I AM QUIET, GENTLE, PRECIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1Pet 3:1-4)

MY TESTIMONY AS A WIFEI shall now boast in the Lord! My husband and I are married for almost 44 years. In Christ and by the grace of God, I declare that I am quiet, gentle, precious and beautiful! The Word of God says so! My husband says so! What others say it does not matter. I have learned over the years to speak less than my husband, especially when we are in public. For example, if he speaks 10 words, I speak maybe 3. If he is not around I can speak 8. You may joke about it, but this is the truth. I mentally count the times I open my mouth. If I do not have something good and godly to say, I am not ashamed to keep quiet. I do not have to prove that I am intelligent, anointed or educated by talking. When I talk, I make sure that I am on my husband’s ‘side’. I do not come from the opposite side. I do not stand against him spiritually speaking. I do not threaten him positionally. I am never on the side of them who argue with him, even if jokingly. If I do not understand something he says I make a mental note to ask him at home. I do not want to ask him any question while others listen to us talking. If it is an ‘emergency’ I ask him in Romanian. Thank God, most people do not understand this language. I do this because I do not want to be seen as his boss, teacher or mentor. I gladly submit to him because of God’s command. I also do not ask other men questions in my husband’s presence. I do not want to be seen as a foolish ignorant wife. That attitude will place the blame on him implying that he did not teach me well at home.You may ask… What is my ‘gain’ in all this? My gain is God’s pleasure over our home! The Holy Spirit is free to move, and work in us from inside out. Both my husband and I are ‘work in progress’ but if I obey God’s Word, the progress is faster. I love that! The devil loves to ask questions causing division, doubts, fears and confusion. I pray before I talk. I choose when to answer or when not to answer a question that is ‘thrown’ at me. My husband is the only one who has the right to ‘demand’ answers from me. No other person has the same right. Over the years, I do not regret talking too little but I regret talking too much. This strategy of keeping quiet as a wife (well… most of the time) is not legalistic or religious. It is the result of the leading of the Holy Spirit who gives me the power to choose silence when silence is the winner. Controlling your tongue is great achievement as a wife! It is not easy. But the effect of peace in the home is great! To God be all the glory!

(in the picture, my beloved husband, Richmond Sisan Leigh and I, during a trip in Italy. I wrote this note in 2016, before my husband went to heaven. The words remain true and can still bless somebody. Glory to God!)