MARRIAGE IS A GOOD THING (28)

“As iron sharpens iron,

So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (PV 27:17)

Marriage is the best field to practice godly friendship. Wife and husband should be best friends. True friendship is a gift from God. It is an added blessing to the intimacy of marriage. Love is a sacrifice. Friendship is ministry and sacrifice too. In the scripture above there is this little secret on how to keep the marriage fresh and fruitful. God’s prescription may surprise you! It is not by roses and kisses, but by the sharp iron blows exchanged between mature, trained lovers. Yes, love is painful before it is sweet. The Cross comes always before the Crown.

In Hebrew, the word ‘sharp’ means to use an instrument, a weapon, like the ax to cut away what is damaging to the character or to the relationship of love.  Think of surgery without anesthesia. But imagine the joy to have a tumor removed and the friend to be healed. As a doctor, I have seen pain inflicted for the good of my patients. They did not appreciate it immediately, but they all came back with gratitude and health revived. The lover detects ‘a tumor’ in his friend who is ignorant of it. He has to cut it off. The blow may come unexpectedly. There may be no time for ‘public relations’. There may be no place for apologies. Kisses do not work in times like these…

Truth is like a sharp double edged sword. Love is the surgeon; it cuts and it frees. True friendship does this surgical work with patience, skill and wisdom. True friendship improves itself. True marriage grows taking strength from all the roots around, pain, joy, crisis and all.

The sharp weapon is used to affect ‘the countenance’ of the friend. The husband can use it on his wife and the other way round. This spiritual blow is done as it is needed. In Hebrew, the word countenance means face, favor, honor, purpose, presence, war or employment. These are the different levels affected by the truth spoken in love.  Once the blow is successful there shall be an increased beauty, favor, honor, a sharper focus and purpose in life. This is the work of the Holy Spirit who directed the blow. The strength to do successful spiritual warfare increases. There shall be promotion in the office as the quality of the work of your hands increases. This is a spiritual surgery that indicates victory and deliverance. Pain in not always bad! If the ax is not sharp, the worker wastes too much time in any project (Ecc 10:10). That blow to your friend will make his mind, attention, memory and spiritual sensitivity sharper than ever before. Wounded and healed, he will now speak less, and make greater impact. He will work less and make more money. He will be more discerning and wiser, choosing the best option to move on. Yes, that is the work of spiritual pain between true lovers…A couple that fights and divorces because of painful words, must be foolish or they are unbelievers. For a believer does not waste his pain.

“Let the righteous smite me, [it shall be] a kindness; And let him reprove me, [it shall be as] oil upon the head; Let not my head refuse it…” (Ps 141:5)

This scripture has greatly helped me over the years. Even before my husband became reconciled to God, I chose to look at him as a righteous man. For God assured me that he will be saved and he will be in ministry! I decided that no matter how painful his words shall be to me, I shall take that pain like medicine to increase my anointing. It worked! My tears became worship to God. Mercifully, it was not often, but when the pain came, ‘I swallowed it’ like medicine. I had no fear of bitterness. God was using all things to bless me! My trust was in God alone! As for my pain, I kept it between me and God. I solved must of my crisis thru prayers alone. I fasted and prayed until the trouble melted away. Finally, the day came when my husband surrendered his life to Christ. I did not want a religious man, but a true saved soul as a life partner! God granted my prayer! My husband became truly born again! What a day that was…We have heaven to rejoice there forever…

This is my word for you:

If you pass this road of loneliness and pain in marriage, do not be ashamed to suffer as a Christian…continue to pray…trust God… worship God… the grief is not forever…weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning… take the pain as medicine…it will not destroy your love, it will only heal your heart…God is in control…Let the pain become the aroma of Christ in you, for the world needs that rare perfume collected from the lilies of the valley… Trust me you shall not die but live and declare the mysterious and wonderful works of the Lord! You shall counsel and encourage others coming behind you! God knows His job! You are His child! It is not over until is over! There is light at the end of the tunnel!

In Christ I declare:

The pain coming from my husband (my wife) has become the oil joy to me!

My anointing has increased!

I love Jesus Christ!

My marriage is blessed!

In Jesus name

Amen!