“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Pet 3:7; NKJ)

This may surprise you: Prayers can be hindered in the most unexpected places. I am talking about the area of marriage. Dear husband, if you want that your prayers should always be fast and free, you must pay the price to understand your wife. Spirituality is connected with marriage. God made that connection. You cannot separate them. I am not saying that you should study to understand all the women in Nigeria. I am saying that it is your duty to understand your own wife, especially her weaknesses, if you want an uninterrupted access to God.

I am a woman. I am a wife. I will share with you some of the women’s weaknesses. Let me say it this way: these are some of our weaknesses as women: We are too emotional. We act on impulse. Men think and make plans. We follow our ‘hearts’. Therefore we make more mistakes. We easily feel guilty. We defend ourselves too much. We talk too much. We weep too much. We are too anxious. We are over-forgiving. We forgive our enemies and they betray us again. We are too romantic and we expect our husbands to compete with the movie actors. Our hopes for our marriages are too high. We often talk ignorantly and childishly when we want to sound intelligent. We are easily distracted. It is hard to stay focused. We are too generous. We give too much and we suffer later. We are too self-conscious, especially with the shape and weight of our bodies. We are overly concerned with our clothes and the way we look in the mirror. We are easily jealous when we see others who look more beautiful … These are not things we are proud of. These are our spiritual weaknesses.

What does the Bible say? The husband must not be ignorant about these weaknesses. He must accommodate and help the wife to become a woman of God. It takes many years of painful prayers and patient counsel before the husband is strong enough not to be embarrassed by (what he considers to be) the childish behavior of his wife. It also takes many years of walking with the Lord before the wife is confident enough in her own ‘skin’ and become the woman God wants her to be.

This is our testimony: My husband and I we are married for 43 years. We have passed under many ‘bridges’ of difficulty in our relationship. We are from very different backgrounds. I cried many tears in frustration that my husband does not understand my pain. But he prayed for me. He interceded for me until the Holy Spirit helped him to love me with understanding. This is a great achievement for both of us. That is why our marriage is sweet and strong. I can confidently say this, to the glory of God: my husband understands me!!! I do not have to pretend to be another woman or to be a better version of myself. I can be myself. I can relax and make mistakes. I was slim when we got married. I am not slim anymore. But I am secure in his love and understanding. We grow together in the grace and in the knowledge of the Lord. We are a team! Our prayers are not hindered and our marriage is sweet and strong. My heart is filled with thanksgiving! May you tap from this anointing! To God be all the glory!