“But God said to him: ‘…Listen to whatever Sarah tells you…” (Gen 21:12)

“The man is the head of the home. This is true! But any man who makes serious life changing decisions without consulting his wife, is a fool” (S. Marquedant)

‘Two are better than one. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up…

Take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go” (Ecc 4:9, 10; Jam 3:4; NIV)

As we have seen, the tongue is compared with the rudder of a ship. It is small but has the power to direct the path and destiny of the man. Without the rudder, the pilot cannot control or steer the vessel. The rudder does not push the ship to any side. But it influences the current of water that eventually changes the ship’s direction.

In marriage the use of the tongue is very important. Ideally, it directs ‘the marriage ship’ towards God’s plan for the couple. But an irresponsible or immature pilot may end up having a shipwreck. It is easy to end in divorce. Just be careless with your tongue. That is the natural path of man. It takes God to make it work! The couple has to learn how to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

God has decreed in His Word that the husband is the captain and the wife is the co-pilot. There are no two captains. Only one! But both need to be equally trained and qualified as ‘naval pilots’. The husband and the wife take turns in piloting the ship. These shifts are necessary so that when one works, the other can rest. This is divine wisdom, to conserve energy for the long journey called marriage. In case of emergency, they are both awake and alert, exchanging ideas how to overcome the problem. The wife proposes the most useful strategies, with their pros and cons. The husband makes the final decision. The wife then submits and totally co-operates with his choice of method. There should be no competition and no strife between the two of them. Both the role of the husband as the leader of the home, and the wife in active intelligent submissive and co-operation, is for the common good.

This is a possible scenario of a marriage crisis:

The marriage ship is quietly going ahead. The husband rests and the wife is on duty, piloting the ship. Suddenly she sees a fancy boat coming towards them.  It is the devil, coming from the left side of the ship with a private speed boat. He calls her for an exciting cruise of only an hour.  As the pilot in charge, she knows her duty: she is to warn the strange boat with a loud horn sound. But for a moment, she forgets her responsibility. Suddenly the sea looks bluer and the young captain with his designer shiny boat seems so friendly. She starts thinking that her work in the ship is too tedious and boring. ‘A cruise will be good’…she finds herself thinking. She decides to go to the stranger. While her husband is sleeping, she drops the ladder on the left side of the ship. Shaking with excitement she starts going down. But her foot slips and she falls into the sea. The stranger laughs and runs away, leaving her there struggling for her life. The ship is too high for her to go back unnoticed. Without help, she may die.

Her husband wakes up from sleep and looking at the camera, discovers that the ship is abandoned. He runs to look for his wife. She is now just a dot on the sea, still fighting for her life. He now turns the rudder towards her direction. The ship called marriage now becomes her salvation. At just the right time, he leaves the ship on the automatic pilot and jumps into the wild sea. He grabs his wife just in time. He brings her back to their ship. The worship continues….

.

This is my testimony:

As a wife and co-pilot, I had to learn to apply daily the spiritual principles of life I found in the Bible. I also had to learn to try new creative things, under the training of Elohim, God the Creator. Marriage and ministry cannot succeed using only ‘common sense’. In our case, we come from very different backgrounds, from different cultures and continents. My husband ‘common sense’ is different one than mine. What seem normal to him are things I dislike, and the other way round. Using the path of common sense, we could have shipwrecked our marriage long ago. Thank God for Jesus and His Salvation. We are now both saved and mature believers. We are both trained and lead by the Holy Spirit. Each of us carries the responsibility and the burden for the success of our lives, marriage, children and ministry. If one falls into the sea, the other knows how to move the rudder in his (her) direction and come closer to save the victim. We both do this work as it is necessary. Each successful intercession strengthens our desire to continue the journey and the give glory to God.

This is one of our ‘secrets’ as a married couple, why we are successful: we have indeed discovered Christ in each other. Our spiritual foundation is strong! If I can give you one advice it is this: Marriage is work! Marriage cannot survive with a just a beautiful parlor, a pretty face and relaxing instrumentals in the background. Marriage has enemies! The devil targets the marriage and like a wicked pirate, he is ready to kidnap and kill. Both my husband and I we are trained in the art of spiritual warfare. We trust one another because we have found Christ in one another. We have learned our lessons in a painful way and none wants to repeat the mistakes again. There is no room for betrayal anymore.

Lessons from Hosea and Gomer

Captain Prophet Hosea has much to teach us when it comes to bring back a wayward co-pilot. Read his book in the Bible. He has learned to use kind but honest words that can save the most wretched wife. He knows that using the tongue to injure the stubborn beloved will only increase the overall damage. God kept Gomer alive in the raging sea; he will not ‘shoot’ her with his tongue. After all, as captain, he has to give an account for his staff, dead or alive.

Hosea prepared his speech to meet his runaway wife: “I will speak tenderly to her…” (Hos 2:14)

The word ‘tenderly’ means to speak from the point of pain, from a broken heart that even God honors. It means to speak words that are easy to ‘digest’. No PHD oratory and no grammar here!  Just pure love found at the foot of Calvary Cross. Kind words in time of provocation can bring peace to the restless and save a drowning soul. The Holy Spirit shall supply them. You have to speak them.

This is my encouragement to you: Marriage is a good thing indeed!

In Christ I declare:

In all crises, I speak kind words of life supplied by the Holy Spirit!

My life is good, but it will become better!

My marriage is good, but it will become better!

My ministry is good, but it will become better!

I am healed! I am delivered! I am free!

To the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“Just as water is turned into irrigation ditches, so the Lord directs the king’s thoughts. He turns them wherever he wants to…If anyone can control his tongue it proves that he has perfect control over himself in every other way… And a tiny rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong” (PV 21:1; Jam 3:2-4; LB)

The tongue is compared with the rudder of a ship. It is small but has the power to direct the path and destiny of the man. I am not a naval engineer. So, I’ve gathered some technical information how the rudder guides the ship. This is what I’ve found: The rudder is a very small vertical blade located underwater, at the back end of the ship. However, it can swing a huge ship around with relative ease. Without it, the pilot cannot control or steer the vessel. For example, when the pilot turns the rudder to the right, the flow of the water on the same side of the ship becomes slower. This slower movement of the water will exert less pressure on the ship compared with the fast moving current on the other side of the ship (this is called the Bernoulli’s principle of fluid dynamics). The lower pressure now works like a vacuum. It attracts the ship to move towards it. In other words, the rudder does not push the ship to any side. But it influences the currents that change the ship’s direction. The lower current pulls the ship. To better understand the power of such small equipment, listen to this: If a ship loses its rudder, it takes three or four powerful tug boats to turn a large ship.

The tongue is compared with the rudder of a great ship. This little muscle between your cheeks has the power of life and death (PV18:21). The words spoken by you will direct your whole body, or even your marriage towards life or death. No man can ‘push’ another man to change direction in life. No man can change the heart of another. No physical force, beating, shouting, manipulation or temper tantrum can truly change another man. His tongue has to be renewed and then the change will be immediate, easy and enjoyable.

In marriage relationships the tongue is very efficient, for good or for bad, to build or destroy. Most couples who come to me for counselling, they get angry at the words of one another. They respond in kind. If the husband shouts, the wife feels that is her ‘duty’ to shout back. This is the natural human response. You need supernatural methods to win the victory! If the Holy Spirit takes control of the tongue, the shout, the abusive words are met in the power of the same Spirit. Then the hearts and circumstances change.
Let’s take this scenario: the husband is an unbeliever, married to a believing wife. All is well, for some time. Nobody knows that the storm is coming. Then one evening, the husband comes home after a long day in the office, tired and frustrated with his job. His level of patience in his ‘tank’ is below ‘reserve’. He cannot control his tongue. He is not able to be kind to his wife. Something pushes him to be rude. He misplaces his anger towards the wife. Suddenly, the devil takes control of the home. The husband will find fault with his wife just because she is the most available person around. The words he wanted to say to his boss will come to her like fiery darts from hell. His anger makes no sense. Sin is not reasonable. For a minute, the husband will vent his frustration on the poor woman. His words are like a flood of water. If the wife is not a mature believer, she will panic and the sudden wave will destabilize her ‘ship’ (her heart). But if she is an experienced spiritual ‘pilot’, she will manage the crisis well. She will remain calm, praying in the Spirit, hand on the steering that turns the rudder and eyes fixed on Jesus. She will be able to turn her ship in such a way that the flood will not damage her heart. She will be able to prudently overlook his sin, forgive him and still continue to love him, ‘like nothing has happened’. Not only that but she will take advantage of the speed of the tsunami wave and make fast progress ahead. After the storm dies down, the (foolish) husband will have no other option than to give glory to God for his loving wife. He has to admire her grace, poise, patience and love and repent of his sin. He sees Christ in her. He will now desire to change.

I said that I am not a naval engineer. But maybe I am one. I am also a pilot and a weather consultant. Of course, spiritually! I have applied this principles many times. They work! He that controls his tongue in times of provocation will escape spiritual personal damage and will direct the marriage to better ‘waters’. After the ‘rough weather’ in the home, the Master of the Sea speaks: ‘Peace, be still!’ His word never fails! I have spoken this Word so many times that all my walls and even my ceiling are witnesses to it. No devil can resist God’s Word! Then the sun shines again! The danger is averted! Progress in marriage is sure! The worship continues! True love never fails!

Dear Brethren, this is my word to you: Do not be afraid of difficult circumstances of poisonous words! The sea changes from season to season! You cannot expect to be a mature pilot that other will trust, without passing thru some rough waters in life! But you don’t have to sink! No matter the attack, you don’t have to do mistakes that will damage your ship! You do not have to end up with a broken heart before 12 midnight! The Word of God and His Spirit have enough power to make you a champion! In Christ, you are able to make the best out of every negative situation. That is why I do not fear men or their words! I do not fear the devil, slander, divorce, sickness or untimely death! That is why I fear God! That is why I enjoy God and my marriage! That is why I have peace!
Praise His Holy Name!

In Christ I declare:
All things work together for good for me and my marriage!
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me!
I forbid divorce!
With my words, I direct my marriage towards righteousness peace and joy in the Holy Ghost!
I am a mature believer!
To the glory of God!
In Jesus name
Amen!

“For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing (1Thess 5:9-11)

Yesterday two wonderful men of God and pastors went to heaven. One was living here in Warri and the other one in Houston. Both were about 50. Both were married with children. My daughters wrote to me about their pain. They needed comfort as such a time as this. This is part of my answer to them:
“See his death as a transition to a higher glory and all will be well! We do not mourn like the pagans who have no hope! In life and in death Jesus is Lord! This death is another reminder that we should not waste any day, but we should do our best for as long as we breathe. For no one knows tomorrow except God and He will not tell…

As for me, I live my life in such a way, as each day is my last on earth. I do not postpone kindness! I do not store anointing! I am generous with my desire to show goodness! I let go of the past. I live in the present with the future in mind! I give all that I have so that I don’t take my grace to heaven, but invest it here on earth, to the hungry and needing souls. The peace that passes all understanding surrounds my mind and my heart. I am a pilgrim on this earth and I travel light. My salvation is sure. My destination is beyond any doubt! I do not fear and I do not worry about tomorrow! My life is in God’s hands!
Do not waste your pain! Use it for prayer and worship! It is well with your soul! God loves you! I love you too!”

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul”

(by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873)

In Christ I declare:
It is well with my soul!
In Jesus name
Amen!

“God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell; He leads the prisoners out to prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a parched land” (Ps 68:6, AMP)

All sins are bad. But some are worse than others. Rebellion is the top of that list. It was pride that led Lucifer to rebel against God. We are born with the tendency to be proud, stubborn and rebellious. There is no other way to change the heart except by the power of the Holy Spirit. Rebellion is defined as open, armed and usually unsuccessful defiance or resistance against the established authority. It is not easy to spot a rebellious person. This is a heavily guarded secret sin. For many years it hides behind words and gestures of false religious humility. But it cannot be hidden for too long. One day, the demon of rebellion will be tired to be ‘humble’ and it will manifest. Its tongue is like that of the cobra. Its venom will be spat in the eyes of the victim or injected in his veins. Death comes and nothing but a miracle will save such a man.

In marriage, the demon of rebellion is most successful. It influences the husband and his wife to reject the authority of the Bible. The Word of God is simple:
‘Wives, submit to your husbands, as unto the Lord…Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church” (Eph 5)
When rebellion comes, both commands are disobeyed. The wife insists to be the leader of the home. She feels that she knows best. She chooses what to buy, what not to buy. She sees her husband just as a roommate. She is not able to honor him as the head of the home. She alone decides how to take care of the children.
The husband, for the sake of ‘love’, submits to her manipulations. He has to accept her moods and tempers. He is afraid that others will hear and he tries to cover up his wife. He knows that this is manipulation but is powerless to react. When he reacts, he loses his temper and later has to apologies to the wife. Adultery may not be committed physically. But the home is a war zone and all are victims of the evil one who was once ‘the darling’ of heaven. Many married people suffer in silence, thinking that there is no way of escape. For them, a happy marriage does not exist; it is only in the movies. They may go to church, intercede for the nations and do other great projects. But their marriage is only a shadow. Their prayers for the home are feeble, lost in the desert of sadness from ‘a parched land’.

Please listen! This is the truth: God wants you to enjoy Him and your marriage partner! Loving God and loving your spouse are twin actions. Do not separate them. Thru the Word of God and also by experience, I have learned that God loves marriages. He invented them! As a wife, I had to pray hard over the years for the understanding of God’s purpose for us as a couple. To my surprise, God’s vision for us was much better and bigger than what I had in my mind the day I said ‘I do’ to my husband. I underestimated the need for godly wisdom, the practical skill of living successfully, in a dangerous and difficult world. I also underestimated the power of peace and the profit of godliness. For many years I prayed for the courage to obey God’s Word. I prayed that I may be able to joyfully submit to my husband and not feel inferior or foolish. This is not an easy path. The devil fought like mad. There are so many distractions, dangers and enemies along that road of obedience and faith. Often, it felt that it was much easier to divorce and live alone. That was the snare of easy success in life.
The greatest breakthrough was when I discovered that it was indeed God’s will for us to marry. I needed that assurance for when we got married, forty years ago, there was no prayer said and no God invited. We got married based on emotions. But God was working behind the scenes, even when we did not know that He exists. Once that mighty precious, assurance ‘landed’ in my heart, I became bold as a lion. I saw my marriage certificate signed with the Blood of Jesus! This time I was ready to obey all God’s commands for the sake of Christ. I started praying for our marriage with the confidence of a heaven-approved-Blood-bought- Spirit- sealed wife. I joyfully anticipated the day when our union will become an overflowing transparent ministry, giving all glory to God and encouragement to many. This letter is a drop of a drop from that deep holy well that never runs dry. I desire to encourage you all married people, and you who desire to marry… that you may know God’s purpose for your lives… that you may desire to host Jesus in your home, always…For His yoke is easy and His burden light…
May the water become wine, in Jesus name!

In Christ I declare:
My marriage is heaven approved and earthly useful!
My marriage is fruitful!
My marriage is blessed!
To the glory of God!
In Jesus name
Amen!

“The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise” (PV 11:30)

Today I went to visit our new church site. I went to see my future prayer counselling office. There was dust everywhere and the workers were busy. For a moment I wish that there was an opportunity to do ministry even before the official dedication of the church. Surely, we are standing on holy ground…Surely, there is a soul needing a Savior…

Then I saw a man coming in. He is not a member of our church. He lives in another city. But he heard about God’s house and he came to see it for himself. He was surprised to see me there. I quickly prayed in the Spirit. Clearly, he needed Christ and he did not know it. I could see it in his eyes. He is about sixty, married, with five small children. Both he and his wife attend different churches. But there is ‘no prayer at home’, he said. His father was one of the richest men in Nigeria. The last time I met him, more than twenty years ago, he was driving expensive cars and talking vanity like rich men usually talk. He used to travel abroad often. He always smelled expensive cologne. That is how I remembered him.

Today he looked frail, sickly, his clothes faded. I saw that his chest pocket was torn. After the ‘normal’ greetings I asked him about his life. Automatically, he said ‘Fine…’ I knew it was a lie. I was not satisfied. I can smell a broken heart or a wounded thirsty soul. I then asked him ‘what is your greatest challenge now?’ He looked at me curiously not sure if I can handle the answer. Then he said that his family they barely eat; that he has difficulty in paying the children school fees and the normal bills. He said that nobody wants to give him any ‘contract’. His answer did not surprise me. God can do anything to bring a soul to Him. I did not shake, my eyes looking behind his plastic, business-man smile. I also saw that his hands were shaking…he looked so hungry for a word of encouragement, for a drop of hope. It seems that all his rich friends have abandoned him for he could not climb their ladder anymore.

As firmly and gently as I could, I told him that he needs God. More than money, more than contracts, more than friends…he needs a Savior. Standing there, with the noise of hammers around us, dust everywhere I shared with him the Blood Soaked Good News of God! I gave him the best I have in my heart, the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, my only hope of glory. Generally, I feel shy when talking to a strange. But not when I share the Word of God! The boldness of the Lion of Judah empowers my voice. I always feel responsible for the way I use my tongue. The power of life has a chance!  I always think that this Word might save his life! This may be the last chance! I cannot afford to be shy or well mannered…Like a surgeon with the knife in his hand, it may be ‘now or never’. I could feel my words hot with the fire of Pentecost. I could also feel his heart opened; there was no resistance, no arguments and no excuses left in him. Some years ago, he could not have listened at all. But now, to my surprise, he did…

I prayed for him. He said Amen. Immediately his face brightened. Oh, I love You Holy Spirit! He promised to come back with a testimony. As he was going out I heard him telling another man: ‘That woman read my heart and told me all about my life. This must be God…’

Yes, this is God! No man can read the heart of another man except by the power of the Holy Spirit! This is the work of God! This is wisdom from above! His name is Wonderful! His name is Jesus Christ!

I pray that the anointing of Spirit-lead evangelism may fall on you! That you shall not miss any opportunity to share the Gospel with the lost souls! Do not look at the outward appearances for they always deceive! Redeem the time for the days are evil! May God will revive your heart and your love for souls! Your reward is more than you can imagine! Your joy will overflow!

In Christ I declare:

I win souls!

I am wise!

My reward is great!

To God’s glory!

In Jesus name

Amen!

WHY I LOVE NIGERIA

“For as the waters fill the sea, the earth will be filled with an awareness of the glory of the LORD” (Hab 2:14; NLT)

To many people I sound strange… I am an expatriate living in Nigeria since 1980. I am an ‘oyinbo’ (that is how white people are called in Nigeria). I came here as an unbeliever. I worked as a doctor for almost twenty years. I am now born again and in full time ministry with my husband of forty years, Pastor Richmond Leigh.  We have started a church in our hospital building. God has surprised us with His mercies and grace beyond our wildest dreams. We are very happy as a couple, as parents and grandparents. Most of all we are blessed to be the leaders of a living church filled with the most wonderful people on the planet. If you do not believe these words, it is easy, come and see…

One of the things I love about the Holy Spirit is that when He ‘comes down’ and moves in our church, everybody knows that it is HIM! All doubts flee! This is the testimony of our church: Each Sunday visitors come. They are from different denominations and many ideas about the doctrines of the Bible. But one thing is sure, once the Wind of the Holy Spirit begins to blow, they all, in one accord, bow their heads and knees in worship and adoration. In the presence of the Holy Spirit each one searches his heart to look for sins hidden from the eyes of men.

You feel the need to confess and repent. You feel this strong desire to repent and change your life. You feel the need to come to know Jesus, to come closer and serve God. Stingy people suddenly become generous and make pledges that sound crazy an hour before.  The weak becomes strong! The shy ones receive courage to propose marriage. And other wonderful things like that…

As pastors, our main purpose is to acknowledge, honor and host the person of God the Holy Spirit. Once that is done, the rest is easy and all things fall into place. I have not seen any man too strong for the Holy Spirit to bend. This is the secret of our lives, ministries and church. If you are a tourist and you want to visit Warri Nigeria, there is no much help I can give to you. Even after more than 34 years living here, I still find it hard to recommend a particular place, park, restaurant or hotel. But one thing is sure, God loves this place and the people here are wonderful. In the US, where our children live, if you want to watch a movie you go to the movie house. If you want some entertainment, you go to the down-town where some action is taking place. If you want to hear about God then you have to drive to a church, during their service (not too early and not too late). But in Warri, things are much simpler.  You go and visit your friends (and you area always welcome) or just go along the streets. Do not be intimidated by the noise and the crowds. You will see action and you will hear prayers from morning till night. It is true that not all things are edifying, but one thing is sure, you will never be bored in Nigeria. CNN may not quote my letter, but this is the truth, I love Nigeria!

Revival’s wind is blowing in Father’s House Bible Church Warri Nigeria. As one of the senior pastors and as one who lives in the building I confirm that God loves Warri Nigeria! I confirm that all is not a tragedy here! That there is light at the end of the tunnel! That against all odds, the hope of glory has taken abode in this strange and beautiful land called Nigeria! Amen!

In Christ I declare:

God loves Nigeria!

There is hope for Nigeria!

Nigeria shall be filled with the awareness of the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“So he (Abraham) went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes” (Gen 16:4)

God promised a son to Abraham and Sarah. Thru that son, like the stars in the sky, many descendants will come. Many years have passed and there was no answer. For a short time, the old couple fell into doubt and this is how Hagar the house maid had a son for the master. From the moment she got pregnant, she despised her barren old mistress. She became proud. God’s blessing of a child did not make her humble or grateful, but arrogant. Foolishly, Hagar forgot that Sarah bought her with money as a slave. The word ‘despise’ in Hebrew means to curse, to hate, to look at another as too small for notice, as if that person has no value as a human being. This is a very important lesson. The religious men persecute the true believers!!! They despise, look down and mock ‘the stars’.

We do not know how long Sarah kept silent under the hateful stares of Hagar. We do not know how long she contemplated if she should confront this issue or not. She wanted a baby so much that she was ready to endure every shameful behavior from Hagar. Like Hannah who endured so much painful persecution from her mate Peninah, she probably kept quiet for some time and just prayed. For as long as they remain barren, these women cannot talk. But once Isaac was born, Sarah’s courage revived and she took her place of authority in the home. She brought the matter to Abraham and boldly suggested the ‘casting out of the slave woman and her son’. The tables were overturned. God’s miracle of grace gave the victim the courage to confront and defeat the bully. Abraham was confused for a time and grieved for the loss of his first son Ishmael. He probably thought that Sarah is too harsh with ‘the poor maid’. But God confirms Sarah’s stand. Painfully, Abraham has to obey God. He sends Hagar and has son away. They wander in the wilderness for a time but they settle there at last. Ishmael becomes an archer. In Hebrew, the word means to be harsh, tough, cruel and stubborn. According to the prophecy, Ishmael shall be ‘a wild man’. He shall obey no one. He shall be over emotional, a man of the flesh, having the natural wisdom of this world, religious but unspiritual, a child of the devil. Hagar’s children represent men outside Christ. Their strength is in their numbers. They may intimidate with their profane words, well-built muscles and man-made weapons of war. By forsaking the God of the Bible, they become losers and reprobates. Their shout is empty and their victories a passing boast. God forbid!

Do you know how it feels to be despised and mocked, to be a victim of proud hateful religious evil spirits?
Are you a victim of oppression? Do you silently suffer in your marriage, in your home, in your church? That is not the best strategy! God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind (2Tim 1:7). Come out of depression! Come out from darkness to light! For the sake of your soul, for the sake of your children, do not be cowards! Expose the wicked forces of darkness! The fear of man is a snare (PV 29:25). Fear only God! At the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow! Come and talk to someone you trust! Go and meet your pastor and confess your pain! Do not suffer in silence! If you do not trust your pastor, then go to another church! Seek and until you find the way of escape for God will do it!

I separate myself from the spirit of the slave Hagar and her son!
Like Sarah, I will get married and I will have children!
My marriage is blessed!
My children are stars!
In Jesus name,
Amen!

“While the King is at His table, my perfume fills the air with its fragrance” (SS 1:12; GWT)
The Beloved Bride is invited to come to the King’s table. This moment has been in her mind for so long. She tried to imagine, how it will be, when she will see Jesus face to face. For many years she loved Him from afar but, secretly, she has always desired intimacy, a closer walk with Him…this desire she kept it hidden in her heart, for in her village on earth, love was only for sale…There was a time when she thought that the King’s fragrance is all that she needs. She prayed and from heaven, He sent her a drop of perfumed oil… men call it ‘anointing’… she perfumed her old faded clothes…suddenly, at the touch of this oil, her rags became a beautiful dress of embroidered silk, the color of the rainbow…The whole village was shocked for no one among them received any such gift from abroad…They mocked her and her Lover… But it is too late…Dressed like a princess she will never be ashamed of her love for Him! Never!

The welcoming hall is so big, so many people, all happy, all loving Him and all serving Him. She looks at herself and she feels so small, so lonely…is this s dream or what? Suddenly nothing and nobody matters… She sees Him, the Lover of her soul. King Jesus is seated on His throne and is surrounded by a big round table covered with all types of fruits. This is His table. It is not her own. He offers her food that will heal her soul. The fruits of the Spirit look so fresh….She feels good, clean, special, accepted, loved and safe. Like a child, she starts to dance round the table, round and round, until exhausted and free, she falls at His feet… He lifts her up…He smiles…Suddenly, she feels hungry for what even the angels desire to eat…

In Hebrew, the word translated ‘table’ in this verse, means a circular piece of furniture that goes round about the room. Just imagine a great round table surrounding King Jesus who sits on the throne in the middle of the circle. I read that the owners of the restaurants (on earth) prefer square tables, so that the guests have ‘elbow room’. The corners of the table separate the people. They eat together but each feels the need to have its own ‘private space’. A round table symbolizes intimacy. There are no sharp corners, no fences to divide the people. The road to each other’s heart is simple. No time to waste in sharp turns that can lead astray. My space became our space. In heaven, at the wedding of the Lamb, all the tables shall be round and smooth. No fear of separation! What God has joined together, let no man (or any square table) put asunder! What can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus? Nothing and nobody!

Spiritual intimacy is the holy passion and desire to be one with Jesus, to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Many men go to church but few desire such passion. It is the same in marriage. Many chose their life partner out of business calculations, profit making, traditions of men, religious decrees or convenience. They take the easy path prescribe by successful cowards. They fear adventure and romance. They hate true love, with its hills and its valleys. Intimacy in marriage is more than sleeping together in the same bed. It is the desire to be one in the Spirit, to feel the same, to have the same vision, to help each other to fulfill destiny. This unity of the Spirit is a gift of grace and makes the marriage true and wonderful. God gives it to us but it is our responsibility to maintain the seal intact, to keep it free from damage and division. We are promised to Christ as His virgin Bride! The marriage grows when both the husband and wife value this holy invisible bond of peace in the home. Each quarrel should be seen as poison. Each harsh word is a merciless bomb. This holy work to protect true love is the secret of success and happiness in marriage. May your eyes open to see the beauty of holiness and the power of love!

Even if my words sound strange sometimes, I encourage you to follow me, even as I follow Christ! I promise you, there shall be no regrets and no loss! We can only be better!

In Christ I declare:
I pay the price for holy intimacy, to be one with Christ!
I pay the price for holy intimacy in my marriage!
I trust God! Therefore I shall not be disappointed in my search for true love!
There is no room for selfishness and division!
My table of blessings in marriage is round and filled with the fruits of love!
In Jesus name,
Amen!

THE MOST EXCELLENT SONG

“The Song of Songs [the most excellent of them all] which is Solomon’s” (SS 1:1, AMP)

I can never forget the ‘happy day when Jesus washed my sins away’. My old self died and the new me in Christ, came alive in the power of resurrection. I fell in love with the Lover of all lovers. Jesus loved me first and forever it will be so. Out of His love revealed at the Cross and poured into me, I learned the eternal precious blessed work to worship Him in Spirit and in truth. In case there is any doubt, let me say this: My Lover is the Lord Jesus Christ, blessed be His name forever. The next lover is my husband of more than forty years, Pastor Richmond Leigh.

For all of you who do not share my passion for the Lord, these words may cause anxiety, may even disturb you. Empty religion does that. I understand… It was like that for me at the beginning. The love of God is like a mighty river that washes away all that is in its path. True love is fearful to the coward. It is like a flood unstoppable. When God created the earth, one reason why He made the Niagara fall is because He wants men to see and try to imagine what His heart. Words are not enough to describe God’s grace and love!  ‘A thousand tongues’ cannot sing well about Him who loved was first…

The book of Song of Songs in the bible is unique. It is one of my favorites.  It is not so much about doctrines or about teaching rules and regulations. At the first reading you may not understand much.  It sounds like an old fashioned love- poem, a romantic song in a strange language. You need to be baptized by the Spirit of Him who was thirsty for a drop of love when dying on the Cross. It is a coded song, spiritually discerned for lovers only. It is said that most believers are not interested to study it.  Like in the natural so it is in the spiritual.  Love requires sacrifice that few desire to pay. Love needs maturity to be apprehended and enjoyed. You cannot drink its wine as a child. Blood must be shed for the oil to flow…

There is something mysterious that attracted me to the Song of Songs. I fell in love with this Lover, running over the mountains and seas, to come closer to me. I heard His voice calling me by name. I dared to come and seat under His shadow delighted with His fruits. His embrace gave me strength to respond. Against my common sense to be a respectable lady, I held Him close and I will never let go…Jesus is the eternal Lover of my soul!

The revelation from the Song of Songs has also changed my marriage. I applied its lessons to my relationship with my husband and we both have tasted from its sweetness. It is a sacrifice, but such a sweet one. I highly recommend this labor of love to all who are married or desire to do so. Jesus loves His Bride with a passion that nothing can quench. Husbands should love their wives in the same way. Wives should be ready to respond to this flood of love that can kill the relationship or make it alive forever. .But one thing is sure, your lives and marriages will never be the same. They will never be dull, boring, usual, predictable or burdensome. Take it from me; an old sister who has a young heart and who has tasted from the wine of romance and love…

All I am saying is that the Lord is good! All the time! And forever!

In Christ I declare:

Jesus loves me!

I love Jesus!

Jesus loves my husband!

My husband loves Jesus!

The Lord is good!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“This teaching is a light…keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife…no one who touches will go unpunished…The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit” (PV 6:23-29; 18:21)

LIGHT FOR THE MARRIAGE SEMINAR

Much of the success of the marriage depends on the words spoken at home. The tongue is like a sword. The devil can use it or God can use it. Spoken words are able to kill or to destroy the chains of oppression. We have this tendency to think that words are cheap, that they mean almost nothing. That is why we lie easily. That is why we do not give attention to what proceeds from our mouths. The truth is that words are very powerful. They change lives and situations for better or for worst. Like milk spilled on the ground, once spoken, the words cannot be taken back. Even if you say sorry, even if you weep in repentance, audible words take a life of their own and outlive you. We are created in the image of God. We speak like God…or like the devil. As the Word of God does not come back to Him void of power, but accomplishes the purpose for which it has been sent (Is 55:10, 11), so also our words have the power to build or to destroy. We speak wicked words. Then we deceive ourselves that a gift, a kiss or even sex can atone for the damage done by the spoken words.

A sister came to my office and told me about her pain. Her husband insulted her, saying that she is ‘a stupid cow’. She wept on and on. She said that she couldn’t believe her ears, that her husband is a Christian. She told me that later, he went out and bought a bottle of perfume for her, thinking that the gift will solve the problem. With the bottle in her hands, she continued to weep.  He then got angry, broke the bottle, insulted all women on earth and went out, banging the door. Later, she picked the broken glass on the floor, afraid that the children will be hurt. She then cut her finger. She came to my office bleeding in her body and in her soul. Marriage is a fragile bridge. Without respect, patience and true loving words, marriage may be broken beyond repair.

Words reveal the heart. Listen to a man or woman speaking and you shall know the truth about their heart. You cannot speak and hide your identity. It is not possible. Many a man’s love died at the end of a wicked curse coming from his wife’s mouth. Just before his heart died, he discovered the truth about the beauty queen he married long ago. She is a hater and not a lover. What a terrible revelation… He joined his body with an agent from the occult, a criminal from the sea of passion and poison. The shock is enough to break and kill the strongest man.

“O, Delilah, your beauty deceived me and your words killed me. Turning the wheel in prison, this is my only desire: I will pray every day, to forget your sweet words and your loving hips, the devil’s altar, where naked and bare, for the sake of silver, all my dreams died at your feet…”

What is the solution: Come to the Cross! Pray! Come to Jesus Christ! See your Savior bleeding, how He died for you and for me. Let the Spirit purge your heart! Let God teach you how to marry! Forsake your words! Abide in the Word of God! Let your heart change! Let your tongue be born again! Speak the words of life! Speak the truth in love, no matter the cost! This evening, as I write this letter…I can feel it in my bones, there is hope for you…

In Christ I declare:

Christ lives in me, the hope of glory!

My tongue is born again!

I speak life!

I am blessing to my husband and children!

I am a blessing to my generation!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole

course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell” (Jam 3:6)

GOOD FIRE- BAD FIRE

The tongue is a little organ in the mouth. But is small size is deceiving. Surprisingly, the tongue, as an organ of speech, has great power. All men are born sinners. Until a man is born again, his tongue is used by the devil. He cannot resist the devil. A sinner cannot speak the truth. His tongue is on fire because it is directly connected with hell. Try to imagine this: the unbeliever’s tongue is a bridge to hell. Try to imagine something else: to marry an unbeliever, it means to live in hell even before you die. Marriage can be heaven or hell on earth. Choose one!

A wicked tongue connected with hell, how does it manifest? Let’s assume that a Christian brother is deceived to marry an unbelieving religious woman. Her tongue is connected with the fire of hell. How do you recognize her?

First of all she is a liar. She does not know the truth. She is not able to speak the truth. Let’s assume that in the morning she greets her husband with a sweet ‘good morning my dear husband’. All these words may sound good to his ears, but these are all lies. The truth is that the morning is not good for them. The devil has already planned a new strategy of quarrels in the home. The truth is that her husband is not ‘dear’ to her, for the devil has planted grudges against him in her heart. The truth is that he is not even her husband, for she seduced him to marry her. You see, the whole sentence is a waste, more than that, an injection of poison to start the day. Her words deceive him and soon they shall manifest as complete mockery.

Secondly, she will speak words that will bring doubt in his heart. Hell is described as a place of eternal separation from God. The devil will use her speech to provoke him to abandon his faith in God. Backsliding is the result. Many have lost their ministries because of unholy marriages. Hell is also a place of eternal regret. The souls of men shall ‘gnash their teeth’ over there. This woman shall provoke the husband to regret his commitment to God and to the church. She will embitter his heart will words of fear and anger. He will count as loss the sacrifice he has done for the sake of Christ. He will hate the Cross. He will choose to be a hypocrite. The power of the flesh will quench any desire to be spiritual. She will encourage him to sin, to lie, to bribe, to cheat or to manipulate others. Like Jezebel, she will encourage her husband to oppress and defraud the poor people, destroying any compassion left in him.

She will use her tongue to prophesy. She will bombard him with statements like: “God told me that…” All these words are false prophecies and deceitful religious oracles. Like Herod, the husband will believe the home-made lies of his wife and he will soon reject the true prophets. Over the centuries many saints have been persecuted by liars who married one another. Her words shall bring constant anxiety to you. She sees all things in a negative way. The fear of the future does not allow her to enjoy the present. If you try to reject her fears and doubts, she gets angry. She hates the idea of deliverance and she will not submit to any pastor for counselling.

This picture is so sad…What then is the solution? JESUS!!!! First of all pray! Remember God! Test all spirits for they are not all coming from God! Do not marry if you have any doubt about the spiritual standing of your future spouse. Marriage is far more important than what most people say. Do not marry out of lust, frustration, anger, peer pressure, poverty or riches. Honor God with your desire to marry. Do not ignore the danger, the possibility of marrying a religious unbeliever whose tongue is a bridge to hell. Do not just admire her face. Like an ENT doctor, examine her tongue. Let her talk. Do not correct her at the beginning. Let her be!  Listen to the sound of her voice. Pray that God will reveal the truth to you. Remember that until the wedding day, she is not (yet) your wife and you are not (yet) her husband. Look around, who are the people she calls friends? If they are worldly people, it means she is worldly. Do not be biased. Do not be soft with your emotions. In the past, the pagans sacrificed their children into the fire of the altar of Baal, burning them alive. God hates that. Marrying an unbeliever is almost the same. Your children shall be burnt by the fire of her tongue. This evil tongue is connected with witchcraft and it is an abomination to God (Deut 18:10).

Lastly, you must marry a child of God. Her tongue should be a fire for the Gospel. That is a good fire that purges sin and makes all things holy. Her tongue should be used by the Holy Spirit, bringing life to the dead and light in the dark. Her words should challenge you to be a man of God. His words should challenge you to be a woman of God. Your greatest attraction should be your future spouse’s spiritual status. Nothing else compares with it. Beauty and health change with time. Wealth can increase or decrease in the future. But the spirit never gets old and never dies. Your marriage must be approved by heaven before you can enjoy it on earth. These words are from my heart.

In Christ I declare:

I separate from any person who is an agent of hell!

I disconnect myself from any tongue of fire from hell!

I reject all lies, fears, doubt, bitter words and false prophecies!

My marriage is approved in heaven and enjoyed on earth!

I am happily married!

In Jesus name’

Amen!

“Can you take away a soldier’s loot?
Can you rescue the prisoners of a tyrant?
The Lord replies:

“That is just what is going to happen.
The soldier’s prisoners will be taken away,
and the tyrant’s loot will be seized.
I will fight against whoever fights you,
and I will rescue your children.
I will make your oppressors kill each other;
they will be drunk with murder and rage.
Then all people will know that I am the Lord,
the one who saves you and sets you free.
They will know that I am Israel’s powerful God.” (Is 49:24-26, GNT)

“A champion named Goliath (Abubakar S) said: “This day I defy the armies of Israel! Give me a man and let us fight each other”. On hearing the Philistine’s words, Saul and all the Israelites (the Government of Nigeria) were dismayed and terrified… 
David said to the Philistine (Abubakar S) “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army (Boko Haram) to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel (in Nigeria!). All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” When the Philistines (Boko Haram) saw that their hero (Abubakar S) was dead, they turned and ran away…
Then the men of Israel and Judah (the Christian believers) surged forward with a shout and pursued the Philistines (Boko Haram)… Their dead were strewn along… When the Israelites (the Christians) returned from chasing the Philistines (Boko Haram) , they plundered their camp” (my paraphrase of 1Sam 17)

This prayer meeting was so very different than the one last week. The power of God was present to heal, deliver and set free. There was a fresh overflow of anointing, flowing from the throne, unhindered by none. Last week we were strangely weak. Today we were strangely strong. There was a prophetic word: The leader of Boko Haram (Abubakar S) has the spirit of Goliath. This territorial demon wants to rule Nigeria. Like Goliath, he has insulted not just the girls who he has kidnapped, not only the Government of Nigeria, not only the Christians here, but he has defied the Living God who holds his breath in His hand. He has insulted the armies of the Jehovah Sabaoth! Possessed by the spirit of antichrist, he has blasphemed the name of the Living God. It is God’s decree that he must die! The president of Nigeria is like King Saul. He has to visible authority but no power to perform. He is too afraid to stand for God. He is not the one anointed to win the victory. It is David that God used to kill the giant. God shall use us today to eliminate Boko Haram, not with guns or soldiers, but with the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. Like David could not use Saul’s armor, we shall not use politics, the media or natural weapons. We shall pray and decree destruction in the camp of the enemy. God shall surely answer us. All the captives of these evil men shall be set free. The kidnapped girls shall return! We all prayed in faith until could pray no more. We praised the God of Israel, who is the God of Nigeria! We then prophesied: It is finished! We give God all the glory!

This was the sermon:
Who is God’s champion?
David is a young man, a teenager. He grew up in a big house, the last of many brothers. Jesse, his father was a religious man. But religion alone does not define David. He has a relationship with God that is personal, intimate and strong. This relationship ‘works’ for David. He is a man of God, a true champion, a hero and a leader of men!
A champion is more than an official leader. He is more than a president chosen by the votes of men. He is more than a natural king of a chief. He is more than a millionaire or a religious leader. Money cannot buy such a title.
A champion is one who inspires the people to stand and fight for what is right. He is a defender of the helpless and of the victims. A hero is someone who has true courage and strength of character.
David is truly humble man, content with the blessings of God in his life at this present moment. He is not selfishly ambitious Goliath was the world champion. The world is defined as the organized system of men who live like there is no God. A worldly man is always proud selfish and ambitious. He is never satisfied with his life at the present moment. David stands for God and for what is right; even if he has to stand alone. David has courage. His zeal for the glory of God is infectious. Once Goliath died, the whole Israel pursued the enemy and killed them all.

Lastly, this is the question: Do you want to be God’s hero? Then be like David. Are you content with God’s blessings today? Are you free from selfish ambition? Can you stand alone for God? Can you stand alone for that which is right! Are you free from the fear and flattery of men? Then blessed are you! God will use you and many shall follow your lead. You are a blessing to your generation. You shall mentor multitudes from all over the world. Your name shall be great. You shall be known as God’s champion, the killer of evil giants and trouble makers in the land. Your scepter of authority shall replace the scepter of the terrorist wicked. You shall save many souls. God will use to heal, bless and deliver many. You shall be known as a prophet to the nations.
We declare that Nigeria belongs to God! Jesus is Lord over Nigeria!
I believe, therefore I have spoken!
In Jesus name,
Amen!

“The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit.

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (PV 18:21, 22)

THE TONGUE OF DEATH HAS BEEN DEFEATED!

Recently, a sad young man showed me a text message on his phone. It was from his wife who claims to be a Christian. The two of them had a quarrel. I could only read few words and I felt like sick. She wrote: “You are a goat, a slave and an idiot…” The rest I can’t even print. I was very sorry…I knew his wife. She never insulted me directly, but these words revealed her real spirit. There is no need to ask him what provoked his wife to say such things…No woman of God should speak like this! Not even to her driver or house-boy! Try to imagine, after hearing these words, how can such a man go to church to worship? Dear brothers and sisters, under no circumstances, under no provocation you should speak write or even think such wicked words. A wise woman builds her house (with kind, patient, loving and encouraging words…with silences when needed…with prayers…with kindness in action…) but a foolish one will destroy her own marriage with bitter words and with the fiery tongue of a serpent on errand from hell (PV 14:1).

Read the scriptures above. The Holy Spirit has placed them together. The success of any marriage depends on the words spoken at home. I counsel women (mostly) and men in my office. Often they come crying, quoting painful words and bitter curses from the mouth of their spouses. Physically, men are stronger. Under provocation they may react violently. As a wife, it is terrible to be a victim of physical domestic violence. No wife forgets that slap, that punch, that beating. Years pass by but the anger, the shame is still there. The women attack their husbands with words. They hurt their feelings with insults, mockery or curses. Words can be even more painful than a ‘silent’ slap. We may regret the words and the hurt caused in anger. We may even say sorry… but the wounds last for a long, long time. Words have power. Words are seeds of life or death. There is a harvest for each one of us. We must eat it, if we like it or not. We cannot divorce our words. They shall hunt us, for better or for worse. There are consequences we must bear for the words that came out of our mouths.

There is power in the tongue. During the time of dating, study each other and especially, listen to one another. The beauty of her face or the money in his account cannot compensate for the mistake of marrying someone who does not fear God and cannot control the tongue. Our words reveal our hearts.

Dear brother, do you want to know if this woman you say you love will be a good wife to you? Then listen to her well! Listen to her speech! What is she saying to you? What is she saying to others? Especially, listen to her when she is angry….Listen to her when things do not work her way… Listen to her when she is tired to pretend…

A mature Christian woman is known by self-control. She has the power to control her tongue, even under painful provocation. Your wife should not curse you at all! If in pain, she will explain to you how she feels, but she will never curse you. ‘The law of kindness is on her tongue’ (PV 31:26). She will either bless you or she will keep silent. But she will not lose her temper and angrily scream bitter insults at you. That is how unbelievers react. Marry a child of God! You say that this is an ideal woman. Yes, but this ‘ideal’ woman exists somewhere. Pray that God will connect the two of you. Why marry danger? Why connect with hell? Why gamble with your destiny?

The tongue has the power to kill the listener. A wayward woman is known by her speech. She uses flattery to seduce the ignorant. Flatter means insincere, lying praise. Dear brother, why do you want to listen to lies? Why do you want to hear wonderful things about your successes or about your possessions? Why do you want to feed the pride of life? Why will you be infatuated with a woman who falls in love with your bank account? Why will you admire a woman who praises your car? Flattery is a red flag of danger. Listen to your conscience!

A true woman of God will speak the truth in love, hurts you only if you need correction and directs your heart to Jesus when you go astray. ‘Faithful are the wounds of a friend but an enemy multiplies kisses’ (PV 27:6).

Marry a woman who knows the road to life eternal, who directs others to Jesus and not to herself or to you. Marry a woman who fears the Lord! Therefore she will hate evil and what the devil will do to you.

Your wife should not lie at all! God hates a lying tongue. The devil is a liar! You will not want to marry a woman that God sees as a trouble maker. No matter what you and your friends say about her, it is only God’s opinion that matters. A wicked heart produces wicked words. They will kill your spirit, quench your passion for Jesus and destroy your ministry. No human being should do that to you! Your wife should not be a gossip, should not be an idle busy-body. During dating, study her mouth, her feet and her hands. What does she like to talk about? When both of you are silent, what subjects does she initiate? Where does she go every day? Who are her friends? What church does she attend? What type of preaching does she listen to? What is she doing from morning till evening? You should want to know the truth about her spirit before you join your body to hers. The foundation of marriage is very important, I’m sure that you know it!

Do not marry to divorce! Do not marry to please people! Do not marry for fun! Do not marry for money! Honor marriage as a gift of God! Marry as an act of obedience to God! Marry to stay married and to serve God together, all the days of your lives! Do all things to the glory of God! Then you and your children shall live long and be happy! This is God’s promise! Amen!

In Christ I declare:

The law of kindness is on my tongue!

I am a blessing and an encouragement to my husband!

I am a blessing and an encouragement to my wife!

I reject all evil spirits of bitterness, hot temper and lust!

I bring all my friendships and relationships to the altar of God!

Let the altar speak!

Let the fire fall!

To the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit.

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (PV 18:21, 22)

THE TONGUE OF DEATH HAS BEEN DEFEATED!

There is a spiritual connection between these two verses. The lesson, read in between the lines, is that much of the success or the failure in marriage depends on the words spoken at home, especially in the bedroom. It seems that the power of the tongue is stronger than even the sexual connection. This revelation is a surprise to many; nevertheless, this is the truth. Knowing this, we should be much more careful with our words as a married couple.

This is the question: what does it mean to have the power of death in the tongue? What type of person, better said what type of heart is that who can kill her (his) lover thru spoken words? Who gives that power to a man?

In Hebrew, the word ‘death’ in the scripture above means to completely destroy another; to suddenly kill someone and send him to hell. The word also means to be a necromancer. Before we go and look at the dictionary to understand what a necromancer is, we remind ourselves that this study is done to help marriages. Most of the marital troubles are spiritual and cannot be solved by natural means. Behind every insult, every act of betrayal, behind slander, gossip, hatred, manipulation, lust or adultery, there are demons who initiate them. So it is possible, the tongue of the wife has the power to kill her husband and his love for her (or the other way round).

I pray for the leading of the Holy Spirit as we proceed further. Necromancy is an occult demonic practice. It is the act of bringing back to the visible realm the spirits of the dead men and communicating with them. This is done to gain secret information about the past, present or the future. This information has the power to influence present circumstances or to manipulate other people. The practice is done by skillful spiritists and belongs to the realm of witchcraft. It is a pagan practice and it requires a sacrifice. It is totally forbidden by God (Deut 18:9-13).  A good example is the witch of Endor. King Saul went to her that she may bring back from the dead the spirit of the Prophet Samuel. The king wanted to know the future, what will happen the next day in the battle (1Sam 28). OK…that was not easy, I understand… but it is in the Bible, so let’s go on…

Maybe you argue saying that your wife is not a witch. That she does not go to spiritualists, to native doctors, to the forest or to the cemetery. You say that you met her in the church and you believe she is a Christian. All these facts may be true. Please remember that witchcraft is one of the manifestations, one of the works of the flesh. We all live in a body of flesh. Ignorantly or not, we all have a native tendency to sympathize with the powers of the occult. We all desire to know secret things of the invisible spirit realm. We all want the direct power to change people’s hearts or destinies. We all want to know the future. This inherent curiosity is the platform the devil uses to operate thru our spirits. Demons do not have bodies. They use the human flesh. It is only the Holy Spirit that can drive them away. Until a man is born again, he cannot help himself. He is a slave to the powers of darkness and cannot deliver himself from them. These demons are more active in some families than in others.

The question still remains: for example, how can a woman use her tongue to kill her husband or her marriage? The answer is this: thru the power in her tongue to speak death into the home. She may be ignorant of it but a demon of necromancy may work thru her tongue. She has the spiritual power to invoke the spirits of the dead. She does this especially when she is angry, when she is provoked and she wants to retaliate. This is a test for you: how do you know if your wife speaks death into your home? Just like a necromancer brings back the spirits of the men who died long ago, she will bring matters of the past and stir up things you thought long forgotten. She will remind you of sins and mistakes of the past. She will not let you rest creating anxiety about past mistakes. She will create false guilt and a burden of condemnation that the future is not secure because your past of sin. She will terrorize you with the past, destroying the hope of the future. Remember: ‘Love is not rude…is not easily angry…Love does not keep record of wrongs…’ (1Cor 13:5). All her words are hateful arrows designed to kill the love in your heart.

For as long as you listen to her, you cannot have peace, joy or the assurance of your salvation. You will struggle to love God and to love your wife. May God open your eyes to see the truth behind the natural things!

What is the solution? If you are not married yet and you date such a woman, separate immediately! It means that she is not born again. Children of God do not kill! They bring life to you! It means that she is an agent of the powers of darkness sent on an assignment to ‘kill you’ (spiritually or even physically). If you are married already, then pray that you may know the truth. Pray that God will have mercy and deliver you. Be sure that you are truly saved and filled with the Holy Spirit. Study the Word of God and claim the promises of God. Ignore her negative comments for they are all lies. You need to pray that the Holy Spirit will strengthen you. Most men make the mistake and carry their wives for deliverance. The best way is for the husband to become a mature believer. It is not an easy task with such opposition at home. But it is possible! I have seen it done! The spouse of a demoniac becomes a preacher of the Gospel! He now has a great testimony!

The demons in your wife may react. These are proud ‘prophetic’ evil spirits! They will be punished by the devil if they fail to drag you to the road of death. It is a battle unto death. But the advantage is that as a believer, you have God Almighty on your side! God can never lose! Your faith in the God of the Bible is the key that never fails. The power of the Cross and the Blood of Jesus will speak on your behalf. Your wife may threaten with divorce or violence. She may curse you and accuse you falsely! Learn to die to such words. Ignore them! Do not argue in the flesh! Do not quarrel! No matter what the provocation, please, do not fight physically! Just ignore the lies and go on with your life. Sometimes, just quote the scriptures back to her! Do not preach! Just speak the words of life! Have faith in God! For as long as she is willing to live with you, do not drive her away. But if she leaves and desires divorce, then let her go, you are not under any obligation to bring her back (1Cor 7). The truth is that she cannot help herself, for now…but one day, the light of mercy may fall on her, and she too will be free. For nobody know the destiny of a soul, nobody knows the future, except God and God alone!

As for me, I have done my work as a pastor to you. I have obeyed the command of God that says:

“Rescue those being led away to death;

hold back those staggering toward slaughter.

If you say, “But we knew nothing about this,”

does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?

Does not he who guards your life know it?

Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?” (PV 24:11, 12)

Finally, dear child of God, I plead the Blood of Jesus upon your body, soul and spirit; upon your marriage, your spouse and your children; upon the work of your hands and your ministry! May God anoint these words of life to bring light to the blind, to break the chains of bondage, to heal the sick and to set the captives free! In Jesus name, Amen!

In Christ I declare:

I am free and free indeed!

The tongue of death has been defeated!

I no longer live but it is Christ who lives in me!

To the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“Husbands…Honor your wives as those who share God’s life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers….I want men to offer prayers everywhere. They should raise their hands in prayer after putting aside their anger and any quarrels they have with anyone” (1Pet 3:7; 1Tim 2:8; GWT)

OUR HANDS

A Christian marriage is a marriage of prayer. Do not even think about marrying someone who hates prayer. That marriage will not last. There is a wonderful saying: ‘They that pray together- stay together!’ This is the truth. Nothing else will ‘melt your heart’ towards a man, even if he is a stranger, like the feeling you have when you pray together. The presence of the Holy Spirit with you, as you bow your heads in prayer, will seal that friendship. You are drawn towards each other in a holy way. You have this feeling that you pray to the same God, that you are family. If this is how you feel with people in general and your brethren in particular, so much more that chemistry will work in your home and establish your marriage.

Simply said, prayer works! I have tried this method many times. This is my testimony over the years…When there is crisis in the marriage, when there is the shadow of misunderstanding, when words hurt and tears fall…the moment we make the slighted move towards each other, hold hands (even a little touch) and pray…O, something good always happens…the Holy Spirit moves… our love blooms again, our friendship revives and the devil runs outside the window. Every marriage should be soaked in prayer. Hold hands when you pray. Be sensitive to any hindrances to the flow of prayer. Be careful to note if the prayer life in your marriage is suffering. It is not enough to pray well separately. The marriage is designed to need both of your prayers, together, as a husband and as a wife. Pray in the parlor, when the children and the visitors come! Pray at the table and bless the food on the plate! Pray in the bedroom when no one but God listens! Long before you even think of a doctor, pray for one another when you are sick! When there is anxiety about money, pray! When you worry about the children, pray! When you feel like talking but you don’t know what to say, pray! Pray in English, pray in tongues! Like the tracking number on a gift sent to you, quietly and faithfully, monitor the answers to your prayers as they come closer to the earth. Rejoice together when they come!

There is no competition here; no pride. There should be no one who says things like this: ‘I am a better prayer warrior than my spouse. If it was not for my prayers, I don’t know what will happen to our marriage…’ (I have heard such words in my office many times). Maarige is like a marathon. It lasts a life time. Sometimes one is stronger than the other. No need to take the glory for prayer. If you can pray more often and you are more able to intercede for the marriage, do so without complaining. Let not your pride quench the desire to pray together, as a couple! Pray together, love together, go to church together and you shall stay together. This is God’s mathematics!

It never fails. When dating, take pleasure in ending all your discussions and plans for the future with prayer. This is not just a routine religious prayer, so that the other may think of you as spiritual. No! Prayer is a privilege, a priority and a joy! By praying together, you are training to be successful as a couple! You are inviting God into your marriage! He is the Holy Unbreakable Sealer!  You have to learn to trust God for your future as a couple. The success of your life and marriage lies in His hands.

My husband and I live in ‘a prayer atmosphere’. This is not just because we are pastors, parents or grandparents. This is because we have developed a holy habit of coming together to pray often, for all things, even little things. Sometimes the pressure of life is increases; the devil attacks with anxiety or sickness. Old age is a factor too, we are not deceived…But when one forgets the good gift of prayer and he seems lost in space, when depression tries to steal the joy of living…the other will come close and gently touch the lonely hand…that touch speaks…it means ‘let’s pray’… Our hands have become sensitive to the buttons of prayer and true love. When we got married long ago, as worldly people, the touch of the hands meant sexual message. But by the grace of God, now it is different. Our hands have grown in grace too. They have learned the new message of true love, support, encouragement and peace. They are witnesses of the blessing of prayer. Our hands have wrinkles now, but their beauty shines forth. Our hands can freely be lifted now, as holy instruments of worship. Our hands can be laid on other people and the Holy Spirit imparts the power of life in them. Our hands have been soaked with tears of repentance together…and now they are a witness that the bridge of marriage can never be broken. ‘If your hand leads you into sin, cut it off’- said the Lord. But if your hands have learned to pray and worship, then good has come at last.

Yes, ‘the three-fold cord of marriage cannot be easily broken’ (Ecc 4:12). Let your hope rise! May this be your marriage story! May your testimony together touch the hearts of men! To the glory of our God!

In Christ I declare:

My hands are holy!

My marriage is holy!

My marriage is soaked in prayer!

My marriage shall last forever!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones…

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord…” (PV 12:4; 18:22; NIV)

Marriage is a gift from God. Successful marriage is a proof that God exists; that God knows you personally and that He loves you. Dear brother please remember: It is the man that does the seeking. You will not find your wife by mistake. The woman prays for the seeking man, that they paths may meet. Not any Christian woman can be your wife. She has to be God’s choice and gift to you. Your wife is prepared by God to be your helper, to supply what you need and what you lack and to make you complete.

For example, Abigail was a good wife. Her husband was a foolish man, greedy and wicked. To marry such a man the woman had to be very special. Abigail compensated that great need by being extremely wise, generous and kind. Thru her intercession and actions, she saved his life. Manoa’s wife was also a good woman. Spiritually, she was more sensitive than her husband, correctly interpreting the purpose of the angels’ visit. By her prophetic words she encouraged her husband and delivered him from the fear of death (Judges 13). But not all women were good wives. Among the women in the Bible, Jezebel is the worst of all. Another negative example is Job’s wife. She tempted him to betray his faith in God, to backslide and even to commit suicide (Job 2:9, 10). Attention, sisters!

The noble wife is a gift from God. She does not come to a man by mistake. In Hebrew, the word ‘noble’ means strength of character. She has the power of an army to win the victory. The word ‘crown’ means to surround the enemy, attack and totally defeat him. It also means to protect the head of the home. A godly wife is a mature intercessor and a spiritual warrior. She prays against the forces of darkness that try to destroy her home. She attacks their stronghold, wins the crown of the enemy and silences his boast. She does it on behalf of her family. She then gives the crown of victory to her husband as a trophy. In this way, she becomes a crown herself, like Sarah, a princess with God and a mother of kings.

Many men have fallen to the temptation to marry unbelieving women. Others choose to marry the wrong believing wives. All these mistakes have serious consequences. ‘A disgraceful wife’ is one who will disappoint you spiritually, delay your progress in life, confuse your mind and dry your spirit. She is not able to understand your spiritual needs. She is not designed by God to do that. Even if she is willing, she is not able to do it. Basically, she is too selfish to care about your destiny or your ministry. She will be like ‘decay in your bones’. The greatest sign that you have married the wrong wife is chronic spiritual weakness. For years to come you will not be able to read your Bible, to understand the Word, or to pray well. You discover that you cannot stand and succeed as a man of God. You will battle depression, doubt and fears almost every day. You will be tempted to backslide. Going to church will be a burden to you. Worship becomes a past glory. You will become skillful in religious hypocrisy for you see no other way to live your life outside your home and still call yourself a Christian…

If that is your case, there is no other word for you except to come back to Jesus, back to the Cross of Calvary!!! Repent of your sins, for choosing to satisfy the desires of the flesh above your spiritual needs. Let the Holy Spirit have His way! Let your flesh die! Let your spirit be revived! Be honest with God! You cannot seek divorce for God hates it. But you can repent for the sins of your past. Pray for mercy for the two of you. Your repentance may provoke your unbelieving wife to abandon her home. Like Hosea, bring her back if it is possible. But if she goes away and rejects all invitations to return, then you are free from her spirit and her influence (1Cor 7).

To avoid such tragedy and pain, lay the proper foundation of your marriage!  Pray, seek and find the woman God has prepared for you personally.  Your wife is God’s gift to you and a personal favor from Him! Marry well! Marry your holy strong wise loving warrior princess and God will be your ‘father in law’, sorry, your ‘Father in Grace’. What a wonderful promise! Marriage made in heaven is one of the greatest joyful surprises God gives to men! It is a package that comes with God’s personal favor, approval, blessings and grace! May that be your portion, it is my prayer…

In Christ I declare:

From the bottom of my heart I am grateful to God for our marriage!

I am a noble wife!

I shall marry my princess with God!

My marriage is made in heaven!

God’s favor is in my marriage!

Our marriage is a ministry and a blessing to many!

Our children shall be a royal priesthood!

We are worshippers of the Living God!

To the glory of God and to the increase of His Kingdom!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord…

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (PV 18:22; 31:10; KJ, NIV)

The brother who desires to marry and he is willing to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit shall surely find his wife. Do not read to fast…I said ‘he shall surely find his wife!’ In the scripture above the wife is called ‘a good thing’. Let the married men say: “I have a good thing!”

The word ‘good’ in Hebrew means something beautiful, pleasant and precious. The wife starts as a good thing and with time, just like the wine, she becomes better, sweeter and wiser. This wife called ‘a good thing’ is filled with the Holy Spirit. She overflows with peace and joy. She is kind and strong. She prays always! She does not complain! She does not manipulate! She will be by your side as a friend, doctor, lover, mother and sister in the same time.

Dear brother, you who desire to marry…what are you looking for in a woman? First of all she has to be a child of God. A woman who fears the Lord shall be praised. Natural beauty is good, it is an asset. But the choice cannot be made only on that for beauty is temporary. This is the greatest disadvantage with all things of the flesh and of the world: they do not last. They come and they go. Only the spiritual blessings remain with you and are truly yours. They even follow you after death as a crown of life. You gather them from this life on earth. Your status in heaven is determined by your faithfulness on this earth. Do not despise the potential each day has to find rubies in the trash rejected, ignored or trampled by men.

Marriage is a very serious ministry. You need a wife who shall be your life- time helper. You cannot hire a wife. Do not marry a woman who is a liability to you. Do not be enticed by her physical beauty. If God does not set His stamp on her as ‘a good thing’ she is a bad thing, a source of sorrow and regret. The marriage certificate cannot change a goat into a sheep. Your wife needs to be strong spiritually. She cannot be a coward, a foolish, wasteful or careless woman. She is not afraid of the future for her trust is in God. She will not be idle, always depending on you for money, counsel, prayers and help. Do not marry a woman you know needs prayer and deliverance even before her wedding day! No matter how beautiful she is do not complicate yourself! You need a woman of God, established in her faith, serving God, with fruit to prove her holy calling. In the area of faithfulness in marriage, you should have 0% doubt about your wife. You should be able to boast in the presence of others that your wife is faithful to you. The woman you are going to marry must be truly ‘the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh’. For her alone you shall be ready to leave mother and father, to become one flesh with her. Resist the attraction of coming together with dead men’s bones and their strange flesh.

A helper is someone who knows you; your strengths and your weakness, and still, does not run away from you. A helper is someone who will be by your side in your life’s journey. The truth is that life is not easy. But God will give you a helper who will make your life on earth more bearable, even pleasant and peaceful. She will pray for you and help you to change for the better. She will be prudent, an intercessor, restraining the evil that surrounds you. She has to be a good listener and a true friend. A man should never fear the betrayal of his wife. A man should have complete trust in his wife. A godly wife will never abandon you for another man, no matter how rich, handsome or powerful.  Lastly a good wife is a woman who is willing to be a godly mother to your children. These things are declared to be so when you find ‘a good thing’.

Dear brother, Just in case you are discouraged now saying there is no woman like that in your village, I say: ‘pray’ and God will bring one especially for you. God does not tempt His children with impossible dreams and frustrating desires. God put Adam to sleep. Man must sleep before finding his wife. This is a sleep of rest and trust in God. There is no need to worry, to panic and to be troubled in looking for your wife. To the world sleep means nothing. But for the child of God sleep is sweet for the mystery of romance and true love is conceived in his spirit. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes ‘in the morning’. Sleep brother and rest in the God who loves you. Soon, you shall wake up and find the gift of God, ‘the good thing’ promised knocking at your door. The God for whom nothing is impossible has spoken! Amen!

In Christ I declare:

I rest in the Lord trusting Him for my marriage!

I have a good thing!

I am a good thing!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“Therefore, brothers and sisters, we are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman” (Gal 4:21-31)

In the Roman Empire the father was not directly involved in his son’s life while he was a child. That was the work of the mother and later, the private paid teacher. This teacher lived in the house and was completely in charge of his student. He taught him not only the sciences or the languages. He also taught him how to do war, the tradition of the family and the social skills preparing him to be a true son and heir to his father. Later, when the boy becomes a teenager, there was a special public ceremony when the fully trained son is handed back to his father. In other words, his father redeems him, ‘adopts’ his own son. From that time on, he will be by the father’s side. Everybody will know them together: father and son. They are a team. The son shall be known as the heir to the family estate.  The two generations shall walk together side by side. The father knows that the heir is ready, mature and faithful to the name and interests of the family. The power of death and failure has been destroyed because the two generations have been linked together by an indestructible bond. From this time on, the son shall take active part in the administration of the estate, even going with the father as a soldier, to help him in times of war. He is a mature son who can make wise decisions. The teacher who trained him as a boy is no longer needed. The obedience to the law is replaced by the intimate family relationship between father and son. This is a picture of the peculiar work of grace in the heart of the true believers. This transformation between the time of conversion and the establishment of spiritual maturity is called sanctification. It is under the sovereign control of the Spirit of God. No other man, spirit or angel can perform this miracle of spiritual growth. Please observe that all spiritual children shall be treated like slaves at the beginning. But there is a difference of hope. Sarah’s sons shall become spiritually mature, while Hagar’s own will never grow. Selah!

This is a very practical lesson: study the people you call believers for a long time. If they are truly born again, they will surely grow in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. There shall be spiritual fruit. They become more loving, more patient and more self-controlled with their tongues. But the religious unbelievers do not change. Even if they attend the best churches, even with the preaching of the Gospel, even in the presence of the anointing of the Holy Spirit after many years they still remain the same: selfish, lazy, wicked, rude and irresponsible. Like the sheep and the goats, Sarah and Hagar’s children shall reveal their true nature! Wait for this revelation before you make any lasting commitment of fellowship with them! You will avoid the pain of a broken heart. Wait for the shine of the stars! No matter how dark the night, the true believers shall arise and shine!

In Christ I declare:

Sarah is my mother!

I am a child of promise!

I am the light of the world!

I am a city on hill and a light-house for the lost!

My children are free from the law of sin and death!

My children are true believers!

My children shall arise and shine!

The Hope of Glory dwells in me and in my children!

In Jesus name

Amen!