HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT
Our women’ fellowship was very good. There was a heavy rain outside. I was personally encouraged that many of the sisters came to the church in spite of the rain. We praised God and we shared testimonies. The sermon was about the price to pay for a successful and happy marriage.
From the Bible we see that God invented marriage and God hates divorce. Marriage is God’s idea. As a pastor I counsel many women (and men) who struggle in their marriages. Many wives are ignorant of their husbands’ spiritual and physical needs. The devil takes opportunity of their ignorance and attacks their homes. That is why many marriages are like stagnant waters, dangerous, boring and unhappy. From what the Bible says and from my experience as a wife I bring to you some time tested wisdom. Dear sisters, please try to answer these questions: “What does my husband want from me? What shall I give him so that our marriage will be strong, spiritual and happy?” These are the first five qualities most of the husbands expect from their wives (in this particular order): Respect, Sexual satisfaction, Faithfulness, Friendship and Understanding.
1. RESPECT
Many women think that what men desire most of all is sex. This is a lie! The first thing men (believers and unbelievers) desire from their wives is RESPECT! In other words: dear wife, your husband wants you to respect him! Then he will be happy! Then the marriage will be better. Your home will be happier! But if you disrespect him, he will be sad or angry and you too will be unhappy. To respect it means to recognize and appreciate the value of a person. Wife, you should admire your husband. He married you! Therefore you owe him that respect! See him as a good, special, handsome and important man. Thru your words, body language, attitude and deeds, treat him like he is your ‘senior’ best friend. Do not speak badly of him to others. Do not treat him like a child. Your husband is not your baby! Encourages him to dress well! Do not be jealous! If he does a mistake and he hurts you, never correct him in public. Wait for the right time, when both of you are alone, to express your pain. Do not manipulate him with silent tears of moodiness. Before making any decision, ask him for his opinion. Cooperate with what he says. Discuss things! Keep the unity of the Spirit in the marriage in the bond of peace. To learn how to respect your husband is a difficult work but the harvest is a blessed and peaceful home. Study the Bible and pray daily! You will be wiser and stronger.
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph 5:31-33)
In this scripture you see that marriage is a spiritual mystery. It is more than a man sleeping in the same bed with his wife. A mystery is something deep, something that cannot be totally explained. If you are filled with the Holy Spirit you will appreciate the mystery of marriage and the spiritual side of your husband. To respect your husband it means that you see him thru the eyes of Christ. To ‘see your husband finish’ is disrespect. God commands your husband to ‘leave his father and mother’ and to join himself to you, his wife. This joining is spiritual and physical. Your husband may struggle with God’s command. He may be slow to obey it. He may still be connected to his parents in a way that the marriage suffers. It is easy to disrespect him for that. Many wives complain that their husbands listen to their mothers more than they listen to them. Of course this is wrong, but you cannot solve this sensitive matter by complaining or by quarreling. Pray for him, that he is able to obey God’s difficult command. As a wife, learn to be patient. It’s hard for him to disconnect and reconnect. Love and respect him even when he is struggling to be a good husband. Pity and love him. God will help you both.
God bless you with the blessings of Christ and with the gift of a wonderful marriage! In Jesus name! Amen!
Green Pastures 