‘Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion; is a fair woman stubborn of behavior…is a beautiful face on an empty head’ (PV 11:22)
This proverb describes how ugly it is to combine physical beauty, which is a gift from God, with bad character, which is our own choice. A beautiful but foolish woman is like a decorated pig lying in the mud. This woman may be religious but she lacks wisdom or even common sense. She does not have understanding of what is right or wrong. She confuses God with the devil. The word ‘discretion’ means to have good judgment on how to behave and what to say. Speech betrays a fool more than any other activity. Discretion also means to be modest, not forward, bold or rude. It means to show respect to others, not to unnecessarily offend their feelings thru speech or mode of dressing. Discretion is related to prudence, the wisdom to understand the consequences of your actions and to avoid danger in the future. A woman who shows discretion is not afraid to stay ‘silent in the background’ and speak only when there is an ‘open door’ from the Holy Spirit. There is something called ‘prudent silence’ when words are not necessary or even dangerous. A woman, who often does mistakes in behavior or speech and constantly has to apologize for them, is not prudent. She may fall into unnecessary trouble. Selah! But the person who is able to control the tongue has the whole body under control (Jam 3:2). Lack of self-control is very ugly. Even your ‘body language’ has to give glory to God.
There are two opposite women in the Bible; both were queens and married the same man. One was foolish and another wise. I am speaking about Vashti and Esther. The first was not prudent. She started the day with a party; she ended it outside the palace. She did not see the danger of divorce and of losing her crown as a result of just ‘a little disobedience’ to her husband. If she knew that her life will end in disgrace, she could have happily obeyed the king’s command. But Queen Esther, who replaced her, is the very opposite. She saw the danger of her people perishing. She fasted and prayed. She did not take the favor of God for granted. She did what she could to save the people of God. She is known as a godly queen and a prudent woman of God, an example and an inspiration too many, to the end of the ages.
“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a wise [insightful] wife is a gift from the Lord” (PV 19:14). An excellent, prudent wife cannot be bought with money. She is a gift of grace to a man who will appreciate her. In the area of marriage, the rich are not better than the poor. What is most important is that Jesus Christ is the Lord of the home. Even the wealthy parents cannot provide their sons with gracious, wonderful, wise and faithful wives. But they can pray that such a gift may find their address.
I speak from experience here… Spiritual wisdom is not an easy or cheap virtue. It took me many years to learn how to control my tongue in a way that will always glorify God. I wept often and I prayed hard for wisdom, prudence, discernment of spirits and self-control. I asked God to help me not to be ashamed or have reasons to regret my speech, my choices or my actions. I prayed that I will never be a liability to my husband and that he will never be tempted to regret marrying me. I refused to take our marriage for granted. I prayed to learn how to gain his trust by making wise choices as a wife and mother. I prayed that our children will not be ashamed of their mum. Please note that no unbeliever can ever do that. Their tongue is energized by demons and is ‘on fire from hell’. Even for a believer it is a long process, very difficult and painful. You have to passionately desire to change the way you talk, the way you communicate. You have to be ready to pay the price for that change, however big it is. But the reward is very great. God will bless you with an ever increasing anointing and He will use you in ministry to teach, challenge and encourage many. May Christ be glorified in you!
In Christ I declare:
I am a woman of God!
I desire a godly marriage!
My children shall all marry well!
I desire the beauty of holiness!
Christ is my wisdom!
Jesus Christ is the Lord of my home!
In Jesus name