“Wives, be subject to your husbands [out of respect for their position as protector, and their accountability to God], as is proper and fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives [with an affectionate, sympathetic, selfless love that always seeks the best for them] and do not be embittered or resentful toward them [because of the responsibilities of marriage]” (Col 3:18, 19, AMP)
It is more than six weeks since I fell and broke my ankle. I have to stay on bed rest until the bone is healed. There are many lessons to learn from this situation. The devil pushed me and I fell. God permitted it for His glory and for my good. Something wonderful is coming out of this pain. God decreed that children should be born thru pain. In other words, pain precedes and announces life! That is so wonderful that pain does not have the last say in our lives! Resurrection life is stronger than all!
If the devil thought that this accident will divide my husband and me, how wrong he was! Just like grace blooms best in the desert, so our marriage became better in this time of testing. To God alone be all the glory! Thank God for the timing of this accident. It is very possible that if this happened some years ago, we could have failed to grow in love, wisdom and grace. When we got married, my husband made the choice to take care of me not only when I was strong, but also when I am weak. It was the same way with me. Marriage is a covenant relationship. First of all we need to be faithful to God. We also need to be faithful to our vows made to each other in the presence of God.
Serious sickness puts a heavy strain upon a marriage. It is true that the vow to remain loving and faithful is ‘in sickness and in health’. But very few newlyweds ponder about the words they are happily saying at the altar. There is a difference between saying: ‘I have a headache today and I cannot cook dinner’ and a serious sickness that incapacitates one for weeks, months or even years. Bad health is an excuse why many people divorce. I read that when the wife is seriously ill the risk of divorce was higher than when the husband is the sick spouse. The sick wife complains that the husband does not take care of her well enough. The husband becomes tired not only to provide money for the home, but to provide care and love for the sick, but ungrateful, wife. These are the sad observations I discovered from the internet.
What are the things I discovered during this time of trial in our marriage? You need to pay a price for success! Like with any exam, you need to prepare well to pass it. Every champion knows that he has to pay a price for that gold medal hanging on his neck. If you cheat your spouse, you only cheat yourself. When the trials of life come, you will stumble and your marriage will fail. You need to prepare for battle during the time of peace. Invest in maturing spiritually. Study the Word of God and pray to be the husband or the wife God wants you to be. Do it when things are easy. When trials come, you are not afraid of disappointment and you shall pass the test. This is wisdom!
As a wife I need to learn to submit to my husband. This submission is not easy and it is not natural. Your honey- moon love will not be strong enough to teach you submission. It is the work of the Holy Spirit in the heart of the born again believer. Submission is my choice. It manifests as respect for my husband’s God and for my husband’s authority given to him by God. Simply said, I need to respect my husband. To respect it means to value my husband highly. It means not to interfere with God’s plan for his life! It means to invest in his life! He is my treasure. He is not for sale. I cannot ignore his wishes. I cannot imagine my life without him. I see Christ in him. I hear Christ in his voice. God uses his words to speak to me. I need to respect that. I need to love him as I love myself. I do not worship husband but I do respect him as my ‘head’ and my spiritual ‘covering’. To disrespect my husband it means to walk naked in public. God forbid! Now that I am incapacitated he Is trying his best to take care of me. He cooks and brings food to me in the room. I cannot complain about his cooking. He is trying is best. I respect that. I cannot compare my stew with his stew. That is not the point. I am grateful for everything he brings to me for it is cooked with love and with care. I know that this arrangement is not forever. I know that soon I will be able to go back to my ‘kitchen ministry’. But until then, we both enjoy serving one another in this time of trial, for the sake of love that can never fail. To God alone be all the glory!
(This article was written in July 2016)