‘If a man is newly married, he must not be sent to war or be pressed into any duty. For one year he is free to stay at home and bring joy to the wife he has married’ (Deut 24:5)
‘Why should your springs flow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer; may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love (may you always be captivated, exhilarated by her love… Let her surround you with her love… You should be attracted to her and stay deeply in love… Learn her ways always and think on her love… Be lost in her love forever) (PV 5:16-19)
‘The Lord is the Witness between you and the wife of your youth … God is the Witness when you made your marital vows to the wife of your youth’ (Mal 2:14)
My husband and I are married for 44 years. We have three adult children and seven grandchildren. We married as unbelievers. Later, we became saved and now we have a Bible based and blessed marriage. We are spiritual parents, pastors and mentors to many younger people. For the past two weeks we have been on a wonderful, needed and restful God’s gift to us vacation. We are now ready to come back home, to the holy work, demands and privileges of ministry.
I was thinking this morning about the lessons I have learned during this trip. One very important lesson is how much God loves us and our marriage. I am using my husband and I as point of contact but these blessings apply to all the children of God who are married or who desire to be married. From the scriptures quoted above you see that God is the ‘invisible’ but the Almighty Witness of your marriage vows. He is the Forever Faithful God. He expects faithfulness from you, the husband and the wife. When you are newly married, young and in love, you wonder why is God ‘worried’ about the danger of adultery or of our love becoming ‘lukewarm’? God is never worried but He knows the snares ahead, the wickedness of the devil and the weakness of our flesh. The truth is that Marital love is fragile. It needs nourishing, tender care and protection. Marriage is a temporary covenant. But God designed that marital love is a glorious fountain of eternal blessings, a forever treasure not measured by human words or ended by death. You must recognize the value of your love in marriage and be ready to fight to keep it hot and pure.
Read again the scriptures above. The dangers of marital love failing is ignoring it’s needs, it’s language, it’s destiny. In the Old Testament, the man who just got married was exempted for one year from going to war and having public duties placed on him. In today’s language, it means that trying to solve too many problems, even extended family’s troubles or answering old friends’ demands for entertainment upon the couple will weaken the marriage relationship. Remember that the outsiders (enemies and even friends) do not care about the level of passion of your love in the marriage. But you should care! Be careful and jealous to protect it!
God is especially interested in the marriage with ‘the wife of your youth’. My husband and I fall into this category of blessings. It is a subject I study a lot. The command to the couple is to enjoy one another! This is a practical advise: (if it is possible) marry when you are young! Then stay faithful in your marriage even when you grow old (it is possible)! It is your duty to cultivate passionate and pure love in your marriage! ‘The wife of your youth’ does not mean a young looking wife who has done cosmetic surgery to look young or one who dresses like a teenager. No! It means she is the wife that you married long ago, when both of you were younger. Time changes the size of your waist. Wrinkles appear on your face… But the love you had for each other during your youth must become stronger and brighter not faded and failing! This is God’s wish and command! The husband in particular is commanded to be attracted spiritually, emotionally, mentally and sexually by his wife, to the end of their life! He is to be attracted continuously by her internal beauty (that never grows old) and even by her external beauty (represented by her breasts, whatever size or shape these may be).
This passionate love is described as an intoxication with wine, as getting lost from the world in the safety of her embrace. Do not be afraid or ashamed to display passion among yourselves. This life long special marital love is a powerful antidote against adultery. It is an internal shield! The devil hates this love. But God loves this love and helps you keep it to the end!
Question: Dear husband, how do you keep enjoying the wife of your youth? Advice: Listen to her words! Feel her pains! Try your best to solve her problems and to encourage her! Pray for one another! Listen to the sound of your laughters! Buy gifts for one another! Like us, take some time alone, vacation time, far from the routine work at home and even far from the kids. Have time alone with each other. Talk to each other. Do not stay on the Internet for hours! Discuss new topics, interesting just for the two of you. Pay the price to learn who your spouse is, like us, even after 44 years… You will be surprised that you will discover new good things, new challenges to pray for and new gifts to share…
My husband and I have passed thru many trials in trying to keep the passion in our marital love. We had to fight many battles defending our romantic love. This warfare is not strange. It is to be expected. But we are witnesses that it is possible to marry in love and stay married in love!!! We recognize and honor the presence of God, the Holy Spirit, as the third Person not only of the Trinity but of our marriage. We have proved that ‘a three strands cord cannot easily be broken’. To God be all the glory!
Thanking God for this vacation I pray God’s blessings on all of you dear brethren who read my notes… May your marriage be better and may the wine of joy over flow in your home! In Jesus’ name!
(In the picture, my husband, Past. Richmond Leigh and I)