“You said ‘No, we will flee on horses…’ Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you. He rises to show you compassion… Blessed are all who wait for Him.” (Is 30: 16 – 18)
This is the royal road of salvation. Many holy pilgrims testify to it. From time to time, I am troubled in my soul and I do not know why. I pray and ask God to come to me. I wait for God quietly and patiently. I know that God does not tempt me. I am confident He knows that I wait. I know that He will not give me more than I can bear. I know that He is Almighty and He is Kind. It is not His fault that I find myself so troubled. I know that it is sin living in me. My problem is that I do not know what sin plagues me. I do not want to assume anything. I want God to come, to expose the very sin that troubles me. I am willing to repent. I want to repent. Just to know the truth, that is all I need…
This waiting is hard. Waiting for God to come is never easy. There is a false hope called ‘fleeing on horses.’ I become impatient with God and just go away, abandoning my position of waiting. The horses look attractive; they look strong. The horses that call me are ‘Money’ and ‘Fame’. They invite me to a life of activity, of ‘ministry’ far away from this ‘demanding’ God. My hope is that I become a master rider. I can teach others to ride them too. I can enroll in horse races and become a champion of the world. On top of a horse I look taller and more impressive with my achievements. I will look more ‘corporate,’ more ‘posh’ than others who can only afford lowly donkeys or walk on foot…
Far away from the restrains of his Father’s House, the prodigal imagines himself a champion. But this ambitious life of sin has no rest and no peace. There is no oasis in the desert of the world. When thirsty, there is no cup and no well to drink water… just a continual lust for more medals and more trophies. A sinner is a lonely champion. He kills all to climb the mountain of fame. Along the path, he makes only enemies. He has no friends. He fights to win. He has forgotten the power of love and life. Salvation and rest are strange dreams killed to feed the horses. At last, forsaken and guilty, he plants the flag of sin on top of the Everest of his own childhood selfish ambition…
Success without God will surely damage your soul. Money without God will surely dry your heart. Marriage without God will surely destroy your vision. Come back to God!
This is God’s promise: ‘Even now, I rise to show you compassion!’ I say ‘Amen, Lord! Show me compassion, according to Your promise!’
In Christ I declare:
God is merciful to me, a sinner! God loves me! God shall come to help me!
In Jesus’ name,
(From my book The Doe of the morning)