“Just as water is turned into irrigation ditches, so the Lord directs the king’s thoughts. He turns them wherever he wants to…If anyone can control his tongue it proves that he has perfect control over himself in every other way… And a tiny rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong” (PV 21:1; Jam 3:2-4; LB)

The tongue is compared with the rudder of a ship. It is small but has the power to direct the path and destiny of the man. I am not a naval engineer. So, I’ve gathered some technical information how the rudder guides the ship. This is what I’ve found: The rudder is a very small vertical blade located underwater, at the back end of the ship. However, it can swing a huge ship around with relative ease. Without it, the pilot cannot control or steer the vessel. For example, when the pilot turns the rudder to the right, the flow of the water on the same side of the ship becomes slower. This slower movement of the water will exert less pressure on the ship compared with the fast moving current on the other side of the ship (this is called the Bernoulli’s principle of fluid dynamics). The lower pressure now works like a vacuum. It attracts the ship to move towards it. In other words, the rudder does not push the ship to any side. But it influences the currents that change the ship’s direction. The lower current pulls the ship. To better understand the power of such small equipment, listen to this: If a ship loses its rudder, it takes three or four powerful tug boats to turn a large ship.

The tongue is compared with the rudder of a great ship. This little muscle between your cheeks has the power of life and death (PV18:21). The words spoken by you will direct your whole body, or even your marriage towards life or death. No man can ‘push’ another man to change direction in life. No man can change the heart of another. No physical force, beating, shouting, manipulation or temper tantrum can truly change another man. His tongue has to be renewed and then the change will be immediate, easy and enjoyable.

In marriage relationships the tongue is very efficient, for good or for bad, to build or destroy. Most couples who come to me for counselling, they get angry at the words of one another. They respond in kind. If the husband shouts, the wife feels that is her ‘duty’ to shout back. This is the natural human response. You need supernatural methods to win the victory! If the Holy Spirit takes control of the tongue, the shout, the abusive words are met in the power of the same Spirit. Then the hearts and circumstances change.
Let’s take this scenario: the husband is an unbeliever, married to a believing wife. All is well, for some time. Nobody knows that the storm is coming. Then one evening, the husband comes home after a long day in the office, tired and frustrated with his job. His level of patience in his ‘tank’ is below ‘reserve’. He cannot control his tongue. He is not able to be kind to his wife. Something pushes him to be rude. He misplaces his anger towards the wife. Suddenly, the devil takes control of the home. The husband will find fault with his wife just because she is the most available person around. The words he wanted to say to his boss will come to her like fiery darts from hell. His anger makes no sense. Sin is not reasonable. For a minute, the husband will vent his frustration on the poor woman. His words are like a flood of water. If the wife is not a mature believer, she will panic and the sudden wave will destabilize her ‘ship’ (her heart). But if she is an experienced spiritual ‘pilot’, she will manage the crisis well. She will remain calm, praying in the Spirit, hand on the steering that turns the rudder and eyes fixed on Jesus. She will be able to turn her ship in such a way that the flood will not damage her heart. She will be able to prudently overlook his sin, forgive him and still continue to love him, ‘like nothing has happened’. Not only that but she will take advantage of the speed of the tsunami wave and make fast progress ahead. After the storm dies down, the (foolish) husband will have no other option than to give glory to God for his loving wife. He has to admire her grace, poise, patience and love and repent of his sin. He sees Christ in her. He will now desire to change.

I said that I am not a naval engineer. But maybe I am one. I am also a pilot and a weather consultant. Of course, spiritually! I have applied this principles many times. They work! He that controls his tongue in times of provocation will escape spiritual personal damage and will direct the marriage to better ‘waters’. After the ‘rough weather’ in the home, the Master of the Sea speaks: ‘Peace, be still!’ His word never fails! I have spoken this Word so many times that all my walls and even my ceiling are witnesses to it. No devil can resist God’s Word! Then the sun shines again! The danger is averted! Progress in marriage is sure! The worship continues! True love never fails!

Dear Brethren, this is my word to you: Do not be afraid of difficult circumstances of poisonous words! The sea changes from season to season! You cannot expect to be a mature pilot that other will trust, without passing thru some rough waters in life! But you don’t have to sink! No matter the attack, you don’t have to do mistakes that will damage your ship! You do not have to end up with a broken heart before 12 midnight! The Word of God and His Spirit have enough power to make you a champion! In Christ, you are able to make the best out of every negative situation. That is why I do not fear men or their words! I do not fear the devil, slander, divorce, sickness or untimely death! That is why I fear God! That is why I enjoy God and my marriage! That is why I have peace!
Praise His Holy Name!

In Christ I declare:
All things work together for good for me and my marriage!
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me!
I forbid divorce!
With my words, I direct my marriage towards righteousness peace and joy in the Holy Ghost!
I am a mature believer!
To the glory of God!
In Jesus name
Amen!