“Let your fountain be blessed and enjoy the wife of your youth…Enjoy life with the wife you love…” (PV 5:18; Ecc 9:9)
A relationship is defined as a state of connection between people; an emotional attachment between individuals. An interpersonal relationship is a strong and deep friendly connection between two or more people. It may range in duration from brief to enduring. It is based on love, family or social commitment, association at the place of work or fellowship in the church. These may be regulated by tradition, specific laws, mutual agreement, prayers or promises made to each other.
We shall now discuss the relationship between Christians and specifically in the marriage. God invented the institution of marriage. God alone has the key to a successful marriage. He gives that secret key to them who are born again and who want to know His ways in all things, including their married life. Because we are born sinners, it is very easy to take love or marriage for granted. To take for granted it means to accept or to use something or someone in a careless manner. In marriage, it means to live together, have children but without true love for one another and without giving glory to God. This is a sad but very common reality even in the Christian homes.
Human beings are created to love God and to love others. God invented marriage so that love can have a place to grow so that He can bless it. True love means to intimately know each other. This intimacy requires mature spiritual and emotional stability. Each partner needs to know himself and the other. Marriage is a deep full time work of love. A lazy man will make a bad husband. A selfish woman will make a bad wife. The fear of intimacy is poison to satisfaction in marriage. It leads to loneliness and depression even while married. In this way marriage has lost its godly purpose.
Marriage, love, friendship is not easy. There are many snares to avoid, many tests to pass. In the process of knowing one another, we fall into many temptations. Sacrificial love is risky because sin still dwells in the flesh. We dream big but we invest too little for our dreams to come true. Most lovers get disappointed in life. A relationship can be wounded superficially or very deeply. Hurts received in marriage are very painful. The wounds of betrayal, even with prayers and patience, are slow to heal. It is easy to give up and decided to be ‘on your own’. Many married couples have divorced spiritually or emotionally but they still live together. They sleep in the same bed and take care of their children. But their love got sick and died. You should know that the devil hates Christian marriages. He will fight with all his strength to destroy your home. Pray for yourself and for your spouse. Pray also for the marriage itself, for that invisible cord of the Holy Spirit between the two of you. Marriage is to be enjoyed in the presence of God. Like wine, marriage should mature with time, in the presence of God.
My husband and I we are very different in the natural. He is ‘black’ and I am ‘white’. We are from different continents and cultures. We like different types of food and different styles of fashion. We have different natural and spiritual gifts. We have different strategies of solving the challenges of life. But the unity of the Spirit is established between us! In Christ, we are one! We are married for 42 years. Not just married, but happily so. Our marriage is a challenge, an inspiration and a blessing to many. It is also a ministry that gives glory to God. Both of us have learned over the years to be spiritual, humble, grateful, hardworking, wise, strong, faithful, gentle and loving with one another. These are the fruits of the Holy Spirit working in us. We have learned to allow the Holy Spirit to be free in our lives, to change us into the image of Jesus. The secret of the success of our marriage and ministry is the Person of God the Holy Spirit. That is our secret!!! To God be all the glory!