A dear sister in Christ, a faithful worshipper of God, a godly wife and mother needs your prayers! She and her husband are led by the Holy Spirit to start a private business, a shop. They are almost there but not there yet. She sent me a note saying that they have to take away from their last savings. This is a work of faith. Both of them want not just a shop but a testimony too. I told them that God will not put them to shame!
“For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in Him will not be put to shame!” (Rom 10:11)
This is her note to me this morning: “Dear Malia, We are now going to pull the money from our last resort fund… I’m sharing this with you because I see my heart beating like normal. Only GOD could’ve done this work in me. I used to be so fearful of being poor, not having any money, taking our kids on a dangerous ride… but the truth is… a life without trust in Jesus is dangerously comfortable in a lie. The lie is that it is your job that provides for you, or it is you that works hard to provide for you. But now I see that everything I own is from my Father in heaven, and I have great peace in knowing that He is with us. So watch me as I leap into His arms. I am confident that He will catch me. Here we go!”
Dear intercessors, please pray for them, that they will continue to remain faithful to God’s leading; that they will be re-filled with the Holy Spirit; that Jehovah Jireh will supply all that is necessary for them to start their shop. They have vowed to give God all the glory for their success! I use these couple as a point of contact that God will increase the blessings on you, as you pray for them! You too will open a shop and use it as a testimony giving glory to God! In Jesus’ name!

Recently, my husband and I (and some brethren from our church) we had an interesting trip to South Korea and Japan. We visited many beautiful places in these countries. Today I shall tell you some of my observations about the city of Nagasaki, Japan. Since I was a child I heard of Hiroshima and Nagasaki destroyed by atomic bombs at the end of the second world war. I was excited to see Nagasaki. These are some general information about the city itself.

Japan is one of the most developed countries in the world. We were amazed at the technology over there. In the same time, it is one of the least evangelized countries in the world. Christianity in Japan is among the nation’s minority religions. Around 1 % of the population claims Christian belief or affiliation. Most large Christian denominations, including Roman Catholicism, Protestantism are represented in Japan today. Since the mid-1990s, majority of Japanese people are nonreligious. Majority of the churches have less the 30 adults in attendance during services (Clearly, we need to pray for Japan!).

The word Nagasaki in Japanese means ‘covered by a long cape or a wrapped in a mantle’. Interestingly, the city is surrounded by hills that helped protect the people during the bombing. They absorbed much of the shock. Because of that the destruction in Nagasaki was less than the one in Hiroshima. Nagasaki was and still is ‘the Christian capital of Japan’! Christianity first arrived in Japan in 1549, when the Jesuit missionary Francis Xavier landed in the port of Nagasaki. The native Japanese accepted the Christian faith and Nagasaki became one of Asia’s most important Christian centers known as “a little Rome.” In 1614, a strict ban on Christianity was issued. Churches were destroyed, and Christians in Japan faced various possibilities. Some suffered exile, forbidden from ever returning. Others were martyred, refusing to renounce their faith despite, in many cases, being severely tortured.

By the 1640s, not a single priest was left in the whole of Japan. Christians in Nagasaki realized that if they, too, were to die as martyrs, the Japanese church would die with them. As persecution raged and the prospect of the Christian faith’s complete eradication from Japan became imminent, these Christians made a decision that was to have dramatic consequences over two centuries later: to continue their faith in secret. The story of the underground church is one of suffering. Throughout the ban on Christianity in Japan, people in Nagasaki were required at an annual ceremony to trample on an image of Christ or the Virgin Mary, known as a fumie, to prove they were not Christian. These ceremonies haunted the imaginations of the secret Christians, who were without priests to absolve them. Every year they would creep home and utter penitential prayers, begging God to forgive them for what was called “this most necessary of sins” (To deny Christ in public but holding to Him in the heart).

Following the opening of Japan in the mid-19th century, a Catholic church was erected in Nagasaki, the first to be built there since before the ban on Christianity. This ban remained strictly in force, and permission for the church was granted on the understanding that it was solely for use by foreigners residing within Nagasaki’s newly established foreign settlement. It was called the Oura Church. Among the secret Christians, there was silent rejoicing. By that point, they had been underground for over two hundred years. On March 17, 1865, a small group of them gathered courage and approached the church. Here they met a French priest named Father Petitjean. Kneeling before him, one whispered: “All of us have the same heart as you.” They then asked the stunned priest “Where is the statue of Saint Mary?” This moving episode became known as the “Discovery of Christians,” and today the same statue of the Virgin Mary that Father Petitjean showed them can still be seen inside the church. In the wake of this event, thousands more of secret Christians from across the Nagasaki region also came forward and confessed their faith. Later, five more churches were built in the city. Nagasaki’s churches and Christian sites are called UNESCO heritage sites. Many Christians come to see them as a form of pilgrimage. The ground they were built upon is red, from the blood shed by many Christians who refused to backslide under persecution and were martyred publicly. Their testimonies speak to us today of a resurrection that had once seemed impossible. They stand as symbols of hope, inviting us to reflect upon the power of the Blood of Jesus and the Spirit of resurrection! They encourage us to hold on to our faith, the patiently endure to the end, no matter the trials of this world! Oh, the amazing grace of God! To God be all the glory!

“And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death” (Rev 12:11)

(In the picture, my husband and I, in front of the oldest Church in Nagasaki, The Oura Church, built in 1853, a national treasure in Japan. It was designed by Father Petijean. It survived even the bombing in 1945. Many secret Japanese Christians hid and came to this church during the persecution. It is also known as ‘The Church of the 26 Japanese Martyrs’. In the second picture, the interior of Oura Church)

Many years ago, there was a man who lived in Bristol, England by the name of George Mueller. To give you some insight to what kind of man Mueller was, he was a mentor to the great preacher Charles Spurgeon who would call upon to come and preach in his church.
Mueller is known for many things. He established several orphanages and it’s estimated that he ministered to over 10,000 children during his lifetime. He pastored the same church for 66 years and at age 70 he became a missionary. He finally retired at age 87. He died at 92. He cared for 10,024 orphans during his lifetime and provided educational opportunities for the orphans to the point that he was even accused by some rich politicians of raising the poor above their natural station in British life. He established 117 schools which offered Christian education to more than 120,000. In addition, he is known as being a man of prayer and faith. It is estimated that Mueller raised millions of dollars (in today’s currency) to support his orphanages, and never directly asked anyone for a dime. He did it all by prayer.
Through all this, Müller never made requests for financial support, nor did he go into debt, even though the five homes cost more than £100,000 to build. Many times, he received unsolicited food donations only hours before they were needed to feed the children, further strengthening his faith in God. Müller was in constant prayer that God touch the hearts of donors to make provisions for the orphans. For example, on one well-documented occasion, thanks was given for breakfast when all the children were sitting at the table even though there was nothing to eat in the house. As they finished praying, the baker knocked on the door with sufficient fresh bread to feed everyone, and the milkman gave them plenty of fresh milk because his cart broke down in front of the orphanage
He is also known as someone who strived to be in the very center of God’s will. Several years ago, I read a biography about Mueller and I remember it saying that he often read the Bible while on his knees. By the way, he read through the entire Bible over 200 times. Rather than dreaming a dream and then asking God to bless it, Mueller went to God’s Word in order to seek God’s will and then he prayed for the strength to do it. One day he read that God desired to be a father to the fatherless and from that Mueller concluded that it was God’s will for someone to take care of orphaned children and on that principle, he by faith, built his orphanages.
At one time Mueller wrote out several principles for seeking God’s will. His number one Principle was – “Surrender your own will to God’s will! He said: “When I pray for something, I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to that given matter. Nine-tenths of the trouble with people generally is just here. Nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the Lord’s will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is. Then God answers the request speedily!”
George Müller prayed about everything and expected each prayer to be answered. We all have needs! May his faith in God inspire all of us! In Jesus’ name! Amen!
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families; He leads out the prisoners with singing” (Ps 68:5,6)

(In the pictures are George Muller’s orphanages)

My husband and I (and some brethren from our church) went on ‘a trip of a lifetime’, as they say. We went to South Korea and Japan. These are countries in the far east with different cultures and attitudes to life than what we were used to. These are very beautiful and clean countries. They both suffered a lot in the past from terrible wars. Many people died! But after much pain they decided to rise again ‘from the ashes’ of sufferings. Most of their development is recent. Together as a people, they decided to leave the ugly past behind and to move on! This is a good story for any person, family or country!
(Just a note: I live in Nigeria. I love Nigeria! My husband and I are pastors in Nigeria. I am not saying that these countries are better than Nigeria. They are just different. As I do not compare people, I also do not compare countries. Each place on earth, each tribe, family and people are uniquely created by the same God. The political, religious and cultural systems may be different but people are people everywhere. Some are good and some are bad. That is the truth!)
After a long flight, we arrived in Seoul on a Saturday. The next day we attended the third service at the famous Yoido Full Gospel Church. (Each Sunday they have seven services.) This is a Pentecostal church affiliated with the Assemblies of God in Seoul, South Korea. With about 800,000 active members it is the largest Pentecostal Christian congregation in South Korea and one of the biggest in the world. Founded by David Yonggi Cho in 1958, the church is presently led by Young Hoon Lee. The building is large enough to seat 12,000 people, with overflow sent to the nearby buildings, where congregants watch events in the main church on telescreens.
We sat at the special place given to foreigners. The sermon was in Korean. They gave us earphones and we listened to the sermon translated in English. They were more old people in the congregation than young. Of course, this is very different than in Nigeria where I am a pastor. The praise session was good. There was a big choir who sang hymns in Korean. The worshippers sang with all their hearts. The presence of the Holy Spirit was evident. The sermon was also good. It was preached by Pastor Y. H. Lee with boldness and anointing. He has a very good tenor voice. From time to time he stopped the preaching to praise God with songs. I especially loved a chorus about our Salvation in Christ. “For I dream that at last I shall look on His face! Oh, this wonderful dream is a secret of grace!” Well said!
The sermon was inspired from the Book of Jeremiah 29. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jer 29:11-13). Pastor Lee encouraged all people to seek God until He is found. He led the congregation in prayers for the peace and the prosperity of their country. We observed that the people in Seoul have quite a high level of anxiety concerning their future. Many are on antidepressants, the pastor said. This stress is mostly because of the threat coming from their neighbor, North Korea. Technically, the two Koreas are still at war. The pastor directed their attention to God who alone can protect them. At the end of the service we went with other ‘first timers’ to be greeted by their protocol staff. It was a good Sunday service!
Each time we travel we miss the church services at home. But we know that it is good to visit other assemblies in other parts of the world. The language, the way of dressing and the style of service may be different, but The Spirit and the Body of Christ is One! Praise the Lord!
May God bless the people of North and South Korea! May they come to know the Lord Jesus Christ! May there be peace and prosperity in that region of the world! May God bless the true brethren in these countries! In Jesus’ name! Amen!
(I took some pictures of the church and of the congregation during the service. One of the brethren took a picture of my husband and I as we listened to the sermon. These are memories we shall treasure for a lifetime)

The welfare state is a form of government in which the state protects and promotes the economic and social well-being of the citizens, based upon the principles of equal opportunity, equitable distribution of wealth, and public responsibility for citizens unable to avail themselves of the minimal provisions for a good life. It is part of democratic or capitalistic form of government. The duty of the Government is to protect and provide for its citizens. The Government builds schools, roads, pays police. This help is for the benefit of all and not for private citizens. Child of God, no government will help you dream and sponsor your dream for a better life. That personal dream is given to you by God! It must be fulfilled by you, working hard, and with the help of God! As salvation is personal so the blessings of God are personal. The Government of any nation does not invest in personal dreams. That is the work of God!

The effects of being on welfare:
*Poverty is a cycle. It must be broken. If not, it will continue!
*Being on welfare is a trap. It affects the spirit negatively. The earlier you go back to work, the better!
*There is a connection between welfare dependency and psychological distress. Even being a short time on welfare has a long-time effect upon the recipients. For many years they feel poor, anxious and guilty. They blame themselves for their poverty; they have inferiority complexes, low self-esteem. This feelings affect the women more than the men!
*Being on a welfare status affects the children. The children too have low self-esteem. They are afraid to dream for a better life; they have less desire to go to school; they want to experience sex early; they want to marry early, be pregnant early (even out of wedlock). When the children are small, they do not know the difference. But when they are in middle school, they start comparing themselves with other children from homes where the parents work and have money and time to take the children to school or after school activities. That is when the inferiority complexes start. The parents who work take interests in their children. They help them to dream imaging a better future. They encourage their children by sponsoring their dreams. But in welfare homes, the parents discourage the children to dream because they cannot afford the money to sponsor. Dreams for a better life seem like a luxury they cannot afford.

The children who grow up in homes who depend on welfare are 3 times more likely to end on welfare themselves when they become adults. ‘Welfare attitude’ is addictive. Many of the children from homes depending of welfare end having low paid jobs, troubled by what is called ‘poverty mentality’. Living ‘from hand to mouth’ kills the creative spirit in the children. Even when they have money later, they still feel poor and ugly. May God help us!

My prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, we pray for mercy and wisdom from You. We ask for forgiveness for indulging in a poverty mentality, in a beggarly attitude. We ask for forgiveness for allowing doubt to dictate our destiny. We ask for the grace of a new beginning. We destroy the connection with the demonic negative mind sets! May we be free from demonic poverty and occult hopelessness. We break the comfort zone of just surviving. We ask for the blessing of living godly and abundantly! We bless our children. May their lives be better than ours! May their God given dreams come true! We plead the Blood of Jesus upon our lives, marriages and children! We shall not beg for bread! Our children shall not beg for bread to eat! God give us good business and the strength to work hard with our hands! Holy Spirit please come and take control! We vow to give You alone all the glory for the promised miraculous provision and prosperity! In Jesus’ name we pray, amen!

“I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread. He is ever merciful, and lends; And his descendants are blessed” (Ps 37:25, 26)

“The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul…” (Ps 23:1-3)

A sheep that has rolled over on its back is called a “cast sheep’. It can’t get up because its center of gravity is off, sometimes because it’s pregnant or simply because it has a full fleece. Once fallen, a cast sheep tries to restore itself back on its feet. But it is not easy. The sheep then panics, cries for fear and waste more energy. The gasses start to build up in the abdomen and it can die in a matter of hours. A wild animal can come and kill the defenseless sheep. Most of the times, the sheep is not be able to get up without assistance. That is why the shepherd must be very observant to know when a sheep is missing. It is the shepherd or his trained dogs that can turn a cast sheep back on its feet. The process seems rough, but it saves the sheep’s life. Once the sheep stands, she still needs to be supported for few minutes. The shepherd holds it between his legs until it stops shaking, until the fear is gone, and it is balanced again. After that, the sheep is free!

David was a shepherd. He knew the danger of staying downcast, spiritually ‘upside down’ for too long, just like a cast sheep… “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Ps 43:5). The word ‘downcast’ describes a cast sheep. His soul is upside down, helpless, depressed, anxious, sinking down in despair. The danger for a sheep to lose its balance and to overturn is higher when it is pregnant, or the fleece is too heavy. Spiritually speaking, our soul is in danger of backsliding when we become fruitful or too comfortable in our blessings. The devil attacks in both situations especially with an evil spirit of pride. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (PV 16:18). Never forget! Pride will make you fall! Pride will make you backslide! Pride is extremely difficult to detect. God allows us to fall a little, to stumble, so that He exposes the hidden pride. repent and become humble servants!

MY TESTIMONY
This is my testimony: when I become proud, I start falling spiritually. Suddenly, my life becomes ‘upside down’. Just like a cast sheep, I panic, trying to save myself. My soul becomes ‘disturbed within’. This word means trouble, war, noisy voices and arguments inside my soul. I lose my peace and spiritual balance. I feel hopeless and confused. The more I struggle to restore myself back on my feet, the worse things become, inside and outside. That is when I must exercise self-control. I must stop this crazy, frantic, lonely struggle. I pray! I must remind myself that I am not alone. I belong to Somebody! I have a Shepherd! Elohim, the Creator of the Heavens and the earth is my God! Jesus is my Shepherd! I shall not want…There is hope for me!!I I shall praise God again in the sanctuary…I cannot die as a backslider…God forbid! I claim God’s promise: God will “restore my soul”…I shall humble myself and wait on God…He knows all things…He knows that I am missing from the fold…He said that He will leave 99 sheep to look for me alone, even if I am lost in the ‘bush’…He shall find me and bring me back to His flock where I belong… I am not a wild animal. I am a domesticated sheep. I love my home, my family, my marriage and my church! I am not a ‘street woman’! encourage myself thru the Word of God! I call on Jesus! This encouragement has never failed me! Praise God!

My prayer: “I need You Lord Jesus…I trust in You, Savior…I humble myself…Forgive me for my foolish pride…Please come to help me…I cannot live alone…Nothing else can satisfy but You…No one else can restore my soul, except You…I love You more than any human on earth, more than my own life…I promise never to go astray…Holy Spirit fill me afresh…Thank You Jesus… Thank You my Lord…All the glory goes to You alone!”

In Christ I declare:
The Lord is my Shepherd! I shall not want! My soul is restored! My health is restored! My marriage is restored! My ministry is restored! My finances are restored! My peace, joy, strength and wisdom are restored! To the glory of God! In Jesus’ name!

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Our church is in Warri/Effurun Nigeira!

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Gal 2:20)

I was born in Communist Romania (in 1954). Like most of my contemporaries I was a convinced atheist. We were thought in school that there is no God, no devil, no heaven or hell. We were also told that there is nothing like the ‘spirit world’. We are to work very hard and leave something to our children. That was life as it was explained to us. I believed it! I met Richmond, who is now my husband (and who is a Nigerian) in the medical school. We were class mates. We got married husband and I came to Nigeria with him in 1980. We both worked as doctors here between 1980 and 2000. When I came here, I was surprised how religious the Nigerians were (Christian, Muslim and Pagan). I saw their religion as an effect of illiteracy and poverty. I ignored, resisted and rejected the religion of my patients. But against all odds, the Holy Spirit arrested me! He convicted me of my sins, especially of pride, unbelief and self righteousness.

I became saved in 1986. The old me died on that Cross where my Savior shed His Blood for me. The Holy Spirit filled me! Since then, my new life is a testimony to the grace and the power of the only Living God! My husband and I are in full time ministry now! This is the truth: no religion, no doctrine, no teaching, no philosophy or social theory can stand against the name of Jesus Christ! To God be all the glory!

WONDERFUL SERMON PREACHED BY PASTOR RICHMOND LEIGH, MY HUSBAND!

Pastor Richmond Leigh continued preaching on the topic of ‘Marriage’. His text was taken from the Book of Ephesians. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph 5:25-33; NKJ).

Today, Pastor Richmond Leigh addressed the husbands. He said that the great Apostle Paul made some remarkable statements here. He tells us what Christ has done for the Church and why He has done it. From this he deducts what is the duty of the husband towards his wife. He says that just as there is a mystical union between Christ and the Church, so the husband and wife must be united! The union between Christ and His Body is a mystery. In a similar way the union between husband and his wife is both spiritual and physical. This is also a mystery.

These revelations about marriage are based on the Word of God only! These are spiritual matters that are absolutely essential to our marriage relationship, that it may be successful! But there are other matters, though important, but not absolutely essential to the success of marriage. In these series we are dealing only with the spiritual matters that are absolutely essential to the success of our marriages. Once you seek God in your marriage, thru the study of His Word and prayer, every other thing will fall in its place! This is the Word of God!

In the days of the Apostles, there were three Greek words translated as ‘love’: eros, phileo and agape. The first one is ‘eros’. It describes the erotic lustful ‘love’ of the flesh. It comes from the Adamic nature. It is selfish, sensual and very hard to control. This word does not appear in the New Testament but it is implied. This is the word that today describes a man ‘falling in love’ with a woman.

The second word is ‘phileo’. It describes the love between brothers, sisters or friends. It is better translated ‘I am fond of you’. It is the root of words as philanthropy (Helping your brother) or Philadelphia (Brotherly love).

The third word translated ‘love’ is ‘agape’. This describes the sacrificial love of Christ. Each time the Bible says that ‘God loves us’, it uses the agape love. It is the love of the true shepherd who gives his life for the sheep. For example: “God demonstrates His own (agape) love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5:8). As sinners we deserved punishment, to be tyrannized, but the agape love of God sent Christ to die for us. This is love! Not to punish and destroy, but to redeem! The husband must love his wife in the same way. Not to look for her faults and punish, but to teach his wife, to help her and show her mercy no matter what her weakness is. As you can see, the New Testament raises the standard of love to a greater height. Agape love is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in the soul of the believer (Gal 5:22). The husband must love his wife like God loves him. Please notice that this type of love does not exist in the unbelieving husband. The man who is not saved cannot exercise this type of love. The command to love like Christ loves the church is given only to the believing husband. God will not ask you to do what you are incapable of doing! But to exercise agape love the husband must be filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph 5:18). Practically, one of the ways a man can show that he is born again and filled with the Holy Spirit is the way he behaves towards his wife, when they are at home. This is test! Look at the countenance of a man’s wife and you will know the truth about the husband!

The first injunction to the husbands is this: “Husbands, love your wives!” This love is the great emphasis in the godly marriage. Please observe that love is an injunction. It is God’s command to the married men! In respect to the wives, the controlling attitude is submission. The controlling idea to the husbands is love! In other words, for a marriage to be successful, the wives must submit and the husbands must love! That does not mean that the wives should not love their husbands or that the husbands should never submit to the counsel of their wives. Submission and love are both basic spiritual attitudes in the Kingdom of God and must be observed by all.

Describing the love of the husband towards his wife, the Apostle Paul does not rule out the other two elements of love: eros and phileo. There are many Christians who are in trouble over this matter. The Roman Catholic doctrine of celibacy is ultimately based on this misconception. They insist that all priests must be celibate unto death. They seem to think that the Christian is no longer human; he no longer has natural desires. They regard sex as evil. That is a wrong doctrine. The reason why they went astray is because they do not understand the doctrine of the union of the believer and Christ. This is the truth: in Christ, the believer has been crucified, died, been buried and raised with Christ! He is now seated in the heavenly places with Christ. This spiritual amazing union applies to our souls only. Our ‘mortal bodies; are not crucified with Christ. Sin lies in the body. By the power of the Holy Spirit, we are commanded to sanctify, to mortify, to kill the misdeeds of the body of sin. “If you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Rom 8:13). According to the Bible, sex is created by God, for procreation and for pleasure. It is to be used only within the boundaries of marriage. The devil did not create sex. God di it! But all sexual activities outside marriage are sinful and are prohibited.

The natural man cannot receive or manifest the agape love. These scriptures are also a warning against marrying unbelievers! No matter how nice, generous and religious they seem to be, the unbelieving husbands can never love their wives with this supernatural agape love of God! Agape love is a fruit of the Holy Spirit found only in the children of God. Husbands, you must be born again and filled with the Holy Spirit to be able to love your wives with this sacrificial agape love that never fails! Then your wives will submit to you without fear. This is the Bible’s ‘formula’ of success for all godly marriages!

In the marriage, the phileo love must manifest too. Husband, you must not only love your wife, but you must like her as a person! Your wife must be your friend too! You cannot marry a woman that you hate to spend time with. You must like her character, as friend likes a friend. You cannot ignore certain natural affinities. Study each other during the period of courtship. If two people marry based on eros love alone, that marriage will soon fall apart. The effect of phileo love lasts much longer than that of eros love. No matter how great the passion of sexual love, it is good that the people who get married should have similar affinities and enjoy doing things together. The phileo love has a lasting calming effect to the marriage. But never forget! The greatest love of all is agape love. This love will sanctify the eros and the phileo love in the marriage. “Agape Love suffers long and is kind… bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” (1Cor 13: 4-8). Worship the Lord!

“Test the spirits for not all are from God!” (1Jn 4:1)
The Volucella is an insect that has a strong resemblance to the humble bee. She too eats the nectar of flowers. She abuses this resemblance to introduce herself fraudulently into the bee nests and she deposits her eggs there. The bees do not seem to identify the foreign insects. It looks like they trust them, for they meet on top of flowers, eating the same nectar and becoming friends over there. When the eggs of Volucella have hatched, their larvae, which have two mandibles, devour the larvae of their hosts, the bees. The visitor’s children kill the host’s children! Can you imagine that? This is the return they make for the hospitality they have received!
What is the lesson? Not all ‘Christians’ are truly Christians! The church is always a ‘mixed multitude’. There are many unbelievers who are very religious, very gifted, generous, hard working, humble in appearance and nice in manners! Only the Holy Spirit knows the difference between the genuine and the fake! This is my advice: be slow to make friends! Pray about every person you want to call ‘friend’! Look for ‘quality’ and not for ‘quantity’. Do not live in fear or in isolation, but be careful! There are many false brethren, false prophets and deceivers! They take advantage of your kindness, loneliness and hospitality! They are also fast in detecting your foolishness or ignorance! Soon, they come to parasite your home, changing its spiritual atmosphere by bringing strange, poisonous ideas. Be careful with the people you trust with the vision of your life, with your prayer requests, or people you call friends! Be careful with the people you open your heart to and tell your most intimate desires!
This is my prayer for you: The Holy Spirit will help you to locate the true believers, the real friends and the faithful humble helpers in your ministry! In Jesus’ name!

(In the picture you see the fake ‘bee’ called Volucella)

”For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2Tim 1:7)

“She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet” (PV 31:21)

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror” (1Peter 3:1-6)

The women’ fellowship was very good. It was raining hard outside but the sisters came to hear the word of God. We prayed and praised God! The sermon was about fear. We identified it as our enemy, confronted and rejected it, in the name of Jesus!

Fear is a very common emotion. Fear is defined as a strong emotion caused by a perceived danger. Both men and women fear many things and situations. Their responses fall into two basic categories: fight or flight. Most of the time men fight the enemy and women run away from him. As wives we are commanded to submit to our own husbands in the way Sarah submitted to Abraham, calling him ‘lord’. But there is a condition! In this submission we must learn to ‘do good and not be afraid with any terror’. It means that godly submission in marriage is not slavery, it is not defeat, cowardice or foolishness. It is godly humility, strength, love and wisdom.

What type of possible fear did Sarah experience? Sarah’s greatest fear was that God’s promise to them to have a son will fail. It is possible that she feared getting old and die as a barren woman. Another fear that she may have experienced, especially after Hagar got pregnant for her husband, was that she will be replaced by a younger (prettier) woman. For a long time, the fear of being disgraced as a barren wife, the fear of divorce, of rejection and of missing destiny, was probably the source of terrible torment for her. Sarah confronted became free from these fears. As women of God, we are commanded to do the same. To submit to our husbands, to continue to do good and to be free from these fears.

The most common fears that women experience are these:
*The fear of rejection, of disrespect and of not being liked!
*The fear of public speaking, of not being able to speak for your rights!
*The fear of working too much and neglecting the family, especially the children!
*The fear of divorce, of losing relationships and friendships!
*The fear of getting fat!
*The fear of being single, of not getting married and not having children!
*The fear of poverty!
*The fear of getting old and lonely!
*The fear of visibility, of being wealthy and successful; of being in a position where you cannot hide!
*The fear that your husband will betray you and commit adultery! The fear of divorce!
*The fear of men attacking you physically or being raped!
*The fear of losing your dreams, of ‘not making heaven’ or failure in life!
*The fear of being judged for your appearance, fashion style, of being a wife or mother!
*The fear of death, the last fear you must conquer!

The antidote to all these fears is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, who will bring the healthy fear of God! Be filled with the Holy Spirit! Be free from bondage fears! You are a child of God!

“Kings will be like fathers to you; queens will be like mothers… Then you will know that I am the LORD; no one who waits for My help will be disappointed.” (Is 49:23)

I was a natural mother to my daughter for 25 years. On her 25th birthday I knew that my time as a mother came to an end. I prayed for wisdom. The Holy Spirit said that I should lay down my labor of love as a mother to His altar. I did not understand. It was hard to understand. But I obeyed. The sacrifice was accepted. Suddenly, like dew from heaven, a new grace came upon me. From that time on, I became a spiritual mother to my daughter. She lives far away from us. But distance and the passing of time is not a barrier to this ever fresh relationship. We both grow in grace. This unity of the Spirit gets stronger ever day. I have a new vision of motherhood. God has enlarged my heart to accommodate and love many ‘children’ who call me Malia. All these holy fruits grow in the light of His presence and for His glory! This is my story, this is my song!

“If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best of the land” (Is 1:19)
You shall not die a tenant!
You shall live in your own house!
In Jesus’ name,
Amen!

Jacob DeShazer (1912-2008) was born in Oregon (USA), in a Christian family. He later rejected his parents’ faith. In 1942, during the World War II, he enlisted in the Air Force. He was on board the ‘USS Hornet’ in the Pacific Ocean preparing for the attack against Japan.  The Easter service was held inside the aircraft’s carrier. All men attended it but he refused. After that, they took off and they threw the bombs on the city of Nagoya, Japan. This attack called ‘The Doolitle raid’ was designed to be ‘one way trip’. The men in the plane were to land with parachutes over the neutral China. Unfortunately, the plane strayed over Japan territory and Jacob was taken as a prisoner of war by the Japanese. The next three years were hell on earth for Jacob and his mates who survived. They were tortured to make confessions and kept for months in solitary confinement. Several were publicly executed. Jacob survived by cultivating an intense hatred against the Japanese. He planned that one day he will avenge himself.  He and others were later transferred to a prison in China. They were given food just enough to survive. The prison officers also gave them a Bible. They shared it among themselves. Because he was so lonely and bored, when it came to his turn to have the Bible, he read it from Genesis to Revelation. When he read Romans 10:9, the Holy Spirit opened his heart and he believed. “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom 10:9). This is how he became saved. He repented of all his sins and confessed them to others. He knew the joy of forgiveness and peace with God. He later wrote: “How my heart rejoiced in my newness of spiritual life, even though my body was still suffering so terribly from the physical beatings and lack of food”. In the lowest depth of agony, God has given life to Jacob DeShazer’s soul! Praise the Lord!

His life now changed. He asks God for gifts to serve Him. The Holy Spirit gave him first the gift of prayer. He spent much of his time in the cell praying for the prison guards and for the Japanese people in general. His conversion included learning a few words of Japanese and treating his captors with respect, which resulted in the guards reacting in a similar fashion. Everybody heard about this prisoner called Jacob. In the past, when the guards beat him he will insult them. Now he will bless them and tell them words of love! After the war, he went back to the US. The American Government decorated him with many medals. He enrolled into a Bible college affiliated with the Free Methodist denomination, preparing himself to go back to Japan as a missionary. He married a wonderful Christian woman called Florence and in 1948 they both went to Japan as missionaries.  In 1959, they moved to Nagoya to establish a Christian church in the city he had bombed. After the bombing, Nagoya was rebuild.

He wrote Christian tracts. He later met the Japanese Captain Mitsuo Fuchida who bombed the Americans at Pearl Harbor. He became converted too after reading Jacob’s conversion. Together, they preached the Gospel of Christ in many places.   Theirs was a lifelong friendship. I find that to be especially beautiful…that one of the main participants of the Doolitte raid would befriend the leader of the attack on Pearl Harbor whose actions resulted in the deaths of 2,403 Americans. Fuchida went on and became a missionary to Asia. When he died in 1977 his close friend, Jacob DeShazer led the funeral, gave a sermon and said goodbye to his close friend.

DeShazer retired after 30 years of missionary service in Japan and went back to his home town in Salem, Oregon where he spent the last years of his life in an assisted living home with his wife, Florence. On 15 March 2008, DeShazer died in his sleep at the age of 95, leaving his wife and five children: Paul, John, Mark, Carol, and Ruth. At his funeral service it was said:  “At this time in our history, we feel it is ideal to honor a man who was a genuine war hero, [but] who after his sacrificial service put on gloves of peace, and touched the entire world with grace and humility.” God alone takes all the glory for such a wonderful salvation!

(In the Pictures, The bombing over Nagoya, Jacob and Florence DeShazer going to Japan as missionaries, Jacob doing evangelism in Nagoya, Japan and the City of Nagoya as it is today)

Spiritually speaking, courtship is right and dating is wrong. What are the basic differences?

Courtship is a relationship between a man and a woman in which they seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other. Under the protection, guidance, and blessing of parents or mentors, the couple concentrates on developing a deep friendship that could lead to marriage, as they discern their readiness for marriage and God’s timing for their marriage. Courtship is a choice to avoid temptation and experience the blessings of purity. It is a choice to not emotionally give away your heart, piece by piece, to many others through casual dating relationships and instead to give your whole heart to your life partner. It is a choice to wait for God’s best, for His glory. It is a decision to walk by faith, to trust in God, to honor others above yourself, and to believe that God will deal bountifully with you, because He is love. (2 Cor 5:7, Rom 12:10, 1 Jn 4:8).

If, during the courtship, one or both parties realize that marriage is not God’s will and they end the relationship, the courtship has not failed. On the contrary, the courtship was successful, because God gave the direction that was sought through it. Although the termination of a courtship most likely will be painful, damage and hurt—which can lead to bitterness—can be avoided. Both parties, as well as their families and all the people who love them, should continue to trust in the Lord and accept the grace He gives to deal with any disappointment or unfulfilled hopes.

The main difference between Dating and Courtship is in the Purpose of the Relationship. Ask yourselves this question: what are the goals to be reached by spending time with a potential marriage partner? Men and women who choose to date often have no commitment to consider marrying the other person. Maturity and readiness for marriage are not considerations in the decision to date. Instead, couples usually date with the selfish goals of having fun and enjoying romantic attachments.

In contrast, courtship is undertaken only when both parties are prepared to make a commitment to marriage. Dating tries to answer the question, ‘how can I find the one who will make me happy’? Courtship strives to answer the question, ‘how can I honor God and discern His direction regarding my life partner’?

In a dating relationship, there is little if any accountability for the couple and little or no interaction with family members. The dating couple is merely attracted to one another in some way and often pursues an exclusive relationship that is independent of others’ wise influence or godly counsel. Since the boundaries of the relationship are self-determined, the couple may easily succumb to temptation and fail to consider their responsibility to honor each other in purity and genuine love. A couple participating in courtship seeks the accountability of their parents or other mentors. As they establish guidelines for their relationship, they can more easily recognize that God also holds them responsible to honor one another. Receiving God’s grace and the support of others strengthens them to maintain their commitment to purity.

In a dating relationship, self-gratification is normally the basis of the relationship. Instead of focusing on God’s pleasure, the couple is often looking for personal pleasure. This oblivious self-centeredness can lead only to dissatisfaction, promoting an attitude of lust (taking what I want) rather than the Scriptural attitude of love (giving unselfishly to others). Consequently, dating opens the door to many temptations. If defrauding (stirring up desires that cannot be righteously satisfied) occurs, the couple can foolishly and tragically give away both emotional and physical affections that should have been reserved for a life partner. Thus, in a dating relationship, frequently intimacy precedes commitment. A courting couple can evade numerous temptations by the choice to be held accountable to God-given authorities. The dangers of defrauding can be avoided more successfully, and an honest, open friendship can be nurtured and protected. Thus, in courtship, commitment precedes intimacy.

Since one of the most important decisions we will make is the decision of marriage, we should make every effort to know and do God’s will in this area. A dating relationship is usually based only on what the dating couple presently knows about each other. In contrast, a Biblical courtship is based on what God knows about each partner and on His plans for their futures.

Jesus gave this instruction with a promise: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matt 6:33). When a person makes a growing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ the foundation of all decisions—as he or she seeks God’s kingdom—God will provide all that is needed, including the marriage partner prepared by God just for that person (PV 18:22, 19:14.)!

God bless the young (and not so young) believers who pray for the gift of marriage! God bless their parents, pastors, true friends and mentors as they help guide and encourage them! May God answer your prayers! May God help us all!

(In the picture: the wedding of Matthew and Jemine (our youngest daughter) in 2012. Both were born again and committed Christians before they met. They both decided to pass the test of godly dating and to be sexually pure before their wedding. They both submitted to wise godly counsel from their parents and pastors. They are now happily married and have two lovely children. I use them as a point of contact for other singles who pray to experience the blessings of godly dating and happy marriage. To God be all the glory!)