“The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit.

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (PV 18:21, 22)

THE TONGUE OF DEATH HAS BEEN DEFEATED!

Recently, a sad young man showed me a text message on his phone. It was from his wife who claims to be a Christian. The two of them had a quarrel. I could only read few words and I felt like sick. She wrote: “You are a goat, a slave and an idiot…” The rest I can’t even print. I was very sorry…I knew his wife. She never insulted me directly, but these words revealed her real spirit. There is no need to ask him what provoked his wife to say such things…No woman of God should speak like this! Not even to her driver or house-boy! Try to imagine, after hearing these words, how can such a man go to church to worship? Dear brothers and sisters, under no circumstances, under no provocation you should speak write or even think such wicked words. A wise woman builds her house (with kind, patient, loving and encouraging words…with silences when needed…with prayers…with kindness in action…) but a foolish one will destroy her own marriage with bitter words and with the fiery tongue of a serpent on errand from hell (PV 14:1).

 

Read the scriptures above. The Holy Spirit has placed them together. The success of any marriage depends on the words spoken at home. I counsel women (mostly) and men in my office. Often they come crying, quoting painful words and bitter curses from the mouth of their spouses. Physically, men are stronger. Under provocation they may react violently. As a wife, it is terrible to be a victim of physical domestic violence. No wife forgets that slap, that punch, that beating. Years pass by but the anger, the shame is still there. The women attack their husbands with words. They hurt their feelings with insults, mockery or curses. Words can be even more painful than a ‘silent’ slap. We may regret the words and the hurt caused in anger. We may even say sorry… but the wounds last for a long, long time. Words have power. Words are seeds of life or death. There is a harvest for each one of us. We must eat it, if we like it or not. We cannot divorce our words. They shall hunt us, for better or for worse. There are consequences we must bear for the words that came out of our mouths.

There is power in the tongue. During the time of dating, study each other and especially, listen to one another. The beauty of her face or the money in his account cannot compensate for the mistake of marrying someone who does not fear God and cannot control the tongue. Our words reveal our hearts.

 

Dear brother, do you want to know if this woman you say you love will be a good wife to you? Then listen to her well! Listen to her speech! What is she saying to you? What is she saying to others? Especially, listen to her when she is angry….Listen to her when things do not work her way… Listen to her when she is tired to pretend…

A mature Christian woman is known by self-control. She has the power to control her tongue, even under painful provocation. Your wife should not curse you at all! If in pain, she will explain to you how she feels, but she will never curse you. ‘The law of kindness is on her tongue’ (PV 31:26). She will either bless you or she will keep silent. But she will not lose her temper and angrily scream bitter insults at you. That is how unbelievers react. Marry a child of God! You say that this is an ideal woman. Yes, but this ‘ideal’ woman exists somewhere. Pray that God will connect the two of you. Why marry danger? Why connect with hell? Why gamble with your destiny?

 

The tongue has the power to kill the listener. A wayward woman is known by her speech. She uses flattery to seduce the ignorant. Flatter means insincere, lying praise. Dear brother, why do you want to listen to lies? Why do you want to hear wonderful things about your successes or about your possessions? Why do you want to feed the pride of life? Why will you be infatuated with a woman who falls in love with your bank account? Why will you admire a woman who praises your car? Flattery is a red flag of danger. Listen to your conscience!

A true woman of God will speak the truth in love, hurts you only if you need correction and directs your heart to Jesus when you go astray. ‘Faithful are the wounds of a friend but an enemy multiplies kisses’ (PV 27:6).

Marry a woman who knows the road to life eternal, who directs others to Jesus and not to herself or to you. Marry a woman who fears the Lord! Therefore she will hate evil and what the devil will do to you.

 

Your wife should not lie at all! God hates a lying tongue. The devil is a liar! You will not want to marry a woman that God sees as a trouble maker. No matter what you and your friends say about her, it is only God’s opinion that matters. A wicked heart produces wicked words. They will kill your spirit, quench your passion for Jesus and destroy your ministry. No human being should do that to you! Your wife should not be a gossip, should not be an idle busy-body. During dating, study her mouth, her feet and her hands. What does she like to talk about? When both of you are silent, what subjects does she initiate? Where does she go every day? Who are her friends? What church does she attend? What type of preaching does she listen to? What is she doing from morning till evening? You should want to know the truth about her spirit before you join your body to hers. The foundation of marriage is very important, I’m sure that you know it!

 

Do not marry to divorce! Do not marry to please people! Do not marry for fun! Do not marry for money! Honor marriage as a gift of God! Marry as an act of obedience to God! Marry to stay married and to serve God together, all the days of your lives! Do all things to the glory of God! Then you and your children shall live long and be happy! This is God’s promise! Amen!

 

In Christ I declare:

The law of kindness is on my tongue!

I am a blessing and an encouragement to my husband!

I am a blessing and an encouragement to my wife!

I reject all evil spirits of bitterness, hot temper and lust!

I bring all my friendships and relationships to the altar of God!

Let the altar speak!

Let the fire fall!

To the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!