“You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down… Awaken, O north wind, and come, O south wind. Breathe on my garden, and spread the fragrance of its spices. Let my Beloved come into His garden and taste its choicest fruits” (SS 4:15, 16)

When I got married 45 years ago, I did not know the price, how much it will cost… I did not know what it takes to have a successful godly testimony type of marriage. Thank God that I did not know it, because I could have been discouraged. The price for a holy testimony of spiritual maturity, reflected in ministry and marriage, is very high. According to God’s word, I had to die to self so that Christ can live in me and shine thru me! God used His holy hammer on my heart! Before I understood the ‘surgery’ I cried because of pain. Later, I relaxed and even rejoiced…

My heart was broken in many pieces so that God can rearrange them, for His glory and for my own good. Before that peculiar work of the Holy Spirit my heart was stony, opaque and closed. The Holy Spirit opened my heart, made it tender and ‘musical’. It is hard to explain… Thank God for tongues… Now, my heart sings the Lord’s song and hates all others tunes. My heart is not foolish and is not silent. I use to be shy, but not anymore. I speak as I am spoken to. The Holy Spirit whispers to my spirit, a word of love, and tells me to shout it out! I dare to obey God! The Word of God is enough for me. I hear it and I speak it out. It never fails to move me (first) and my listeners (second).

Like the hands of my Lord, my heart is now punctured… it has ‘scars-holes’ in it so that the water in my belly can easily flow out, and water others. The Divine Gardner, my Lord Jesus Christ, uses me daily to water His garden. I never knew how much my Lord loves flowers, plants, bees and butterflies until He held me, bent me and poured me out to them. He is a God of beauty, colors and order. That is why I cannot afford to be proud and ‘block’ my holes. I am used to be vulnerable. Used by my Lord, I lost my fears to look foolish. I love it when the people I talk to take me for granted. It means that I do not hinder God’s work. And that is all that matters. That is when The Holy Spirit does His work in them. What a privilege! What a joy to be used by the One who holds my life in His hands… Used by God I totally lost my fear of untimely useless death. For as long as the flowers bloom on earth, His water in my bucket will keep flowing. Glory!

(The picture below was taken by my husband. I was celebrating 65 years. I am dressed with beautiful Nigerian clothes made and given to me by one of our daughters in Christ. I hope that my thanksgiving mood is reflected on my face. “Thank You, Lord Jesus, for everything!”)

SLL 90

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