“Marriage should be honored by all…” (Heb 13:4)
The idea of being ‘a career woman’ is more common in the western world than in Nigeria where I live. But the advice is universal and we can all learn from it. I write this with a new found compassion for the older single women who made mistakes in their youth. Life is not easy. To be a woman especially is not easy… A ‘career woman’ is a woman whose main priority in life is achieving success in her career or profession. It may specifically refer to a higher interest in career than in marriage or having children. In other words, her job is her ‘husband’ and her office is her ‘child’. This term can thereby be used in contrast to what is called ‘a housewife’. Interestingly, there is no male equivalent. Have you ever heard of a “career man?” No!
The truth is that not all working and successful women CHOSE to be ‘career women’. They just ‘become too old to marry’ while working in their offices. There is a season for everything in life. They postpone marriage or having children until it is ‘too late’ for that. Time passes them by… Some delay motherhood for years because they feel they need to stay competitive in their businesses. Later they regret that decision. Some women believe that their dedication to their career, and the good that they are building through their work, is their ultimate legacy. Oprah Winfrey is the best example of that. Finally, some women have absolutely no interest in becoming mothers, their careers notwithstanding. Their identity is rooted in their business.
I am a medical doctor by profession. My husband and I ran a private hospital for about 20 years. I know the attraction of success, money made thru hard work and fame knocking at my door. I am a wife, a mother and a grad mother. I am now a pastor, in full time ministry. From the Word of God I find that the majority of women want to ‘settle’, to marry and have children. They want to have time to enjoy their home and the gift of motherhood. Most of the scriptures encourage the women to marry and have children. But because the women know marriage is hard work, it competes in their mind with the hours of work in the business. Many of them pursue a successful career or money instead of building a family. It is true: Marriage and motherhood is hard work and sacrificial ministry. The sacrifice is great but the reward is greater. I testify to that!
This is my advice to the women who come to my office battling between a life in the business world and another (simpler) life at home. This is not an easy choice. If you are working in the office, there are some advantages: you compete with others, to climb ‘the ladder of success’. You dress ‘corporately’ and you earn praises from men. This life style is very interesting, powerful, attractive and addictive. I know it. The other option is to choose to marry, have children and ‘manage a small’ business. Your husband who is now your ‘boss’ may appreciate your efforts or he may not. This choice is difficult. To be a happy wife you need to be loving, wise, spiritual and patient. But God will reward you at last…
But the worst thing is to live a life of regret. What I mean is this: you choose a career in business and you regret for sacrificing marriage. Or you choose to marry and cooking in the kitchen, you day dream about working in a Shell office or in a bank. Because I experienced both these life styles, I can give you a good, time-tested advice: a business career cannot satisfy your soul!!! The money you make cannot buy joy! The fame you gain cannot manufacture peace! Even your husband or your child cannot satisfy your deepest longings. Only Jesus Christ can do that!!! For me, this is what I believe: To be a happy wife and mother is more rewarding than any promotion in any office in any country. Dear sisters, women, wives and mothers, be encouraged today! Reject regrets! Trust God! May the Holy Spirit direct your path! May God help you to choose the right thing now! In Jesus name! Amen!