(1Sam 18:1-9; 19:1-5; 20:14-17, 41, 42; 23:14-18; 23,25, 26; 2Sam 9:1-3,11)

Today, we shall study a very special love story. The relationship between David and Jonathan is a beautiful picture of agape love. Rubies are rare to find; so true friends manifesting agape love are not common. We are commanded to seek perfection, to desire spiritual maturity. Listen to the great Apostle Paul: “Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you” (2Cor 13:11; NLT). The relationship between David and Jonathan is a wonderful case study of mature spiritual love between two sinners saved by grace. It is a platonic and covenantal relationship of Agape Love.

PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP

A platonic relationship is one in which two people share a close bond of love and friendship but do not have a sexual relationship. This concept originates in the ideas of the ancient philosopher Plato, from whose name the term is derived. This term applies to both opposite-sex and same-sex friendships. Both Platonic love and Romantic love are deep friendships. The difference is that platonic love does not have physical or sexual intimacy. In a platonic relationship two people are close friends, honest with one another, accept, encourage, respect and understand each other. They sincerely care for one another. They help in good times and bad times. They do not manipulate one another. They generally have the same interests. This type of friendship is rare but very special. The relationship is purely spiritual and not physical. A mentorship bond can be a profound platonic relationship. The mentor provides guidance, advice, and support, while the mentee learns and grows. This relationship is rooted in mutual respect, trust, and shared goals without romantic undertones. Activities are not the only area you can connect with someone. Having deep spiritual discussions is an excellent way to build a platonic relationship.  

COVENANTAL RELATIONSHIP

The word ‘covenant’ comes from the Latin word ‘con venire’ meaning ‘coming together’. It is defined as a formal, solemn, binding promise and agreement between countries or people. It is a pledge to remain lifelong friends. Marriage is a covenantal relationship for life. For example, Abimelech and Isaac, Joshua and the Gibeonites, made covenants to live in peace with each other (Gen 26:28-31; Josh 9:15). God is the Witness of the covenant. The covenant could not be broken. If broken, there shall be consequences. God Himself is the Covenant Maker and Keeper. If God has said it, He will do it! Period!!! “God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent.

Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?” (Nu 23:19). Covenants between people are bilateral. The covenant God makes with men is unilateral. God initiated, determined the elements, and confirmed His covenant with humanity. People are recipients, not contributors; they are called to accept it as offered, keep it as demanded, and receive the results that God, by oath, assures will not be withheld. Lesson: For Christ’ sake, we must keep our promises and pledges!

Jonathan, son of King Saul, and David, a shepherd who would become king, formed a deep bond of friendship unto death. They pledged to help each other’s descendants. Despite his father’s hatred for David, Jonathan stood by his friend, even risking his own life to save him. Their friendship was marked by mutual respect, loyalty, understanding, sacrifice and selflessness, all key aspects of true love. Jonathan’s willingness to give up his right to the throne for David shows a selfless love that puts the other person’s needs above one’s own. In the covenant agreement between these two men, Jonathan will be second in command in David’s future reign, and David will protect Jonathan’s family when he will be king. This story reminds us that true love is not limited to romantic relationships. A Christian marriage is a covenant relationship unto death, for Christ’ sake. Lesson: Ideally, the husband and wife should be not only lovers, but true friends to one another. May God help us!

Some said that the relationship between David and Jonathan was homosexual. This interpretation is wrong for at least three reasons:

1-The word ‘love’ here is not connected with romance or sexual attraction. It is the same word that is used to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. ”The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1Sam 18:1).

2-When Jonathan died, David lamented and said: “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; You have been very pleasant to me; Your love to me was wonderful, Surpassing the love of women” (2Sam 1:26). It seems that David was talking about Jonathan’s sisters. King Saul promised to give David his daughter in marriage if he killed Goliath. But he deceived David. He promised his daughter Merab, but he suddenly gave her to another man. David married Saul’s younger daughter, Michal, but she was not a spiritual woman. But David’s relationship with Jonathan was true, pure, and unconditional from beginning to the end.

3-The Bible clearly denounces homosexuality as sin. “If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them” (Lev 20:13). David was a man after God’s heart. He could not have lived in a homosexual relationship for so many years and God will keep silent!

A friend is one you love, trust, who knows you well, who helps you, guides you, prays for you, but is not a member of your family. David and Jonathan were good friends to the end of their lives. This is an example of true Biblical friendship. It involves spirituality, sacrifice, submission, loyalty, respect, and emotional attachment. Jonathan was spiritually sensitive. He saw that David shall be the next king. He was not jealous like his father. He submitted to God’s will. Jonathan gave David his robe, sword and armor as a gift. This is a sign of submission to the anointing he recognized on David. We do not know if at that time Jonathan knew that David was anointed as the new king of Israel. But we assume that he knew that God has rejected his father as king. Here we see that jealousy and selfishness have no place in a true friendship. By giving David his robe Jonathan gave David his position. By giving David his sword, he gave up his protection. He recognizes David as his protector, his king. In other words, he said: ‘If David did not come to save me, Goliath could have killed me. I owe my very life to David. He is my savior…’ David and Jonathan wept together when they had to part ways. They were honest with their emotions. They were real men, real friends. Do you have such a friend?

LESSONS:

*True agape love is greater than the natural limitations. Jonathan was older than David in age. David was a shepherd; Jonathan was a prince. Jonathan had his own armor; David had a harp and a slingshot. Jonathan grew up in the palace and was trained in the art of war; David grew up in the “little town of Bethlehem” and was trained to tend sheep. Jonathan was the oldest son and in line to inherit the throne; David was the youngest of eight boys and anointed the next king in place of Jonathan. Jonathan was of the tribe of Benjamin, David of the tribe of Judah. Despite their differences, Jonathan and David were the best friends the world has ever known.

*True agape love blooms when people have common interests. Both David and Jonathan were men of faith, and brave soldiers protecting God’s people. David killed Goliath. But Jonathan was a war hero too. Before this famous battle with Goliath, Jonathan, alone and his armor bearer, killed 20 Philistines causing confusion and panic in the enemy camp, allowing Saul’s soldiers to defeat them (1 Sam 14:1-23). 

*Agape love friendship is a gift from God. As God helps a man to find a wife, so also God helps us to find good spiritual friends. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (PV 17:17). “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (PV 18:24). Apostle Paul was a friend to Timothy and others. He invested his life in them. “But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. 8 So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us” (1Thess 2:7,8). Jonathan stayed faithful to David until he died. David stayed faithful to Jonathan even after Joathan died. He took care of his son. Mephibosheth was like his son.

*A true friend helps you to find strength in God. “Then Jonathan, Saul’s son, arose and went to David in the woods and strengthened his hand in God. 17 And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Even my father Saul knows that” (1 Sam 23:16, 17). Look for that spiritual quality in friends. “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray” (PV12:26). Choose friends who help you find strength in God. The value of a friend is beyond rubies. ‘Be slow in choosing a friend. Be slower in changing a friend’ (Benjamin Franklin). A true friend will tell you the truth in times of prosperity and help you with his heart and hand when you face difficulties. True friends will push you closer to God!

*Friendship and agape love must be jealously protected. It is possible to forsake your first love (Rev 2:4). That is a danger you must be aware of. The devil will try to damage your friendship or your marriage. The only sad spot in this beautiful story is when Jonathan chooses to leave David in the wilderness, and goes back to the palace, to his father, King Saul. When you read about David’s mighty men of valor, you read of Eleazer, Shammah, Benaiah… but you do not read of Jonathan, the son of Saul. He should have stayed with David. But Jonathan went back to the palace. He joined his father in the battle against the Philistines. He was in the wrong battle, following the wrong king. He died there… he is the prince who never became king. David wept and said: “The beauty of Israel is slain on your high places! How the mighty have fallen!” (2Sam 1:19). And David took the fallen crown and became the new king, according to God’s will. Selah!

*In the Bible, a friend is one who knows your soul! A friend is not just a person who you share hobbies with. A friend is someone who knows the real you, who understands what goes on inside you. The Hebrew word for Friend (‘sod’) is similar with the word translated ‘secrets’. A friend is someone who knows your secrets. Lesson: You need to learn how to open your heart to God, to your spouse and to godly friends. “I am asking you to respond as if you were my own children. Open your hearts to us!” (2Cor 6:13). That means to be vulnerable, honest, transparent. This lifestyle is not easy. But you cannot become successful as a Christian without being a friend to God, to Jesus, and to others. Even in a marriage, sex is not what makes husband and wife best friends. Revelation of God’s Word is!!!

*The greatest Lover and Friend is Jesus! A true friend loves his neighbor as himself. Jonathan and David loved one another. Their story is inspiring. But the greatest Love of all is the Love of Jesus. Jesus is that faithful Friend not only unto death, but unto eternity. Agape Love is a command. Love manifests as obedience to God’s commands. Before He went to the Cross, Jesus said to His disciples: “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. 12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. 17 These things I command you, that you love one another” (Jn 15:9-17). Jesus died to make us friends with God! Oh, how I love Jesus, because He first loved me!

Today, most people do not know what true friendship is. They are friends only on social media. They talk to one another on Facebook, but they do not know each other personally. Also, most people tend to put all their hopes only in romantic relationships, like marriage. The story of David and Jonathan expands our vision of what agape love can be. David loved Jonathan so much that he openly wept when Jonathan died. It was more than a relationship of convenience. Love was involved. This is strange for us today but in that culture, it was common. May we desire to love more, to love better! Great friendship requires commitment and involves risk. Commitment will be tested. As a friend you need to make sacrifices. Can you go out of your comfort zone and help your friend when he is in need? In all great friendships you need God. Great friendships reflect the great agape love of God! Worship the Lord!