“Many waters cannot quench the flame of love, neither can the floods drown it. If a man tried to buy it with everything he owned, he couldn’t do it” (SS 8:7)

From the Bible we see that God invented marriage and God hates divorce. Marriage is God’s idea. As a pastor I counsel many women (and men) who struggle in their marriages. Many wives are ignorant of their husbands’ spiritual and physical needs. The devil takes opportunity of their ignorance and attacks their homes. That is why many marriages are like stagnant waters, boring and unhappy. From what the Bible says and from my experience as a wife I bring to you some time tested wisdom. Dear sisters, please try to answer these questions: “What does my husband want from me? What shall I give him so that our marriage will be strong, spiritual and happy?” These are the first five qualities most of the husbands expect from their wives (in this particular order): Respect, Sexual satisfaction, Faithfulness, Friendship and Understanding. Pray about each of them!

MY TESTIMONY AS A WIFE

My husband and I are happily married for 43 years. We got married as unbelievers. Then we became saved. Now we are pastors in full time ministry. We are parents to three adult children and have six grandchildren. Inspired from the Bible and learning from my experience, by the grace of God, I am now able to teach other women. I see marriage as a gift from God. I do not ‘merit’ to be called ‘a wife’. It is not because I am beautiful or educated. Marriage is ‘a grace gift’. Because I fear God, I fear to damage my marriage. I cannot be a happy wife without the help of the Holy Spirit. I read the Bible daily. I grow in wisdom and knowledge. Therefore my marriage becomes better. I pray daily for my husband, for our children, grandchildren, for our health and ministries. I pray to see Christ in my husband (in his words and deeds). I love peace in my home. I hate quarrels and divisions. I respect my husband not only thru my words and deeds, but even in my heart. I pray to be able to see him as a holy man of God. My prayer has been answered. I like to cook for him and serve his food. I like it when he is hungry and he sits at the table patiently waiting for me to bring the food. I like it when we eat together. I like it when he compliments me for the food I cooked. I like it when he encourages me to do better. I understand him and he understands me. We love each other and we take care of each other.

I like to wake up in the morning knowing that he is my husband. I do not dream about any other man. My imagination is limited only to him. Even after all these years, I appreciate his love for me. I appreciate the fact that out of millions of women he chose me to be his wife. He has his own favorite chair at the table. If a visitor comes and by mistake he sits there, I will not allow it. If we have visitors at the table, I do not use his (particular) plate for other people. These may not be ‘big things’ but to me, these are symbols of respect.

Long ago I knew that my husband will be a man of God and I will be a pastor’s wife. I started studying the Bible with great passion. The knowledge of the Word of God is for my own soul and to help my husband. I love it when we discuss the doctrines and new revelations from the Bible. I love it when I have something good to add to the discussion. I also pray for sexual compatibility. Sex is a great blessing from God that brings happiness to any marriage. It satisfies the bodies and the souls. It brings peace in the bedroom and in the home. We are colleagues in the ministry, we are friends and we are lovers. We rejoice with one another. We ‘gist’ and laugh a lot. Time has not reduced this joy. In fact, it has made it better. The water is now wine. The ordinary taste of life has become sweet. We drink from this cup of intoxicating love and have no apologies for it. We feel old and young in the same time. We feel weak sometimes and strong most of the times. The passion to love God and one another is the holy fire that keeps burning in our home, making it safe and secure. No man or devil can quench it.

May God bless you with the blessings of Christ and with the gift of a wonderful ever sweeter marriage! In Jesus name!

(I wrote these words in 2017. My beloved husband went to heaven, suddenly, in July, 2020. Since then my life has changed in some ways… But my passion for our Lord Jesus Christ and for the memory of my husband is getting stronger with time. “Many waters cannot quench true love…” (SS 8:7). The words I wrote then are still true and helpful to other married couples. Read and be blessed! And give God all the glory!)