“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion” (PV 11:22)


In Hebrew, the word ‘beautiful’ describes someone very attractive, bright, educated and well dressed. So what can be wrong with that? Nothing, if the woman is also ‘discreet’. In the absence of discretion, the beauty will be useless and even dangerous. The word ‘discretion’ means to be wise, to be spiritual, to discern between good and evil, to understand the spiritual root of life’s problems, to have good judgment and to avoid danger or deception. To be discreet it means to be reasonable, to be a good listener, attentive and sensitive to other people’s rights and feelings. It means to make responsible decisions when she is alone alone, but still submitting to the boundaries set by her husband. It means to be humble, modest in speech and appearance, with no desire to be the ‘center of attraction’. It means to be decent, not loud, rude of aggressive. It means to be wise and not foolish.


So, this beautiful woman without discretion, how will she behave? How ca you identify her, so that you can wisely reject her as a marriage proposal? She may be beautiful outwardly. She may be skilled in fashion and hair does. She may be educated, gifted, singing, dancing and talking. But she has no fruit of the Holy Spirit in her! She is extravagant and wasteful. Any woman who cannot ‘manage small money’ cannot be a good wife and mother. She is selfish and does not care about the rights or feelings of others. She makes enemies easily. She is not attentive. She forgets the good lessons you teach her, making unnecessary mistakes. You never know what to expect from her. She has a great potential of disappointing your trust in her. She is hard working in things that do not matter, even to the point of becoming a busy body. But she is lazy and negligent with the eternal spiritual things and the serious things of life. A woman without discretion is foolish. No matter how much you love her and invest in her, she will disappoint your hopes at last.


Not all that glitter is gold, they say…Not all women are wives…Not all beautiful women are mothers…Not all religious women are saved…Marriage is too important to make a decision based on appearances. Do not marry a woman who cannot function successfully without your direct supervision. For she is not a daughter you train and you cannot be with her always. Please do not ever consider to marry a foolish woman! Do not marry a woman that you cannot trust with your secret heart and destiny. It is better to wait and pray. The right one shall come. You need to pray and seek to marry a woman approved by God, spiritually mature, your very rib and the friend of your soul. Do not compromise in the area of marriage! If in doubt, do not proceed. Pray until all hindrances are removed and God gives you total peace. Then, and only then, let the wedding bells ring…


“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents but a prudent wife is (surely) from the Lord” (PV 19:14)

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