MARRIAGE IS A GOOD THING (24)
“And “don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil” (Eph 4:26, 27)
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion in response to danger. Anger inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary for our survival. For example, you need some anger to go to war, or to a race and win.
Anger should not be suppressed, for then it produces internal damage. Many sicknesses are related to unresolved emotional problems. Suppressed anger becomes bitterness and grudge. These lead to high blood pressure and depression. Anger should then be expressed but not in a way of hurting others. This is a simple advice: always THINK before you speak!
Be slow to become angry and be slow to speak! Your reaction to provocation depends on the level of love you have for God and for men. For love is not easily provoked and does not intentionally hurt others. When you are angry, you feel ‘hot headed’. You sense the adrenaline rising inside you. Your very organs and your brain demand to have a voice to shout.
To remain calm under provocation is a sign of spiritual maturity. The devil wants to take control and push you to do things and say words you will surely regret. When anger controls a man, wicked lies start pouring forth. An angry man exaggerates his pain. For few minutes he will ‘shoot arrows’ to wound his enemy and to defend his territory. Nobody in his path is spared. An angry man is very dangerous. He is ready to kill another to survive. Anger is very selfish. It does not want to calm down, to go to rest, except with another round of battle. When anger gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems especially in your personal relationships. Many marriages have been destroyed by uncontrolled anger.
In marriage there will be many reasons to be provoked. For two people coming from different background to live together until they die, that is a very difficult thing to do. Often, ignorance and selfishness will rise and provoke the other. It is a battle of control over many things: the vision of the marriage, the training of the children or the finances. The devil waits for a chance to steal a piece of the show. Anger is his tool. Lies are his bait. He is an old fox and has won many battles. Please remember this: You cannot defeat the devil with natural means. You cannot keep anger under control by your human power. You need the greater power of the Holy Spirit to win this battle against the demons of anger and lies. Once you have that victory, your marriage will be a blessing to you, as God designed it to be. If not, it is more like hell on earth. Also, your spouse is not your real enemy. As believers, we do not fight against flesh and blood but against spiritual wickedness, evil forces of darkness trying to control the home. The battle is always against the invisible demons. Once you believe that and you get ready to defeat them, you shall enjoy your marriage. You need to study the Word of God and pray daily. There is no exception to this!
This is my testimony: I have learned over the years to control my anger when provoked by my husband, my children or other people. As an unbeliever I was not what you call a hot tempered woman. But occasionally, I could lose ‘my cool’ and say things that I will regret later. During provocations I will become bold and get ready to insult ‘my enemy’. I was always surprised at what I could say when angry. Normally I will not be so rude or harsh. When losing my temper I felt like wicked words were supplied to me even against my will. After I became saved, I made up my mind to control my anger. It was my personal ‘sanctification project’. I wanted to prove to my husband and to my children that it is worth it to be a born again person. I wanted them to see Christ in me, the hope of glory. In particular, I wanted God to be happy with me. I wanted God to use me as a sample of His grace, to boast about me to His enemies. Controlling anger has been a long and difficult road. But o…so worth it! I prayed that the Holy Spirit will embrace me, will immobilize me and will stop my tongue during provocation. He answered my prayer! Now, when I get angry, I suddenly feel weak and I am not able to respond with quarrels. My voice cannot rise. I try to think of angry words to say and I find none. I sense a supernatural peace inside me calming me down, reminding me that the battle belongs to the Lord! God’s manifested presence in me during provocation is my victory! Little by little, my husband and children have discovered that they shall not be rewarded with the memory of knowing ‘a crazy woman’ at home. They will not remember me full of anger and bitterness! They will remember me as a woman of God, a servant of the Prince of Peace!
To God be all the glory!
I encourage you to conquer the demon of anger and to save your marriage! By the power of the Holy Spirit, you can do it!
In Christ I declare:
I shall not let anger control me!
I uproot the devil out of my home!
My marriage is blessed!
My children are blessed!
In Jesus name