‘Good morning Malia… I’m worried about something; I hear this from a lot of people. So I want to hear God’s opinion… it’s true that as man or woman we are not destined for a particular man or woman in marriage…I am a child of God’
Why are you worried?
‘God has not given us the evil spirit of fear (worry) but of power, love and sound mind’ (2Tim 1:7).
This is a spiritual law: Any topic, any discussion, any book, any idea…that attacks your peace (with God, with yourself, with others) is of the devil and it should be rejected 100%.
Marriage is not essential for salvation so it is not as important as being pre-destined to be saved. After salvation, we are to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in a process called sanctification. By obeying the truth the flesh dies and the spirit rises to live. It is a painful process but necessary to spiritual maturity. Along the way, the believer may choose to marry. His motives may still be carnal in the choice of a wife. But no matter what, all things shall still work together for good for them that love God and are called according to His greater purpose to know and serve Him forever.
The choice of a life partner is connected with the level of faith too. Some people are ‘barely’ saved and have a very low view of marriage. Leave them alone. Connect with wise people who cultivate a spirit of excellency, are wise, patient and loving.
‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you your very heart desire (not another’s)’ (Ps 37:4).
My personal testimony is this: I have no doubt at all that my husband and me, we were destined to be saved, to get married and together to work for the Lord in full time ministry.
To God be all the glory!
I wish you well!
Have faith in God!
May God’s perfect will be done in your life, in Jesus name, amen!
Green Pastures 
Dear Silvia Leigh,
Interesting Post, I am moving out and my condo will be ready this Friday. The thing is, my mother is on vacation for 4 months and she returns on December 5th. We never had the most healthy relationship.. I spent a lot of my childhood being neglected and whatnot. But thankfully, I grew up into a mature and sensible young woman. Even though she neglected me emotionally, I feel that living here at home I have absolutely no responsibility. And this is not good, at all. I want to learn to be responsible. The only thing I pay for is my $30/month phone bill. Nothing else. I do have a job, I work full-time so I can definitely afford to live alone. I will be moving in with a long time best friend of mine, the rent is $600 each a month. Which I can afford. I’ve though about this long and hard. I just need to tell my mother. I am a little nervous and anxious because my mom is a very dramatic scary person. I do not like drama but my mom will stir it up anywhere. I thought telling her over the phone when she called today would be the perfect idea because she is far away, and won’t have the chance to bring me down and hurt me. But than I choked up because she sounded happy to hear from me and excited to come back to see me and the family. I think maybe she will call again and I will try to tell her than, if not maybe in eprson. I know I want to do this, I need and have to do this for my own. It is my own life, I am 19, and turning 20 in January. I need this to grow as a young adult, learn to budget, be responsible and take care of myself. I just don’t want her negativity and her to discourage me which is what she is good at doing.
Any advice? Should I just write her a letter? Tell her on the phone? Or in person? Whatever is the best emotionally safe option for me, because my mom is great at knocking down my self-esteem. I do love my mother, because she is my mom but living with her is not healthy. I have no real freedom, I can’t go out and have fun with friends (ps I rarely party) without her being nasty to me about it, I can’t do anything without being criticized and I am sick of it. My family knows but my mother, that I moving out.
Catch you again soon!
Dear Marriage Girl,
I am sure that writing this letter has made you feel better. I am a mother of three adult ‘children’ and a grandmother of five.
You are in a transition time. You will never be 19 again. Your childhood fades away and you are now a woman of God. This is what you have prayed for. You are now walking in the path of answered prayers.
Ideally, your mum should change with you, becoming a spiritual mentor more and more. If she can’t do that, she will ‘lose’ you. That is the sad pain many relatiosnhip pass thru. They do not pay the price to change, to mature together. That is why there are many divorce also. God invented parents because He is a Father. Parents ideally should represent God to their children.
I personally prayed that I should forget about the way I change my children’s pampers. It was not an easy prayer because it was part of our history together. But then, I knnew that with time, my children will need me less as a natural mother. That they need a pastor, a mentor, an life time inspiration to be better people. I could only achieve this miracle thru faith in Christ. He told His disciples that it is BETTER for them if He goes away…that their (mostly) natural relatiosnhip will become spiritual, eternal and joyfull (Jn 16:7). I did what Jesus did with His ‘children’. My relatioship with my own children has changed into something beautiful and a ministry of encouragment to many more.
Keep in touch…Love in Christ alone, Malia (my children call me Malia)