‘I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace’ (Eph 4:1-3)

Paul wrote this letter from a cold dirty cell in the prison in Rome. He was isolated from other people. He longs for the fellowship of the brethren. He tells us about the power of the unity of the Spirit that make relationships to last forever. This advice applies to all friendships in general, and to marriages in particular.

We are on a short visit in the US. Many are confused about marriage. They want to be independent and married in the same time. This is more so here in America. They worship the idol of independence until they become isolated, lonely, confused and sad. To be independent it means to be free from the control, authority or influence of another. It means to be free from the help or resources of another person. This may sound good to some but this attitude is spiritual poison in marriage.

The wives fear submission thinking that they lose their ‘personalities’ as single independent and successful women. The husbands fear to love their wives ‘too much’. This fear keeps all of them on parallel lines never merging into one. Houston is a very busy city. I have seen how the husbands and the wives, each driving their own cars, they roll down the windows and greet in the traffic. They text one another or talk on the phone from the ‘privacy’ of their own cars. Each one laughs or weeps alone. The cars are very many and very beautiful. But there are so few human beings on the streets, talking face to face or hugging each other. This division and separation between people makes them vulnerable and foolish. The devil keeps them ‘independent’ and happy. But this happiness is not deep and does not last.

Marriage is a blessing because it is designed by God who created us. That alone must be the reason why marriage must be happy and fulfilled. It is my opinion that many men and women desire a happy marriage but are confused about the way to achieve that. They are not willing to pay the price for the joy of fulfillment as husbands and wives. Time does not improve matters. Older men and women accept the idea that mid life crisis means adultery and divorce. They say it is normal to abuse and cheat. This is a sad story I see…

This is our testimony… When my heart is overwhelmed with the cares of life and the anxiety of success, when the burden of men and women around me is too much for me to help, I abandon everything and I run… I hide in the everlasting arms of my God. This is the secret of my joy in this world. This is the key of my peace in my marriage. I submit to my husband not only when I feel like or when things are ‘sweet’. I submit to him even when he is tired or angry. Life is generally stressful but both of us have learned to keep the unity of the Spirit no matter the pressure from outside or the frustration from inside. We enter the tunnel of trial together and come out at the other side still one, even closer and stronger. The darkness tries to separate us but we have learned to stay together if we understand the attack or not.

The unity of the Spirit is the most important treasure we have in the marriage. If that is broken, we cannot be happy even if we have children, money or success. That is why we treasure this spiritual unity and are very jealous to protect it. We are directly responsible to God to keep it intact and fruitful. We have to answer to the One who put us together as husband and wife! We have learned to understand one another, to respect and protect each other. We have learned to be patient and gentle, strong and humble with each other. We eagerly and seriously try to keep and maintain this unity in the bond of peace! We do not want to be ‘independent’ and married. We want to be one! We want to be happily married and give glory to God in all we say or do! This is not just our wish for the future but our present living and holy testimony! To a God be all the glory! And that is all that matters!


5 comments on “THE UNITY OF THE SPIRIT

  1. Karen Delgado says:

    I live in the US and hope to be in Warri later this month, Lord willing. I stumbled upon your blogs recently as I searched for “good things about Nigeria”. If the door remains open, I hope to be worshipping with you before month’s end. Please pray with me/for me. As you can imagine, my family is concerned for my safety.

    I continue to seek God in each decision I make. Praying for discernment. The delivery of 8 blogs delivered to my inbox in one day was certainly a blessing.

    Your observations on American behavior was interesting. I read it to a few family members. How sad to realize that in so many ways—marriage in particular, American Christians have chosen to follow popular opinion rather than God’s design for marriage. (I’ve read several of your blogs—so not only referring to what you write here).

    If God wills, I look forward to meeting you face to face.

    Sent from my iPhone


    • Silvia Leigh says:

      Have faith in God that your trip will be successful and joyful. God is greater than all your fears. You shall go back to the US with a new testimony. May God touch you in a special way as you come to Nigeria! In Jesus name, Amen!

      • Karen Delgado says:

        I am sad to share I will not be coming. My grown children challenged me from the book of Proverbs that I had not followed wise decision making principles in the planning of my solo trip. They are concerned for not only my personal safety, but my emotional safety as well. I am a widow. I had planned this trip without any pastoral counseling or godly counsel from anyone–other than the person/family I was coming to visit. Please pray for those in Nigeria who are extremely disappointed. So difficult to discern. Two groups of people on opposite sides of the world praying for opposite decisions. My children and parents know me best. Their respectful and godly counsel must be considered. Nevertheless, I am disappointed. I will continue to receive your excellent blogs.

  2. Silvia Leigh says:

    Make peace with yourself! Forgive yourself! You are not perfect! Trust God who has the right to over-rule our mistakes. Continue to serve God wherever you are! God’s time is the best! God bless you Karen!

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