‘Two are better than one. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up…

Take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go” (Ecc 4:9, 10; Jam 3:4; NIV)

As we have seen, the tongue is compared with the rudder of a ship. It is small but has the power to direct the path and destiny of the man. Without the rudder, the pilot cannot control or steer the vessel. The rudder does not push the ship to any side. But it influences the current of water that eventually changes the ship’s direction.

In marriage the use of the tongue is very important. Ideally, it directs ‘the marriage ship’ towards God’s plan for the couple. But an irresponsible or immature pilot may end up having a shipwreck. It is easy to end in divorce. Just be careless with your tongue. That is the natural path of man. It takes God to make it work! The couple has to learn how to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

God has decreed in His Word that the husband is the captain and the wife is the co-pilot. There are no two captains. Only one! But both need to be equally trained and qualified as ‘naval pilots’. The husband and the wife take turns in piloting the ship. These shifts are necessary so that when one works, the other can rest. This is divine wisdom, to conserve energy for the long journey called marriage. In case of emergency, they are both awake and alert, exchanging ideas how to overcome the problem. The wife proposes the most useful strategies, with their pros and cons. The husband makes the final decision. The wife then submits and totally co-operates with his choice of method. There should be no competition and no strife between the two of them. Both the role of the husband as the leader of the home, and the wife in active intelligent submissive and co-operation, is for the common good.

This is a possible scenario of a marriage crisis:

The marriage ship is quietly going ahead. The husband rests and the wife is on duty, piloting the ship. Suddenly she sees a fancy boat coming towards them.  It is the devil, coming from the left side of the ship with a private speed boat. He calls her for an exciting cruise of only an hour.  As the pilot in charge, she knows her duty: she is to warn the strange boat with a loud horn sound. But for a moment, she forgets her responsibility. Suddenly the sea looks bluer and the young captain with his designer shiny boat seems so friendly. She starts thinking that her work in the ship is too tedious and boring. ‘A cruise will be good’…she finds herself thinking. She decides to go to the stranger. While her husband is sleeping, she drops the ladder on the left side of the ship. Shaking with excitement she starts going down. But her foot slips and she falls into the sea. The stranger laughs and runs away, leaving her there struggling for her life. The ship is too high for her to go back unnoticed. Without help, she may die.

Her husband wakes up from sleep and looking at the camera, discovers that the ship is abandoned. He runs to look for his wife. She is now just a dot on the sea, still fighting for her life. He now turns the rudder towards her direction. The ship called marriage now becomes her salvation. At just the right time, he leaves the ship on the automatic pilot and jumps into the wild sea. He grabs his wife just in time. He brings her back to their ship. The worship continues….

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This is my testimony:

As a wife and co-pilot, I had to learn to apply daily the spiritual principles of life I found in the Bible. I also had to learn to try new creative things, under the training of Elohim, God the Creator. Marriage and ministry cannot succeed using only ‘common sense’. In our case, we come from very different backgrounds, from different cultures and continents. My husband ‘common sense’ is different one than mine. What seem normal to him are things I dislike, and the other way round. Using the path of common sense, we could have shipwrecked our marriage long ago. Thank God for Jesus and His Salvation. We are now both saved and mature believers. We are both trained and lead by the Holy Spirit. Each of us carries the responsibility and the burden for the success of our lives, marriage, children and ministry. If one falls into the sea, the other knows how to move the rudder in his (her) direction and come closer to save the victim. We both do this work as it is necessary. Each successful intercession strengthens our desire to continue the journey and the give glory to God.

This is one of our ‘secrets’ as a married couple, why we are successful: we have indeed discovered Christ in each other. Our spiritual foundation is strong! If I can give you one advice it is this: Marriage is work! Marriage cannot survive with a just a beautiful parlor, a pretty face and relaxing instrumentals in the background. Marriage has enemies! The devil targets the marriage and like a wicked pirate, he is ready to kidnap and kill. Both my husband and I we are trained in the art of spiritual warfare. We trust one another because we have found Christ in one another. We have learned our lessons in a painful way and none wants to repeat the mistakes again. There is no room for betrayal anymore.

Lessons from Hosea and Gomer

Captain Prophet Hosea has much to teach us when it comes to bring back a wayward co-pilot. Read his book in the Bible. He has learned to use kind but honest words that can save the most wretched wife. He knows that using the tongue to injure the stubborn beloved will only increase the overall damage. God kept Gomer alive in the raging sea; he will not ‘shoot’ her with his tongue. After all, as captain, he has to give an account for his staff, dead or alive.

Hosea prepared his speech to meet his runaway wife: “I will speak tenderly to her…” (Hos 2:14)

The word ‘tenderly’ means to speak from the point of pain, from a broken heart that even God honors. It means to speak words that are easy to ‘digest’. No PHD oratory and no grammar here!  Just pure love found at the foot of Calvary Cross. Kind words in time of provocation can bring peace to the restless and save a drowning soul. The Holy Spirit shall supply them. You have to speak them.

This is my encouragement to you: Marriage is a good thing indeed!

In Christ I declare:

In all crises, I speak kind words of life supplied by the Holy Spirit!

My life is good, but it will become better!

My marriage is good, but it will become better!

My ministry is good, but it will become better!

I am healed! I am delivered! I am free!

To the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!