I KNOW HE WATCHES ME

 

 

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life… about your body … O you of little faith? For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Mt 6:25-34)

 

It is more than nine weeks since I fell and broke my ankle. The cast is off, thank God! I now need to learn how to walk (again). During this trying time I had learned so many lessons. This is one of them: I need to be totally free from worry, anxiety and the fear of the future. When I was healthy and strong I ignored these fears. But now, walking slowly with crutches, these worries try to come back, try to mock me and my faith. I know that Jesus commanded me not to worry about my life or about my body.  With all my heart I want to obey His Word. But these questions pushed themselves like bullies in my mind: ‘Will I ever walk well again? Will I be able to dance? Will this wicked pain leave me? Will I be healed completely?’ I know the scriptures. But to apply them now in my life, to my surprise, it is really hard. I say ‘hard’ but not impossible! I must remember that! I want my faith to increase, not to decrease and become ‘little faith’.  I hate to damage my faith….God forbid!

 

Why worry about tomorrow? As I study myself I discover that worry comes from losing control. In the flesh, we all want to control our lives. This is the power of sin. But control must be given to the Lord Jesus Christ thru prayer and surrender. He alone ‘is able to bring everything under His control’ (Phil 3:21; NIV). In Greek, the word ‘control’ means to subdue all rebellious things and bring them under His authority. All things is created by God and they have to submit and obey their Creator. That is why we say that ‘God is in control!’

 

Unfortunately, we are deceived to think that we are like God.  We foolishly desire that all things should submit to our authority. We get angry when people around us get stubborn or rebellious. We try to teach them to submit. When things get chaotic we panic for fear of losing control. We want that everybody and everything should bow their knees to us. That is the problem! That was my problem…

 

The truth is that I am not God. All things and all people do not need to submit to me. They should submit to the Lord Jesus Christ, but not to me. If they chose rebellion, I can only pray for them and let them go. When I lose friends, I should not panic. If people betray me I should remain calm knowing that God is God. I am not in control of their decisions. When I lose my physical strength, even for a little while I should not worry, for my body does not belong to me, but to the Lord. When I lose money, I should not fret, for I cannot control all the businesses of the world. I should still trust God! During this trial of health, I had to learn humility. I remember that God is God and me is me. Truth humbles the flesh. But truth is the best medicine to heal my anxious heart and even my broken ankle. And for that, I am grateful!

 

“Dear Heavenly Father, I totally surrender to You the desire to control my life. I am sorry for trying to imagine that I am God. I can never be God. Only You alone are God!  Thank You for the lessons of love and truth. Thank You for Your mercy and peace. I rest my soul in You. I receive my healing now. To You alone be all the glory, In Jesus name, amen!”

 

“Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,

When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

 

I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,

For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me”

(Civilla D. Martin, 1905)

eye on the sparrow

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