I just finished writing today’s article called “The young men” when I received this letter in my inbox. It is from a young sister who attends our church. She is a committed born again Christian. She is about 30 years old. She is very beautiful and a little bit plump (I do not like the word fat). I know how it feels to be overweight for I have battled this issue myself for many years. Read this letter as an encouragement to all singles not to compromise in your choice for a life partner. Have no inferiority complex in the way you look. God made you and not yourself. It is good to try your best to be healthy but do not be over concerned about the way you look. All God’s children and beautiful for Jesus is beautiful! If you have any counsel for her, please comment. She will read it! God bless you all!
“Malia, I thank God that I have a spiritual mother, that I can open my heart to you without any fear or shame. God bless you Ma. I really wanted to come see you. It’s about the matters of the heart. I will try my best to explain in writing, cos it’s long. I am at the point of my life where I am confused. And I know I should not be confused, I don’t want to be confused cos it’s not of God. Recently my friend (brother …) of over 10years asked me out, initially I objected cos I’ve never seen him in that way. I like him as a friend but I don’t see us living under same roof cos I’m not attracted to him and I don’t see me being happy with him. More so as friends in the past he has always expressed his hatred for fat people; that they are disgusting in bed and are liable to die young. When I remembered all his words in the past I said no to his request. But then after much conviction from him that those were words of ignorance I told him I’ll pray about it. I prayed but did not get any answer from God so I said let me give it a try and see how it goes.
That was how we started.
Then 6 weeks ago after a wonderful service in the church, he called me on phone and started talking about me being fat. He said that he has accepted his fate to get married to a fat lady but that he hopes when I give birth I’ll be able to control my fat. Bcos I wanted to retain the anointing from the service I did not react. But after much thought days later I told him it won’t work between us. At the beginning he didn’t see anything wrong with what he said but when he saw that I was angry he then said sorry. His words hurt me and I started feeling low and ashamed of myself. Now he keeps apologizing and says that he can’t let go of me. My answer to him was that unless it is God’s will I can’t go on with him. I said that I need to pray and hear God’s will concerning this matter. But he’s disturbing and putting pressure on me for answer.
Malia, I don’t want to get married and be miserable, unhappy, frustrated and depressed. God has been so good to me and has favored me as a single, so I want marriage to be an improvement of my state now. I want to be happily married. I can’t afford to make foolish mistakes about this. Please Malia I need your counsel as my mother. Thank you Ma. Your daughter…A’
This is my answer to her:
Dear A… No need to waste time! This man is not your husband. Tell him so. Let him go. Because in the past he was an ordinary friend, now that friendship must stop too. Things have changed! That is why you are confused. As things are now, you cannot reject him as a husband and keep him as an ordinary friend. You have to stop all conversations with him. Talk to him just once that you do not want to continue any relationship with him. After that, delete his phone number. The Holy Spirit will help you. The man you will marry will appreciate you as you are. He will see you beautiful as you are now. He will not try to make you into another woman. I wish you well!
(By the way, I just wrote an article today called “The young men”. He is a ‘young man’ and he is not your Boaz. Read my write up today!)
Love in Christ alone,
(In the picture you see a beautiful ‘plus size’ bride. This is to help your dream. This is to encourage all the sisters, no matter what is your size or your complexion, to trust God for your wedding day. You shall marry your Boaz, not his ‘house boy’! You shall be a beautiful bride! You shall be happy! God will make it happen! In Jesus name, amen!)