with three children. She is born again for some years serving God faithfully. But she became dry spiritually. She was attending a church where the pastors manipulate the congregation to give money. It affected her spirit. She told me that she has depression, fits of anger, she is impatient with her husband and kids and generally unfulfilled as a Christian. I told her to fast and pray that God will help her come back to Christ, her first love. I told her to reject the evil spirit of religion. I also told her that if she humbles herself and comes to the Cross, God will bless her in all areas of her life. This testimony is given to the glory of God, to the shame of satan and for the encouragement of the children of God. If you want to pray for her or counsel her, please do. This is her story:

“Good evening ma. May I kindly share with you how God has graced me and my family…
First, I am a grocer and have a shop upstairs in a mall where I sell raw foodstuff. Having a shop upstairs and selling foodstuff was pretty challenging as I was a bit hidden and lifting items upstairs and downstairs into clients’ cars was not easy. I desired for long to have a shop downstairs by the road. God just gave me a big shop downstairs by the road. Hallelujah! It’s much more expensive and because of its strategic position many who had ready cash put me under pressure as I didn’t have the full amount. So I prayed and left it all in God’s hands. Long story short today almost a month after the shop is mine and I only paid for 4 months instead of what they were asking for. I also gave my offerings and praised God for that shop and He did it for me. Hallelujah!

Secondly Mother, my kids are really doing a lot lot better all round and in their academics. My daughter who was always behind was declared the top speller of the week. Its never happened. Our two sons also are doing a lot better at school. My husband’s company got awarded contracts he has been bidding and working towards. Praise God!

Mother, after I spoke with you and you put me on a fast, the Holy Spirit showed me how un-thankful I had been. He opened my eyes to see things in my life to be thankful for. Ma, I asked for mercy and began thanking Him for everything even those things I was ashamed of. I also began teaching my kids to be thankful. I have a home today even though there is great room for improvement As a family, we now pray together, we love what we have and are thankful for our lives. That war, that anxiety, that turbulence I used to experience inside me has stopped and I’m now peaceful. I have learnt not to worry about vanities but To Seek God and live for Him.
I woke up one morning crying Lord I want nothing more but you. Waoh… amazing.

I’m so thankful Ma for your mentorship and TaLi’s teachings.
I’m grateful that you are my Pastors. God bless you!
Your daughter…”

MARRIAGE COUNSELLING (1)

 

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24)

 

If you are married or single, please meditate upon these words. God invented the institution of marriage! It is not man who invented it. It is not the woman. It is not the devil! It is God!!! Before God creates governments and the church, He created the institution of marriage. The Christian marriage is made of one husband and one wife brought together by the Holy Spirit in a lifelong covenant. Do you know that God values your marriage very much? Not just the idea of marriage in general, but your own marriage! God wants your marriage to succeed! God wants that both of you should be happy serving God together. Do you really know that? This is the truth! Read the first three chapters of the Book of Genesis. In the first two you see how God created man and woman and put them together as husband and wife. In chapter three you see how the devil succeeds deceiving Eve, Adam rebels against God and their marriage crumbled. From an ideal relationship it became something lower. We too suffer since then. Only in Christ can our lives and marriages become saved and granted a new beginning.

 

What are some lessons?

First of all, marriage is a relationship between blessed equals. “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them…” (Gen 1:27, 28). God created both of them. The man is not created in the image of God more than the woman. Both man and woman ‘resemble’ God equally. God blessed them equally.

 

Secondly, God who created them gave them different functions to exercise in the setup of marriage. “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Gen 2:18). Man is to be the head, or the leader of the wife. This is God’s gift to him. The wife is to be the body, or the helper of the husband. This is God’s gift to her.  No one is superior to another. The head cannot live alone just as the body cannot live without the head. Each has to fulfill God’s purpose in the role given to them.

 

The devil attacks both these revelations. He tells the men that they are superior to the women. Or he tells the feminists that they are superior to men. These are both lies. You should reject them! The devil also attacks the understanding of the different functions in marriage. Deceived by the devil, the woman becomes rebellious and proud. She is tired to be the helper and she wants to be the head of the home. The husband is also deceived when he is tired to lead the wife. He now wants to be lazy and passive trying to ‘help’ his wife become the head of the home. Both are sinful positions. They are confused about the roles they need to play. This confusion brings a lot of troubles in the marriage. That is why it is good to go back to the Bible and read the Word of God again. The Word is our anchor in this difficult life.

 

Please obverse that the wife submits and she is the helper to ONLY her husband. No wife should submit and help other men around her. This arrangement is designed only for the marriage. In the office, in business or in the army women can be the directors and men have to submit to them. But if a wife submits and helps other men the same way she helps her own husband that is adultery.

 

We all need wisdom based on the understanding of the Word of God on how to have a godly, good, strong and happy marriage. I write these words with a burden for you, young (and not so young) people, that you should marry and marry well. This is my testimony and recommendation: I am a happily married woman for more than 42 years, a mother of three, a grandmother of six, a pastor’s wife and a pastor myself. From the bottom of my heart I wish you well! God bless you!

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