“Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe” (1Cor 1:20, 21)
I still remember the process by which the Holy Spirit arrested me and brought me on my knees at the Cross of Calvary. This is my testimony. I am an educated and intelligent woman. I was an unbeliever until 1986. This is what I said to many people: ‘I do not believe in God. I believe in myself’. Of course now I know that this is the definition of a fool. But then, I thought it was the height of wisdom. How deceived I was…
I just assumed that because I am intelligent and educated, I am also wise. That was another mistake. I was telling people that I am not interested in religion, because it is a false ‘science’. I also said that if one day I will put my mind to study the Bible, to discover who God is, that I can easily do it. I trusted myself. How wrong I was. In January 1986 I just made up my mind to discover God by myself. I even read a little of the Bible, ‘trying to do God a favor’. I suddenly discovered that I could make no progress at all. To me it was like a book written in Chinese.
I tried to reason the whole story of God and could not do it. I tried to ‘crack the nut’ of the Gospel but I could not do it. It seems so simple, yet I could not understand it. I became very frustrated. I looked like a fool. I hated that. Nobody called me a fool. I am a doctor. People respect me and my profession… Then why can’t I discover who God is? I felt like shouting in anger. But does shouting help? This is what was in my mind daily fighting with myself, or better said fighting with God.
Mercifully, God cornered my soul and arrested my heart. I felt like dying. I regretted the day I decided to ‘study’ God. I had to declare defeat. There was no other way. God embraced me. I knelt down and prayed my first prayer. It was the sinner’s prayer, for sure. I wept for forgiveness and mercy. I begged for the gift of faith and eternal life. I was not sure if God hears me but I tried my best to press on. Suddenly peace came into my heart like I have never known before. I became a born again child of God and filled with the Holy Spirit. Me, the fool, I discovered the wisdom of God in Christ Jesus! Since then my life is never the same! Glory to God!