“Then the Lord said to me: “Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans” (Hos 3:1)

“When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her: “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”

She said, “No one, Lord.”

And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” (Jn 8:8-12)

 

Recently a young woman of about twenty five came to my office. She was accompanied by an older sister from the church. The young woman got married last December to a brother who attends our Father’s House. Their wedding ceremony was done in her church. This is her story: Last month her husband’s sisters caught her phoning another man. This created a big family quarrel. The husband confronted her but she refused to confess to adultery. Then the in laws drove her away to her parents’ house. Over there, she admitted that she had sex with another man while in her husband’s house.

 

Understandably, the husband was very hurt and angry. He decided that, for now, her punishment was to stay in her parents’ house for the next three months. Then he will know what to do. Her father asked him for mercy. That at least, let the husband send some of her clothes so that she can change. The husband said no. Her family is poor. His family is putting pressure on him to divorce her.

 

When the young woman came to my office she was scared to death. She looked like an animal in the bush, caught in the snare of the hunter. She could not look at my face. She was talking fast, in whispers, clearly ashamed. Her dress was not cheap; it surely looked good once upon a time. But now, it was dirty with oil and it smelled sweat.

She agreed that she had sex four times with a stranger. She said that the man met her on the road and that she foolishly followed him. She does not know the name of the man. They went to a hotel, but she does not remember the address of the place. I asked her why she did it. Her only answer was “Temptation, ma…Temptation, ma…”

I asked her if she still loves her husband and if she wants to go back to him. She said yes. I asked her if she is pregnant. She said no. I asked her if the man gave her money for sex. She said no. I repeated the question three times. She said no. Then I asked if the stranger promised her to give money later. She quietly said yes. She said that she had hoped that the man will help her with money. She wants a hair dresser shop. She plaits hair for a living.

(I could not believe that she attends our church but this was the reality I could not deny)

 

As firmly and gently as I could, I told her the reason why she committed adultery is not because she is poor, not because her husband is poor, but because she is not born again. This temptation she was talking about was an occult spell. The stranger succeeded only because she is not a child of God. I told her that I understand she wants her marriage back. But for now, she has to let go of that wish and simply come to the Cross of Christ. I told her he is just a religious woman but not saved; her soul is more important than even her marriage. She has to love Jesus more than any man. She should use this pain and shame to make peace with God. Today is her day of salvation!

 

She listened! She agreed to do so. I prayed with her that God will have mercy on a lost soul and reveal to her the way to eternal life. I could see that she was hanging on any little word of hope from my lips. And Christ, the hope of glory was the best I could offer. I sis not confused her with other little promises. She took Jesus Christ by faith. I then asked the older sister to tell the hurting husband to come and see me as soon as he can. I could not promise that I can change the husband’s heart, but I said I will try to intercede for her.

 

The next day, he was there waiting. This is the first time that we spoke face to face. He was angry and hurt. I allowed him to tell me the story all over again. He said that he suspected something was wrong when she will run to the toilet to answer phone calls. I prayed for wisdom. It is not easy to handle a hurting man. The devil got him strong. Again, my only hope was Jesus Christ, ‘the Friend of sinners’.

For as long as he focused on his ‘righteous’ hurt we could not move forward. Then I asked him: ‘How did you meet your wife? Did you sleep with her before the wedding?’ To my surprise, these ‘simple’ questions became swords. Suddenly, he started weeping ‘like a woman’. It is not easy to witness the wailing cry of a man. I quietly prayed in the spirit waiting for the flood of emotions to calm down. He then said in ‘Pidgin’ English: ‘Pastor, I was a road side mechanic. I was a rough man. I did not know God. I told my mates that one day I will go to that church with big sign board, Father’s House. They laughed at me for all of us were rough boys. Then eleven years ago I came to this church. I really gave my life to Christ. I had a girl friend at that time. I told her that I am saved and I don’t want sex again. She too laughed and tempted me three times. I did not look at her face. She got tired of me and left. Since then, I kept myself. I tried to marry from the church but the three sisters I proposed rejected me. They said that I am not ‘fain’ enough for them. My family wanted to bring a girl from the village that I should marry but I rejected the offer. That is when I met my wife and she agreed to marry me. It is true; we had sex together before the wedding. We did not tell anyone… No one knows but God…’

 

The tears and his humble confession opened a door of faith for me. It is true that I have seen this man in the church. He is not what you call a handsome man. He always looked in a hurry. He rarely attended weekly activities. He was not involved in any ministry. He was a loner. He always looked worried or sad. I never saw him smiling. From distance, I could not tell if he was saved or not. But that afternoon in my office, the tears washed away the lies and the truth came to light. This unfriendly unattractive lonely sad man was indeed a true son of the Most High God. What a wonderful revelation! Wrapped in a cloak of darkness and foolishness, covered with the dirt of hurt from an unbelieving woman he found in a strange far country, rejected and broken hearted, the prodigal son finally came home…Halleluiah, the angels are singing…

 

I asked him: do you still love your wife? He said yes. But that his family is forcing him to send her away… I then spoke with confidence: “Dear brother in Christ, you are a man of God! You are royal priest hood in Christ! Today you have to choose between the will of God and your family council. Adopt the culture of heaven! Before you are an urhobo man, you are a child of God! We shall pray that God will grant a new beginning to you, to your wife and to your marriage. As the sickness of Lazarus was not unto death, so your sin will not be unto divorce, but that the Son of God will be revealed in all His glory! I have faith and hope for you! This hope is Jesus Christ who died to set us free! The God who saved me has spoken! In Him, there is hope for the hopeless! Have faith! Be of good courage! The devil has lost this battle. See the light at the end of the tunnel of shame! Jesus is Lord! Just believe!”

 

He said Amen!

 

In Christ I declare:

This brother and his wife are saved!

Marriage is a good thing!

Marriage is a gift from God and nobody can steal it!

The devil is a liar and a loser!

Their marriage shall be restored!

All to the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!