“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear” (1Pet 3:1-6)

We all desire to be women of God. Here we are given Sarah as an example of a ‘holy woman of the past’. But the Bible is not just a history book. It is the ever living Word of God, a present help in times of need. By the grace of God, we shall study how to become ‘holy women of the present!’

The following instructions concerning dress code are taken from a secondary school in California. You may say it is not what we need. But there is much to learn reading this. Prayerfully, let’s apply the wisdom to us and to our children! Listen:
‘It is a fact that the manner in which students dress for school influences personal behavior and learning. Violations of dress standards will result in removal of the item and can result in a parent phone call or suspension for willful defiance of authority. Our board policy states that a student’s dress must not be a distraction that would interfere with the educational process.
All clothing must be worn within the bounds of decency and good taste. Clothing must be sufficient to cover undergarments at all times. Shoes must be worn at all times. Sandals must have back straps. No flip flops or slippers.
Hats shall not be altered, must be worn appropriately with the bill down and facing forward. No hats or sunglasses are allowed inside the buildings. Bandannas, sweatbands or hairnets are not allowed.
Clothing that creates a threatening or intimidating atmosphere is prohibited. Chains, belts and other items that are worn loosely are prohibited. Clothes shall be free of writing and pictures that are crude, vulgar, profane, sexually suggestive, or relate to drugs, alcohol, tobacco or violence; clothes should not advocate racial, ethnic or religious prejudice. No spiked projections!
We do not permit transparent, see-through or fish-net fabrics; off the shoulder, low cut tops or bare midriffs. All skirts should completely cover the knees. No spaghetti straps are allowed. Clothing that is torn and full of holes is not appropriate. Hair shall be clean and styled in a manner that does not distract from classroom learning’

What impressed me is that they saw bad dressing as a potential hindrance to the process of learning. A student goes to school to learn, to pass her exams. That is the main purpose for going there. Anything that distracts you from achieving your main purpose in life should be seen as a stumbling block and should be removed. Our main purpose in life is to know God, to enjoy God and to glorify Him forever! The secondary purpose is to become like Jesus! We do not want to use our Christian freedom as a tool for rebellion. We also do not want to fall into the opposite trap of legalism. I am not saying that you should dress like me or like the women of my generation. I am not recommending you the Romanian style of dressing. We live in Nigeria. But more than fashion and dressing codes, we are to do all things to please God and a conscience trained by the Holy Spirit. We should become good examples to the foolish and the ignorant. Everything we do, our speech, our behavior, our body language and total presentation should make it easier and not harder for people to come to Jesus! Please pray about these words! This is my desire: fulfil your destiny! Be women of God indeed! Amen!

In Christ I declare:
As a wife I submit to my husband (even if he is a difficult man), as unto the Lord!
By the grace of God I shall win my husband as a trophy to Christ!
I shall impress my husband with a gentle and quiet spirit which gives glory to God!
The source of my beauty is my holy character as a holy woman of God!
I am NOT a fashionable sexy wasteful foolish superficial woman of this world!
All men will see only Christ in me, the hope of glory!
All men shall remember me only as a woman of God!
So help me God!
In Jesus name
Amen!

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear” (1Pet 3:1-6)

We all desire to be women of God. Here we are given Sarah as an example of a ‘holy woman of the past’. But the Bible is not just a history book. It is the ever living Word of God, a present help in times of need. By the grace of God, we shall study how to become ‘holy women of the present!’

*The wife’s character is the strongest weapon in his conversion and the happiness of the marriage!

The strongest weapon in home evangelism is the character of the wife. The husband does not listen but the husband sees! Please remember: your husband may be deaf but he is not blind! He ‘sees the purity and the reverence’ of his wife.  In Greek the word ‘sees’ it means to inspect and thoroughly watch. Did you know that you are ‘an actress’ and your husband comes to see you perform? Why not play the role so well that you may win the trophy? Did you know that your husband is your constant inspector? He is designed by God to examine you and to find fault with you, especially with your words and daily behavior.

*The husband is an inspector and sees all faults

The husband will not be impressed with your lace, or head tie. But two things will touch his heart and will drive the demons far from him: your purity and your reverence. A woman of God is filled with the Holy Spirit who cleanses her soul. She becomes holy, clean and child- like. She is not foolish, but holy and spiritually innocent, free from condemnation, pride and bitter guilt. She does not use evil manipulations or crooked strategies in her marriage or other relationships. She fears God too much to lie, to deceive or to cheat others. The world says the opposite. The wayward wife deceives her husband and others to gain some imaginary rewards. Even if you think you can hide your evil plans from others, you cannot hide them from at least two persons: God and your husband! That is how God made marriage to be!  “Your desire shall be for your husband and he will rule over you!” (Gen 3:16) Dear single sisters, for as long as you refuse to repent or all evil behavior and seducing strategies, you will never marry a believer. Do not invest in fashion design but in a holy character that pleases men, angels and even God!

Let me add this: My parents were teachers. I still remember their preparation and anxiety when the state inspector came to the school. That event was not often but when the inspection day came, it was terrible for all. Just imagine that you have to live with that inspector every day. Every word you say, to him and to others, is observed and analyzed. The way you behave with your relatives and your in- laws, he marks them in his heart. Every meal you cook and every choice you make all these are recorded and publicly declared. If you try to bribe him, he will see it. If you try to seduce him, he will notice it. By now, maybe you are scared to even marry. No need to fear but be sure to marry a believer! This is to avoid much sorrow from an inspector who is more of a trouble maker than a friend. This is the way God made it to be. Selah!

*There is an acceptable dress code for a woman of God

Almost all believers know that there is ‘a dress code’ acceptable to God and man. But for many, it is just a theory. Very few women have the wisdom to apply such knowledge into practice. This is the truth: it is not easy to dress well as a woman of God. It is not just a matter of ‘fashion sense’, culture, money or ‘body type’. If the Bible did not say anything about it, we should have used only our common sense and dress as we like. But the Word of God tells us some things about this topic, enough for us to pause, pray and plan ahead. Like soldiers have their own uniforms, like the nurses have theirs, so the Christian woman should dress to represent her Lord. As a woman of God, you are a total ‘package’ presented by the Holy Spirit. It is said that you should not judge a book by its cover. This is true, but not always. Some ‘covers’ are so ugly, that it is hard to sell that book. As women, in almost every meeting we’ve touched this subject. But as we pray for revival and new revelations come, we shall continue to give attention to the Word of God concerning this mostly misunderstood, but important practical subject.

It is not enough to do something good. God looks at the motives of that action. Why do you do what you do? Who do you want to please: God or man? If you want to please man, God will withdraw from your life. But if you want to please God, he will make even your enemies to be at peace with you! That peace that passes all understanding is the strength of my confidence and the anchor of my soul.

In Christ I declare:

I am a holy woman of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear” (1Pet 3:1-6)

We all desire to be women of God. Here we are given Sarah as an example of a ‘holy woman of the past’. But the Bible is not just a history book. It is the ever living Word of God, a present help in times of need. By the grace of God, we shall study how to become ‘holy women of the present!’

One of the most difficult commands to obey is this: ‘Wives submit to your own husbands as unto the Lord!’ Submission is one of the laws of the Kingdom of God. This submission is not forced. It is the wife’s free choice done for the sake of Christ who, as a man, submitted Himself to God the Father. It is also done for the sake of the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Finally, the submission is done for the common good of the family. Please observe that the wives do not submit to all men. This command means submission only to their husbands and it is done ‘as unto the Lord’. It is easier for a believing wife to submit to her Christian husband. This is because he loves her as Christ loves the church. But it is extremely difficult to submit to an unbelieving husband. The believing wife is not exempted just because her husband is not saved. Rebellion and pride are sins. Her submission is expected even in this difficult situation. The question is this: As wives, how do we submit ‘successfully’?

*Sometimes, silence is louder than words!

First of all, the wife has to be truly born again. She knows that only God can change her husband’s heart. She does not try to manipulate his will, for that is called witchcraft. She will build herself in the most holy faith by the Word of God and by prayer. Except he specifically requests to hear the word of God, she may not preach to him! Let him go to church and listen to the pastor! Preaching to such a man at home will only add fuel to his stubbornness. She has to learn to control her tongue! Submission means that she will humble herself, go down to his level and discuss with him only ‘natural’ things. She will ask him about his job, his health and the children. If he does not ask for prayer, she may not volunteer to pray aloud. This spiritual quietness is a weapon that the Holy Spirit uses to break the stubborn will of the man. ‘Wife, always be led by the Holy Spirit!’

*In spiritual warfare, fashion is a useless and deceptive weapon!

The wife cannot impress him with anything in the natural. Her good sense of fashion, her beautiful dresses and hair styles, none of these are useful to touch her husband’s spirit. Even if he compliments her for the dresses she wears, there is no lasting spiritual gain coming from such a compliment. Here we see the weakness of fashion. It is more a form of entertainment with no eternal value at all. Once you understand this, you will not be frustrated when your husband does not notice your new dress or your latest hair style. This wisdom is the opposite of what is called common sense. The wisdom of the world says that the more fashionable you are, the stronger your marriage will be. But that is a lie. It took me many years and many prayers to finally believe this revelation. I am not saying that you should dress carelessly. But if you dress beautifully, let it be for the glory of God and not only for the pleasure of your husband.

In Christ I declare:

My marriage is successful!

To the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“Then the Lord said to me: “Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans” (Hos 3:1)

“When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her: “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”

She said, “No one, Lord.”

And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” (Jn 8:8-12)

Recently a young woman of about twenty five came to my office. She was accompanied by an older sister from the church. The young woman got married last December to a brother who attends our Father’s House. Their wedding ceremony was done in her church. This is her story: Last month her husband’s sisters caught her phoning another man. This created a big family quarrel. The husband confronted her but she refused to confess to adultery. Then the in laws drove her away to her parents’ house. Over there, she admitted that she had sex with another man while in her husband’s house.

Understandably, the husband was very hurt and angry. He decided that, for now, her punishment was to stay in her parents’ house for the next three months. Then he will know what to do. Her father asked him for mercy. That at least, let the husband send some of her clothes so that she can change. The husband said no. Her family is poor. His family is putting pressure on him to divorce her.

When the young woman came to my office she was scared to death. She looked like an animal in the bush, caught in the snare of the hunter. She could not look at my face. She was talking fast, in whispers, clearly ashamed. Her dress was not cheap; it surely looked good once upon a time. But now, it was dirty with oil and it smelled sweat.

She agreed that she had sex four times with a stranger. She said that the man met her on the road and that she foolishly followed him. She does not know the name of the man. They went to a hotel, but she does not remember the address of the place. I asked her why she did it. Her only answer was “Temptation, ma…Temptation, ma…”

I asked her if she still loves her husband and if she wants to go back to him. She said yes. I asked her if she is pregnant. She said no. I asked her if the man gave her money for sex. She said no. I repeated the question three times. She said no. Then I asked if the stranger promised her to give money later. She quietly said yes. She said that she had hoped that the man will help her with money. She wants a hair dresser shop. She plaits hair for a living.

(I could not believe that she attends our church but this was the reality I could not deny)

As firmly and gently as I could, I told her the reason why she committed adultery is not because she is poor, not because her husband is poor, but because she is not born again. This temptation she was talking about was an occult spell. The stranger succeeded only because she is not a child of God. I told her that I understand she wants her marriage back. But for now, she has to let go of that wish and simply come to the Cross of Christ. I told her he is just a religious woman but not saved; her soul is more important than even her marriage. She has to love Jesus more than any man. She should use this pain and shame to make peace with God. Today is her day of salvation!

She listened! She agreed to do so. I prayed with her that God will have mercy on a lost soul and reveal to her the way to eternal life. I could see that she was hanging on any little word of hope from my lips. And Christ, the hope of glory was the best I could offer. I sis not confused her with other little promises. She took Jesus Christ by faith. I then asked the older sister to tell the hurting husband to come and see me as soon as he can. I could not promise that I can change the husband’s heart, but I said I will try to intercede for her.

The next day, he was there waiting. This is the first time that we spoke face to face. He was angry and hurt. I allowed him to tell me the story all over again. He said that he suspected something was wrong when she will run to the toilet to answer phone calls. I prayed for wisdom. It is not easy to handle a hurting man. The devil got him strong. Again, my only hope was Jesus Christ, ‘the Friend of sinners’.

For as long as he focused on his ‘righteous’ hurt we could not move forward. Then I asked him: ‘How did you meet your wife? Did you sleep with her before the wedding?’ To my surprise, these ‘simple’ questions became swords. Suddenly, he started weeping ‘like a woman’. It is not easy to witness the wailing cry of a man. I quietly prayed in the spirit waiting for the flood of emotions to calm down. He then said in ‘Pidgin’ English: ‘Pastor, I was a road side mechanic. I was a rough man. I did not know God. I told my mates that one day I will go to that church with big sign board, Father’s House. They laughed at me for all of us were rough boys. Then eleven years ago I came to this church. I really gave my life to Christ. I had a girl friend at that time. I told her that I am saved and I don’t want sex again. She too laughed and tempted me three times. I did not look at her face. She got tired of me and left. Since then, I kept myself. I tried to marry from the church but the three sisters I proposed rejected me. They said that I am not ‘fain’ enough for them. My family wanted to bring a girl from the village that I should marry but I rejected the offer. That is when I met my wife and she agreed to marry me. It is true; we had sex together before the wedding. We did not tell anyone… No one knows but God…’

The tears and his humble confession opened a door of faith for me. It is true that I have seen this man in the church. He is not what you call a handsome man. He always looked in a hurry. He rarely attended weekly activities. He was not involved in any ministry. He was a loner. He always looked worried or sad. I never saw him smiling. From distance, I could not tell if he was saved or not. But that afternoon in my office, the tears washed away the lies and the truth came to light. This unfriendly unattractive lonely sad man was indeed a true son of the Most High God. What a wonderful revelation! Wrapped in a cloak of darkness and foolishness, covered with the dirt of hurt from an unbelieving woman he found in a strange far country, rejected and broken hearted, the prodigal son finally came home…Halleluiah, the angels are singing…

I asked him: do you still love your wife? He said yes. But that his family is forcing him to send her away… I then spoke with confidence: “Dear brother in Christ, you are a man of God! You are royal priest hood in Christ! Today you have to choose between the will of God and your family council. Adopt the culture of heaven! Before you are an urhobo man, you are a child of God! We shall pray that God will grant a new beginning to you, to your wife and to your marriage. As the sickness of Lazarus was not unto death, so your sin will not be unto divorce, but that the Son of God will be revealed in all His glory! I have faith and hope for you! This hope is Jesus Christ who died to set us free! The God who saved me has spoken! In Him, there is hope for the hopeless! Have faith! Be of good courage! The devil has lost this battle. See the light at the end of the tunnel of shame! Jesus is Lord! Just believe!”

He said Amen!

In Christ I declare:

This brother and his wife are saved!

Marriage is a good thing!

Marriage is a gift from God and nobody can steal it!

The devil is a liar and a loser!

Their marriage shall be restored!

All to the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (1Pet 3:7)

The following are some medical facts about the difference between the male and female brain. Doctors still argue about these findings and research is going on. But this is the truth: men and women think in different ways; they have different strategies in dealing with challenges of life in general and marriage in particular. The way their brain is ‘wired’ is different. This scientific information applies to the natural man. A child of God changes under the influence of the Holy Spirit. He develops the mind of Christ, which is the ideal human way of thinking. In Christ there is no male or female. Also, we should remember that each human being is unique and cannot be put in a box. That is why the following facts are to be viewed just as general guidelines.

The male brain works in such a way that men focus on one task at a time. They persevere to the end in that one project without getting tired or bored. They are able to reject all distractions until they succeed. Men think faster and are less emotional. Men are able to separate their thinking in different compartments without mixing them together. For example a man can cheat in the office and go home and be romantic to his wife without feeling guilty about his illegal activity in the morning. The level of testosterone (the male hormone) is at least ten times higher than in the women’s blood. That makes men more ‘sexy’ and more aggressive. They are led by what they see. For a man blindness is worse than death. They are physically stronger and desire to be in charge. They like to compete and win.

The women like to do more things in the same time. They tend to link everything together. They get easily bored with doing only one thing. They are more distracted by other factors and have more difficulty in staying focused. Because of this weakness, they start many things but finish few. Women are more emotional. They weep easier.

Women like to mix things, to connect information and see the bigger picture. They also value relationships. If a woman is offended in the morning, it will take her much longer to recover. For women, sex is not just ‘a thing’. They need a story, an atmosphere, a feeling of love. They are more emotional than men. They give up a battle easier and readily start new things. Women like to feel thins deeper than men. They are lead less by what they see and more by feelings or by a combination of factors.

These facts are just to remind ourselves that there are differences between the natural men and women. To the men, the women seem slow, foolish, forgetful and not practical enough to cope with the stress of life. For example, most men I counsel in my office do not trust their wives financially. They refuse to trust their advice when it comes to financial investment. A husband can give his wife money for house allowance and even generous gifts but he does not trust her as a business partner. He doesn’t want ‘to bother her’ with making money. That is a common explanation I hear from the married men.

The women’s weakness the Bible talks about is not spiritual. For in Christ there is no difference between male and female. If they are saved, both the husband and the wife are co-heirs with Christ. There is no male Holy Spirit or female Holy Spirit. But the weakness is physical and it comes from the way God created the female body. The husbands are commanded to be considerate with their wives, to understand the way God created them.

A wife is a helper to her husband. That is God’s decree for marriage. A helper is someone who aids another at his point of weakness, to make him stronger. A good wife knows the weakness of her husband and gives the right support, at the right time and at that particular point. This support is mostly spiritual, thru prayer and counsel. The godly wife prays to find the weakness of her husband and after that she prays more for strength to be supplied at that point of need. She encourages him to fulfill his destiny as a man of God. But marriage is not just ‘one way traffic’. The husband too has to identify the weakness of his wife. He should not insult or mock her for being weak. He should not desire to change her to be like him. A woman can never be a man. He needs to love her with her weakness, like Christ loves the church and to be considerate with her.

To be considerate it means to be kind; to think and feel the feelings of another. Because we are so selfish, it is not easy to practice godly consideration. The husband is to be careful not to hurt his wife thru ignorance or negligence. Any hurt in marriage is very difficult to heal.  To be considerate means to be accommodating, patient, mature and flexible with her until she finds her needed strength from God along the way. A wife values her husband’s godly consideration very much and finds it to be very attractive.

There is a famous movie called ‘My fair Lady’. A middle aged bachelor man tried to change a poor ‘ghetto’ girl into a princess. He changed her accent and thought her the good manners of high society. It was not easy for the girl to change. But because she started loving him she cooperated with his impossible demands. He often complains that she is too weak and foolish ‘just like a woman’. He says: ‘Why is the woman not made like a man?’ Finally she was ready. Dressed beautifully she goes to the queen’s ball and nobody knows that she was once just a street girl. The experiment was very successful. He now wants to dispose of her, sending her back to the streets from where she came from. He could not believe that she loves him. He will hurt her with wicked words and when she weeps, he is surprised at her tears. He does not understand her at all. All this time he looked at her as an object without a soul, who cannot have any feelings. This is how the unbelieving men think about women. Then a miracle happens and, for the first time he sees her heart. He now becomes considerate, free to love her, to appreciate her weakness and all.

This is our testimony:

My husband and I we are very different in many things. But the unity of the Spirit is strong in our marriage. The grace of God manifest in this: where I am weak, my husband is strong. And where he is weak, I am strong. In this way we can ‘balance’ our spiritual and emotional resources to make great progress with very little effort. We do not compete but we compliment. Over the years God has helped us that together, thru wisdom and love we are much stronger. ‘We put to flight ten thousand’. Our marriage works as a perfect heavenly designed machine oiled by the Holy Spirit. To the glory of God, for many years we have not been in a situation where both of us are weak in the same time and concerning the same matter. That could have been terrible and a great shame. One’s mistake became the platform for the other’s victory. And then, with tears of joy in our eyes, the shout of the King in our mouths and holding hands, we share in the trophy together! This is the secret of the un-interrupted flow of prayer and praise in our home! This is the reason why the heavens remain open over our marriage! All glory to God! Be encouraged for God is the Master of the game called ‘success in life’!

In Christ I declare:

My marriage is successful!

As for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“There are sixty queens

And eighty concubines,

And virgins without number…

My dove, my perfect one,

Is the only one”

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband”

(SS 6:8, 9; Eph 5:31-33)

It is believed that civilization came in through the influence of the ancient cultures, the two main ones being Greek and Roman. The Roman law is still the basis for the constitution of many countries today. I gathered the following information about the life of women in the Roman Empire, especially before Christianity spread in Rome and beyond. Read and mediate on these words:

A Roman household was considered a collective body over which the father was the leader.  Slaves, who had no legal standing, were part of the household only as property. The legal standing of daughters differs little from that of sons. If the father died without a will, the right of a daughter to share in the family property was equal to that of a son. The father had the right and duty to find a husband for his daughter. That is why first marriages were normally arranged. Technically, the couple had to be old enough to consent (12 for girls and 14 for boys).

After marriage the husband and his wife kept their properties separate. The bride became subject to her husband, but to a lesser degree than their children. But a daughter’s legal relationship to her father remained unchanged even though she moved into her husband’s home. A daughter was expected to submit and honor her father all his life, even if she had to disobey her husband. As a married woman, she kept her own family name for life, not assuming that of her husband. This arrangement explained the degree of independence Roman married women enjoyed relative to those of other ancient cultures. Although she had to answer to her father legally, she didn’t live her daily life under his direct scrutiny and her husband had no legal power over her. To be a good daughter was esteemed to be better than to be a good wife! The testimony of the father was greater than that of any husband.

We see that in the Roman Empire marriage was not a strong institution. The familiar spirits were in charge, to guide men and women all their lives. The children’s submission to their father was always a priority. Because of the strong ties to their families, the young couple was not able to truly cleave to each other as the Bible demands it. That is why Apostle Paul commanded the Christian wives to be different than their culture; to submit to their own husbands and not to their fathers. It does not mean that the young people will abandon their parents but they have to change their priorities. The marriage was now more important than the father’s house. The testimony of the husband is now greater than that of the natural father or any other man.

In Greek, the word ‘leave’ means to forsake, to let go. Something that was useful in the present becomes now a thing of the past. Something that was a priority is now ‘demoted’ into the second place. The word ‘cleave’ means to glue two parts together so that they become one new object with a different function. This ‘leaving and cleaving’ is a mystery, a deep spiritual secret. God alone knows who is to cleave. No man knows his life partner without prayer and direct personal revelation from God. Just the way you cannot glue together wood and metal, or plastic and paper, so also the Holy Spirit cannot seal an unequally yoked relationship. Any man or woman who is self-confident and boasting of his choice of a life partner, without asking God, that man is a fool. For God made marriage to be a mystery and only Him has the key to open it.

The wife submits to her own husband as a sign that she fears God. This submission cannot be demanded; it cannot be taken by arguments of force. The submission of the wife is her gift to her husband, in the name of the Lord!

The husband is to love his wife ‘in particular’. The word means to see her special even if she is in the crowd, to be attentive to all the details of her needs, to understand how her body and her spirit works, to be careful to avoid mistakes and hurt her; to desire her best and the fulfillment of her destiny.

Let me be more personal: When my husband and I we got married, we were both unbelievers. We did not pray. We did not go to church. Looking back, after forty years of marriage, I thank God for His mercy, His love and wisdom to us. We are now both saved and in full time ministry. I am now free to apply the principles of the Bible. I submit to my husband and I honor him for no other human reason except that I fear God. This is the truth: I fear God; I hate grieving His Spirit; I desire to please Him in all things even in my marriage. This element is new in my life. Before I got saved, I used to submit to my husband but only because he liked that attitude and it made him happy. But now it is different. All things must be done respecting God’s presence in our midst, as a form of worship and for His glory alone. In the past my husband used to tell others: ‘My wife is very good to me’. Each time he said that I was very happy. But now, he says much more than that: “My wife is a woman of God indeed!” My husband loves me as Christ loves the church. I feel secure in his love for me. My husband loves me ‘in particular’. He is attentive to my needs and he makes every moment of our marriage special and unforgettable. This is my testimony freely spoken to the glory of God!

In Christ I declare:

I left my natural parents to marry my husband (wife)!

I do not submit to anyone as I submit to my husband!

I do all things as unto the Lord!

My testimony is increasing!

To the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Col 3:19)

In Greek, the word ‘harsh’ means to be bitter, sharp, like a nail piercing the soul. It means to be rough and unpleasant to touch, ugly, selfish, rude, unromantic, thoughtless, difficult to understand, stingy, stubborn and troublesome. Such a man makes impossible demands that stretch his wife’s patience to the limit. Another way to describe such a man is this: He likes to ‘rain on somebody’s parade’. In other words, he takes pleasure to spoil the plans and the pleasure of his wife. The best example in the Bible is Nabal, the husband of Abigail. He was ‘a man harsh and evil in his doings” (1Sam 25:3)

Like Abigail, the wife needs great courage, wisdom and sacrificial love to submit to such a man. She needs to be born again and Spirit filled to succeed in such a difficult marriage. What is impossible with men it is possible with God!

Let’s remind ourselves of the truth: Marriage is God’s gift to men. But it takes a lot of work to make it successful. Often it is a struggle and the home appears to be a battle field. There are many reasons why it is so hard, especially at the beginning. The husband and the wife, each comes from different backgrounds, each has different expectations. There is also the spiritual element. The devil hates marriages for they symbolize the union and the love between Christ and the church. To have a successful marriage is great achievement. If your Christianity does not work at home, then it is fake! The husband needs to learn to love his wife. This is not an easy thing. This love has a particular pattern, to be approved by God. It is the agape sacrificial love that Christ demonstrated on earth, especially on the Cross. It is said that Eros, the sexual love says: “I take and I take!” Phileo, the friendly love says ‘I give and I take!” But Agape love simply says: “I Give and I Give” even unto death!

A harsh husband will frustrate and provoke his wife until she collapses on the floor. He only wants to take and take. She has to give and give. Without the Spirit of God working in the wife, the marriage will surely end. I know women who suffer horrors in their homes. They do everything to make their husband happy but the men remain ungrateful to the end. They treat their wives as slaves, totally careless of their feelings. They order like soldiers, from morning until night. If the women are Christians, they endure the hardship knowing that God hates divorce. I am not talking about the harems of polygamous men. I am talking about church folks who from distance look successful and happy. But the truth is different at home. I do not respect any man who constantly makes his wife cry or who mocks her in public.

This is our testimony:

My husband and I, we decided from the beginning of our marriage, that we should never argue, mock or insult one another in public. When I say ‘public’ that means anywhere outside our bedroom. Our children have never seen us arguing. My in laws or my parents have never seen us mocking or insulting one another. Never! Even if I make a mistake, my husband will not correct me openly, if there is any other person around. The same thing with me! Whatever the situation, late at night, alone in the bedroom, we sit down and discuss our mistakes, apologize, forgive one another and learn from it all. We give each other a lot of ‘credit’. For example, if I make any ‘social mistake’ my husband will think like this: ‘it is not her fault. She is a foreigner. I have to teach her what to do in the future…’ If he makes mistakes, then I find myself thinking: ‘He is tired from work, too many people phone him asking for help; he too is human…’ This is love, not to be easily provoked, to have in mind that no one is perfect and that we must all answer to God for every word we speak and for every action we take. Under provocation, I just shut down. There is no need to quarrel, no matter the situation. A servant of God does not quarrel. Period! Long ago, by faith in Christ, I have been delivered from the demon of quarrel and I am now free! Quarrels can only add reasons for regret and fuel to crisis. No matter the provocation, I refuse to lose my temper! I chose to hold on to my peace! I take the chance to be seen as a fool. That is much better than to increase my voice and become red with anger. It is not worth it! My testimony as a woman of God is too precious to me to lose it for a minute of foolish arguments. I always look ahead and not just at the present. My future is dear to me and I will not wound it with strife that has no winner. Even in the midst of crisis, if I remain calm, the Holy Spirit teaches me many lessons. Later, when things calm down, I can share them with others. These are diamonds I found in the fire of affliction and none can take them away from me. If I lose my temper, I will find nothing except dust and ashes. I hate that! The following scripture has been one of my spiritual pillars as a wife, mother and pastor. Please mediate on it:

“A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people” (2Tim 2:24)

Just in case you ask: ‘Is it possible to live this life without bitter quarrels?’ Is it possible to live in love? Is possible to maintain a pure testimony as a servant of God? Is it possible to be a successful wife living with an impossible husband? The answer is YES! It takes prayer, patience and faith! But by the grace of God and by the power of the Holy Ghost it is possible! Be filled with the Spirit and see what I mean!

In Christ I declare:

I am a child of God!

I am a servant of God!

I refuse to quarrel!

The Spirit in me is greater than the one in the world!

My life and my marriage are successful!

To the glory of God!

In Jesus name

Amen!     .

“Do not get drunk with wine, which will only ruin you; instead, be filled with the Spirit” (Eph 5:18)

This is God’s command: Be filled with the Holy Spirit! Once you become born again, do not waste time or opportunities. Obey God’s express command to be filled with the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead!

Many believers are confused about this simple command. God is not the author of confusion!

First, let me tell you what this command is not:

To be filled with the Spirit is not the same as being sealed or being baptized with the Spirit into the body of Christ. It is also not the same thing as having the Spirit indwelling in you. All these blessings are God’s work to a new born again Christian. God does not command you to be sealed, baptized or indwelt by the Spirit. For if the Holy Spirit does not dwell in you, you are not a child of God (Rom 8:9) Lastly, to be filled with the Holy Spirit is not the same experience,  like in the Old Testament, when God suddenly empowered some of His servants to perform unusual actions.

To be filled with the Holy Spirit is a command of God. God expects you to listen and obey! God gives you the power to obey it! It is not a suggestion! Your answer should be like a soldier: “YES SIR!”

This is a practical advice: Immediately you become truly saved, you shall hear the voice of the Commander of the armies of heaven, the Captain of our salvation, Jesus Christ! He says to you: “Be filled with the Spirit!” To ignore His clear command to you it means that you are proud and rebellious. This is a very serious warning to believers! The unbelievers cannot be filled with the Holy Spirit! I am addressing the danger of rebellion in the churches! Even if you look religiously humble and submissive to the pastor, if you are not filled with the Holy Spirit, you are still a rebellious man! This sin will weaken you spiritually! Not only that, but it borders on witchcraft, for you have to discover occult means to resist the filling of the Holy Spirit. Selah!

What does it mean to be filled with the Holy Spirit?

Simply said, it means to receive divine power to live a successful and fruitful Christian life. The command describes a present action. It is not just an experience in the past. It is a moment by moment yielding of your body, soul and spirit to the flood of the Holy Ghost. He will enter your very being and He will change you. This is not just a sample of the power of life. This filling is like a sponge soaked in oil, changing its weight, its color and texture until it becomes something else. This is the testimony of all saints: Except you are filled with the Holy Spirit, you will not enjoy Christianity. As an immature believer, your heart will remain carnal, more or less unchanged and the Word of God will trouble you. You need to submit, trust and love the Holy Spirit to passionately desire be filled.

I read somewhere that the most difficult traffic sign to obey is ‘Yield’. To obey red (stop) or green (go) is easier. But to yield, you have to wait and honor the bigger lane as you want to enter from the side. If you ignore the sign, you shall have accident. For the cars on a main road will not stop for you. Even if you drive a Jeep or SUV, you still have to stop and wait for the smaller cars to pass before you. It is the same spiritually. You need to humble yourself, pray, wait, cooperate and humbly enter into the flow of the Holy Spirit. Then you shall be filled. Any form of resistance or ‘going against the traffic’ ends in spiritual damage or untimely death. Selah!

What are the main (visible) signs of the filling with the Spirit of God? In two words: power and joy!!! The churches are filled with sad believers. They are weak and sad. No miracles follow. The only explanation is that they are unrepentant and rebellious. They are not filled with the Holy Spirit.

This filling is compared with being drunk with alcohol. The main thing you can say about a drunkard is that he seems happy. But this is just for a time…Another thing you observe is that a drunkard lacks self-control. Alcohol is his master. He is lead where he does not want to go. Alcohol will give him false peace, false joy and false confidence. I read that more than 50% of all crimes and rapes are done by men under the influence of alcohol. Alcohol leads to a wasted life, emptiness, bitterness, shame and guilt…what a pity…

But the difference is clear: The Holy Spirit gives you the power to live successfully. He is the Spirit of revival. He strengthens your mind to think fast and well. Your emotions will not be wild. You will love Christ and hate the devil. You will love the Bible! You will love ministry! No confusion! No delay! No procrastination! No fear! Then there is this joy that words cannot describe but you feel it and men see it. It is very attractive and beatifies the face like no other cosmetics.

Lastly, this is a practical advice from a mother: single brethren, do you want to marry? Then be filled with the Holy Spirit! That is all that it takes! There is not one single believer that I know, who is filled with the Holy Spirit and is lonely. It just does not exist! If you are wise, you will not need more words than this!

In Christ I declare:

I am born again!

I am an obedient child of God!

I am filled with the Holy Spirit of God!

To God be all the glory!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you” (PV 3:28)

Procrastination is defined as the choice to postpone an action that can be done immediately. It is a voluntarily delay even accepting the risk that postponing may worsen the matter. The reason why a man procrastinates is because he chooses to do other things that for him are less difficult or more interesting.

Procrastination is a sign of spiritual weakness. It is caused by fear, laziness, a weak will or lack of self-confidence. Postponing things that should be done today will only increase the stress and the level of anxiety. Guilt will be added and the fear of failure, of the future increases. Procrastinators have difficulty with organizing their time. They do not take the best advantage of opportunities and seasons. These feelings combined may promote further procrastination and it affects their health generally. This life style becomes a vicious circle and makes such a man to be a fool.   “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (Jam 4:17)

Felix was the Roman Procurator in Judaea. His was known as a cruel and very corrupt man. He was also famous for his lust for women and a very wasteful life. He married three times, each time for political favor or pure lust.  The best known among his wives is Drusilla. He forced her to divorce her second husband and to marry him when she was just twenty years old.

Drusilla, his wife, was a very beautiful woman. She was a member of the infamous Herod family. Her uncles killed John the Baptist and Apostle James. Her grandfather, Herod the Great killed all the baby boys in Jerusalem trying to destroy Jesus. It is on record that he was ‘a Jewess’. That means she knew the scriptures. But all this religious knowledge was only superficial. She knew the letters but rejected Christ and His Spirit. History says that after her husband was transferred she went to live at Pompey with their son. They were both killed in the eruption of Mount Vesuvius.

The Lord told Ananias of Damascus that Paul “is a chosen vessel unto Me, to bear My name before the Gentiles and kings, and the children of Israel”   Apostle Paul, as a prisoner in chains, preached to them. He did his own part.

“As Paul talked about righteousness, self-control and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and said, “That’s enough for now! You may leave. When I find it convenient, I will send for you.” (Ac 9:15; 24:25)

Paul preached to them about three basic doctrines. He told them that even if they are rich and famous, they are not right with God. They need to make peace with God. They need to repent and accept Christ, who is the righteousness of God. He also told them that the lust of the flesh is a sign of loving the world. The lustful Felix felt the conviction of God’s Spirit. Paul told them that they need the fruit of the Spirit which is true love and self-control. Lastly, Paul said that God sees everything and He will judge all sins. There is Day of Judgment and none can escape. Felix trembled at God’s Word but he refuse to obey his conscience. He told Paul that he will call him later, when it is ‘convenient’ for him. The word ‘convenient’ means when it is easier to perform or when it does not disturb my personal comfort. That time never came. He was soon transferred and never saw Paul again. There is no record that Felix or his wife Drusilla ever got saved.

I had a similar experience. About three years ago, a middle aged man, one of my husband’s friends, came to visit us. He comes from a rich family. I felt the ‘nudge’ of the Holy Spirit. I silently prayed in the Spirit for utterance. I told Him the plan of salvation found in Christ alone. I explained to him the doctrine of justification by faith alone. I told him that Christ died for his sins so that he should live eternally. I told him that he needs to be born again and not just religion. I stopped and waited. He kept quiet. I then asked him if we can pray. He said no. I asked him if he understood all I said. He answered me yes. He then repeated my ‘sermon’. Then I asked him why not praying? He said that he attends a church where he has invested a lot of money and he has many friends. Not only that, but soon the church will give him the title of a ‘knight’. Somehow he knew that Christ and ‘knights’ do not walk together. He said that he will go home and pray, and then come back to tell me his decision. He kept his word. Few days later he came and he said that he cannot accept Christ. That he is sorry… That we can still be ‘friends’… Some months later, we received an invitation for his ceremony of ‘knighthood’.

I saw him again two months ago. He is now campaigning to be a politician in our state. He looked stressed but when he saw me he tried to laugh. We greeted like old friends…. None brought the subject of Christ again…

As for me, I am sad but I have peace. I have given him the Word of life. The rest is in God’s hands.

Dear Reader, please remember: ‘Today is the day of salvation!’ We are commanded to make the best of every opportunity, to redeem the time for the days are filled with evil.

Procrastination is a demon that also affects your performance as a husband or wife. The unity of the Spirit in the marriage is very difficult to maintain. One will always be slower than the other. The spiritual agreement to pray will be lacking. The couple will encounter many unnecessary trials. There is no peace and joy in the home.

Is the destiny of your soul a joke to you? Is the Gospel of Christ Crucified just entertainment for you? Tomorrow does not belong to any of us. Whatever good you can do now, DO IT!

In Christ I declare:

I repent of the sin of procrastination!

Bu God’s grace and by the power of God’s Spirit, I will never procrastinate again!

Help me God!

In Jesus name

Amen!

“If you are not concerned about the destiny of your friend’s soul, no matter what else you do for him, you are not a friend! You are his enemy!”