“Then He (Jesus) spoke a parable to them that men always ought to pray and not lose heart… Shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily.  Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?” (Lk 18:1-8)

This is one of the parables of Jesus. He says there was a poor woman, a widow, who had a big enemy she could not fight by herself. In the Bible, symbolically, a woman stands for the church. A widow means a believer in Christ who has no human helper and is facing strong opposition. This woman knows that she has no strength and no resources to fight her strong enemy.  But she wants vindication and victory. The only man who can help her is a judge in that town. But this judge is very harsh. He does not fear God and he cares nothing about anybody. But he is her only hope for a breakthrough. This woman is not intimidated by the difficulty of her position. She decides to go to see the judge and to plead with him as often as she can. For fear that he will get ‘weary by her continual coming’, the judge finally grants her plea. What is the lesson for us?

Jesus said that we should learn from this woman and pray to God until there is an answer. God always answers His children. His answers can be: Yes, No or Wait. If the answer is yes, then your miracle will manifest immediately. If the answer is no, you will lose ‘the push’ to pray. But if the answer is ‘wait’, then you are to pray until the answer changes into a ‘yes’. Jesus says that ‘the elect cry to God day and night’. The sign that you are a child of God is that you pray until God answers. If you get tired of waiting and praying, it may be that you are not a true believer or that you are backsliding.

Why do believers stop praying? The danger is to become over-involved with the cares of this world. Being too anxious about your ordinary natural life (about your marriage, children, job, school, money…) will quench the spirit of prayer. Knowing that God alone can truly help, you have no excuse to stop praying before God answers you. The prophet Samuel said that to stop praying or to stop teaching others the Word of God is sin. “Moreover as for me, God forbid that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you: but I will teach you the good and the right way” (1Sam 12:23).

Jesus connects prayer and faith (verse 1 and 8). When you pray for a particular blessing, as you pray, your faith will increase. Then you use your higher faith to pray even more. Both faith and prayer shall become stronger, helping one another. But if you stop praying, your faith will become weak and you shall faint spiritually.  The lesson: continue to pray and ask God for your heart’s desire!  You know that you pray well when you sense your faith increases. That is the time when God answers! Christianity is not easy. You must read the Bible and you must put into practice the Word you have read. This is the way to spiritual maturity. May God open your spiritual eyes, open your spiritual ears and touch your heart to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit! Go back to the prayer room! God is waiting for you! Glory to God!

This is the Word of God:

“Rejoice evermore.

Pray without ceasing.

In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

Quench not the Spirit.

Despise not prophesyings!

Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.

Abstain from all appearance of evil.

And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Faithful is He that calls you, who also will do it” (1Thess 16-24)

“If I stand or I should fall
You know me well, You see it all,
My darkest nights, my deepest fears
I cry to You and You will hear

HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT

“Joseph—who was sold as a slave…

They hurt his feet with fetters,

He was laid in irons.

Until the time that his word came to pass,

The word of the Lord tested him” (Ps 105:17-19)

The Saturday night prayer meeting was very good. The Holy Spirit helped us to do warfare in preparation for worship. In the name of Jesus we totally rejected all evil spirits that hindered our worship of God. We had to make a choice: do we seek God tonight or not! In the unity of the Spirit we chose to seek God, His presence and His Word! Therefore we rejected every contrary spirit of religion, double mindedness, doubt, control, lust, fear of the future, bareness, poison, depression… In the Name of Jesus! At the name of Jesus Christ every knee must bow! At last, we welcomed the Holy Spirit with thanksgiving in our hearts and lips. We sang a new song of love to the Lover of our souls. The atmosphere changed and gently, we were ushered into the Most Holy Place. Glory!

Prophetically, we are in a season called ‘Shalom’. In Hebrew, this word means peace, health and wealth, friends and favor with God and man. In 2018 we shall experience all these spiritual blessings in a higher level! To the glory to God! The Word was taken from Isaiah 55: 8-12 and Psalm 105:16-19. God’s Word is not like an ordinary word. It is not just a sound or a letter. It is eternal life and it comes with overwhelming power to change hearts and circumstances! The rain and the snow water the earth and produce vegetation. In the same way, the Word of God read or preached under the anointing of the Holy Spirit produces spiritual ‘vegetation’, better said ‘fruitful eternal life’ in our spirits. You cannot hear the Word of God and remain the same! You must change! And change radically!

We began to study the life of Joseph. He was the favorite of his father. When Joseph was just 17 years old Jacob made a beautiful coat of many colors and gave it to him. This coat is a prophetic sign. It tells everybody that Joseph is the ‘heir to the throne’, the future leader and the savior of the family. It is a royal coat telling people that Joseph is a prince and he will not do manual labor. He will sit on ‘the throne’ and others will work for him.  As Joseph started dressing with that beautiful royal coat. God gave Joseph two dreams. In them, Joseph is seen as the head of the family and all others will bow to him. By these dreams, God confirms Jacob’s choice of leadership among his sons. These dreams look childish. The name of God does not appear in Genesis 37. But God speaks to the family and to the nation thru these ‘secular’ dreams. Therefore the dreams are the Word of God. His brothers are very jealous and want to kill Joseph. They hate him because of his coat (leadership, promotion), because their father loves him more than them (God’s sovereign choice), because of his words and his dreams (the Word of God). By hating Joseph, they hate the Word of God. By killing Joseph they want to kill the Word of God (who is Jesus Christ, our Lord). But nobody can kill the Word of God! Even if you kill it, the Word of God shall resurrect! And judge the sinners! The two dreams will be fulfilled later. In between the receiving of the dreams and the fulfillment of the dreams, Joseph must pass thru painful trials of rejection, manual labor, slavery and prison. But nothing can stop the Word of God from manifesting. At last, the Word of God spoken by him proved him to be true and not a liar!

Application: think of your life! Remember when God spoke to you thru the Bible, thru the Holy Spirit or thru prophetic utterances. Since then you have not seen any manifestation of that Word you have received. But be encouraged! God who gave you the Word many years ago, watches over that same Word to perform it! Your prison of circumstances, your trial and pains are only temporary. Like the rain comes down from heaven and produces vegetation on earth, so that Word shall be fulfilled in your life! It cannot go back to God ‘void of power’ but it shall perform the pleasure of God in your life! God is faithful! God’s Word can never fail! For example…Were you happy on your wedding day? You and your spouse now quarrel and have misunderstandings? They shall pass away! Your marriage will be happy at last! When your baby was born, did you rejoice or did you weep? If you rejoiced, then no matter the sickness and troubles that may come your child’s way, your child will be a blessing to you at last! Did God say that you are healed! Then the sickness cannot talk where God talks! Has God said that you shall buy a land and build a house? Even if all the cement sellers in Nigeria go on strike, you shall be a landlord (landlady). This is the Word of God! It can never fail! Give praise to God for He alone will do it!

HAPPY WITH CHURCH TONIGHT

The Women’s Fellowship was very good. Today was our first meeting this year. We had a full house. We shared testimonies of God’s goodness and power. We praised God with songs and dancing. We prayed and prophesied over our lives, marriages, children, businesses and ministries. We did warfare: we rejected the evil spirits of empty religion, depression, barrenness, fear, doubt, poverty, sickness and sorrow! We prayed two by two, one for another. We prophesied that the single sisters above 30 shall marry this year. We prophesied that the married women who pray for the fruit of the womb shall be pregnant and have children! In Christ we declared that God has opened a new door for us in 2018. It is a good and great, surprisingly sweet new platform for ministry and family blessings. No devil and no man can shut it. Our testimonies will increase! Our joy shall be full! In Jesus name, amen! Then the sermon came. It was about the joy of an ideal godly marriage. It was inspired from the Song of songs. Our marriages must be better! There is always room for improvement! Amen!

THE WINE, FIRE AND ECHO OF THE SONG OF SONGS

“The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s” (SS1:1)

The Song of Songs is the most romantic Book in the Bible. Most Christians ignore this book because they either do not understand it or they feel uncomfortable reading it. The Song of Songs is a poem written by King Solomon, the son of King David. He describes how he deeply fell in love with a simple shepherd girl, even when he already had hundreds of wives and concubines in his harem. Symbolically, the poem describes the love between Christ and the Church. The same poem perfectly describes the ideal love found in a godly marriage, when both husband and wife are mature believers in Christ. This holy love in marriage has four attributes: Passion, Self-control, mutuality and eternal life.

*LOVE IN MARRIAGE IS PASSIONATE

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—

For your love is better than wine

Because of the fragrance of your good ointments,

Your name is ointment poured forth;

Therefore the virgins love you.

Draw me away! … The king has brought me into his chambers…” (SS 1:2- 4)

Passion is described as a strong and barely controllable emotion. Love in marriage must be romantic, exciting, full of interesting gifts and sweet surprises. Like wine, it must be intoxicating to the heart and to the brain. Its source is the sacrificial passionate love of Jesus, who died to save His sinful Lovers. This love is jealous and very protective. It fights to death the enemies of love. In this Song, the passionate love in marriage is described in many ways: kisses on the mouth, fragrant ointment poured forth, getting drunk with wine, getting sick with love, going out in the night searching for the offended lover to make peace with him and many beautiful intimate praises poured out between husband and wife. This passionate love involves their bodies, souls and spirits. There is no shame in this love. Their love is a reflection of the original purity designed by God for marriage when:  “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Gen 2:24, 25). The fire of love burns all guilt, all shame and all inferiority complexes. They feel happy and safe to love each other. They are generous with the best they have. There is no fear of betrayal, deception or divorce. Their sexual life is passionate but limited to marriage. There is no wasting drainage to adulterous affairs. The ‘strange woman’ must be disappointed. If your love is holy and passionate then ‘your fountains will not be dispersed abroad and your streams of water will not flow on strange dark streets’ (PV 5: 16). Love’s passion is an anointed overflow able to destroy all the evil plans and opposition of marriage. Lukewarm love is dangerous. It is on its way to defeat. Keep the fires of holy love burning! Quench not the Spirit of love! Let the fire burn, day and night! Be drunk and be filled with the Holy Spirit!

*LOVE IN MARRIAGE IS CONTROLLED

“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,

By the gazelles or by the does of the field,

Do not stir up nor awaken love

Until it pleases” (SS 2:7; 3:5 and 8:4)

The beauty of true Christian love is that it combines great passion with great self-restrain. Only the Holy Spirit can produce this unique combination. Flesh is a coward. It always looks for escape in one way or the other. Flesh loves until it destroys itself. It quenches the very life of passionate intimacy. Fleshly love oscillates in between erotic lust and frigid vows. But the love of Christ is both hot and controlled in the same time. Two of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, the first and the last, are ‘love and… self-control’ (Gal 5: 22, 23). Mature love is spiritual and balanced. That is why it does not break and it lasts forever.  The Bride tells ‘the daughters of Jerusalem’, her friends, to be patient with the manifestation and harvest of love. Lust boils immediately and burns the kettle. But ‘love is patient’ with itself (1Cor 13:4). The passion of love in marriage must increase gradually. Love is wise. Love knows when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’. Like driving a car, love has one speed pedal and two breaks. There is a time to love more and times when you love less, so that you can rest your soul (Ecc 3:8). Going on the high hills and the deep valleys of life, even when stumbling, it must go on, for ‘love never fails’ (1 Cor 13:8).  Love in a godly marriage is ‘A garden enclosed… A spring shut up… A fountain sealed’ (SS 4:12). This love has a secret address and a codded password. It is separated from the eyes of strangers. The fence of holy fire around the marriage bed keeps its passion safe. Marriage is a mystery protected by God Himself (Eph 5:32; Mal 3:5).

*LOVE IN MARRIAGE IS MUTUAL

‘My beloved is mine, and I am his…’ (SS 2:16; 6:3; 7:10)

In a true godly marriage the husband and wife are free to be themselves, free to talk and free to manifest their love to each other. Love is a two way street. Love is a duet. Love is like tango dance! Love is a mutual feeling experienced by both of them. In this poem you see that both the Lover and the Beloved initiate speeches and actions. The leadership of the husband and the submission of the wife were curses placed after the fall, to restrain sinful behavior in marriage. But in this poem we see that agape love equals both players and brings them together unto ‘the hill of incense’ to dance for joy. In a golly marriage there is no violence, wickedness, manipulation or oppression. There is love, trust, purity and peace. Both husband and wife are free in each other’s arms. They give themselves one to the other in a happy and safe surrender. Each one teaches the other how to live, love and laugh. They weep together and they rejoice together. No one is left behind. No one is lonely. The blanket of Love is wide enough to cover both of them. True love is hated by many. In the forests of this world you will encounter many ‘little foxes that try to spoil the tender shoots of springtime love’ (SS 2:15).  Both husband and wife are ready to fight the enemies of marriage. They are both jealous over their love and they protect it unto death. ‘Love always protects’ (1 Cor 13:7).  Spiritual warfare done in the name of Jesus, in the unity of the Spirit, in a godly marriage is always successful. The devil has no chance here! The monster of adultery dies immediately when marriage covenant partners hold hands in prayer and worship their God.

*LOVE IN MARRIAGE IS FOREVER

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm;

For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave;

Its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame.

Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it.

If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house,

It would be utterly despised” (SS 8: 6, 7)

The marriage covenant is done in the presence of God, among witnesses in heaven and on earth. It lasts a life time. After death, the surviving spouse is free to live single or remarry. But the love they had for one another endures beyond the barrier of death. The fruits and effect of their holy love will survive the destruction of their bodies. Their children and friends have been touched by their true passion. Their love will continue to sing its song in the hearts of many, forever!  This love cannot be destroyed, quenched or sold for money. It is a proof that Jesus Christ is the Husband of the Church. It is a sign post directing seekers to the sacrifice on the Cross done by our Savior, King and Lover! The color of true love is red for the Lover’s Blood payed its way to the heart of His Beloved. ‘God is Love” (1 Jn 4:16). God always ‘keeps the best for the last’ (Jn 2:10). May your love be fruitful and free!

This is the testimony of agape Love found in Christ alone!  May we worship the God who loved us first! May true agape love be found in our hearts! May the Song of Songs echo in our marriages, now and forever! In Jesus name, amen!

“For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant,

And as a root out of dry ground…

He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days,

And the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hand.

He shall see the labor of His soul, and be satisfied” (Is 53)

What does it mean that our Savior was a tender plant growing in a dry ground? How Jesus did survive so much opposition? Why did He not die before His hour came? What is the secret of His holy eternal success?

When Jesus was born everything was against Him. Herod the Great hated Him. He killed all the boys but Jesus escaped. Mary and Joseph were poor people. There was no other place for Mary to have her baby except the stable where animals stayed. There is no doubt that during her labor Mary experienced feelings of rejection and loneliness. No woman, however poor she is, wants to deliver her baby in a stable. I believe that it was also cold and she had to endure the unpleasant smell of animals. The pictures of Christmas may look romantic but the reality is different. Then they became fugitives in Egypt. Eventually, they come back and settle in Nazareth. Nathaniel said about that village: “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” The childhood of Jesus was in a place where nobody saw any good thing coming from it. Jesus did not go to a regular school He learned the trade of carpentry from his father, Joseph. It is true that He was from the royal lineage of David. That could have been something good, but Israel did not have a royal dynasty anymore. It was the Romans that now chose their kings who had nothing to do with David. When Jesus entered ministry, the disciples that followed Him were poor un-educated people. The religious leaders hated Him and rejected His teachings. The religious leaders arrested Him and brought Him before their tribunal. Jesus did not have any lawyer. He did not even defend Himself. He did not write any book. He was a king but He did not have any army. He was eventually killed on the Cross. Humanity killed their Maker on Mount Calvary. He was buried in a rich man’s borrowed tomb. The Roman soldiers guarded the burial place. That should have been the end of the story… But Jesus rose from the dead and He lives forever!

All these factors against Him describe to us the ‘dry ground’ of the life of Jesus. There was nothing in His environment that helped Jesus survive or succeed. There was no place where He could lay His head… There was no man who can take the credit of saving His life.  How then did this Jesus survive all the hatred and negativity against Him? Not only survive, but how did He succeed to become the most famous Man all over the world?  Why is His name on our lips, more than 2000 years later? Why so many people call Him their Savior? Why do so many people worship Him, in every city, every country? What is the secret of His Holy success? The answer is that He is God! He is Jehovah, I AM, the self-sufficient God, who does not need anything man has to offer to live eternally. If you are a child of God, think about your Father…

This evening I say: If you are ‘trapped’ in an unloving marriage and your spouse does not encourage you at all… if you are a missionary and, with all your labor of love you see no visible fruits… If you live in an area where churches are all lukewarm, you desire to mature spiritually but there is no mentor, no Spirit filled pastor…If you are alone and afraid or even hopeless, then go to Jesus Christ, the hope of Glory! Go to Jehovah, the self-sufficient God who does need His creation to live eternally! Go to the Holy Spirit who will give you the strength to live and succeed even if the whole world is against you! For no ground is as dry as the one that held the roots of the tender plant called Jesus Christ! Allow the Holy Spirit to enlarge your vision to see how that Lonely Seed planted in that dry ground, against all the odds and plans of the devil, became the King of the Kingdom of God! If you are born again then you are part of the lonely painful travail that has satisfied the Son of God! This is the work of God! If God has started a work in you, nobody can quench it! No circumstance, no enemy, no devil can destroy the work of God! Once the zeal of God is involved in a work, nothing can destroy it!

This is our testimony! This is the very faith that propelled my husband and I to have the boldness to start a church in Warri, Nigeria. The ground is dry but the seed is Holy! The faith in Jesus Christ proved to be enough for us! Let us be encouraged to trust God when all things go against us. Like Jesus, we do not need anything to survive and succeed, only God! Jesus is enough for me! I am satisfied!

In Christ I declare:

Even if the spiritual atmosphere in Warri- Effurun, Nigeria is as dry as a ‘bonga fish’, the Kingdom of God shall be established here! Many souls shall be saved! Father’s House Bible Church is blessed! All to the glory to God! In Jesus name, Amen!

A question is a sentence used to find out information from another. In an exam, a question is a problem that tests a person’s knowledge or ability: A question produces doubt about the truth of something, creating confusion in the minds. The devil was the one who asked the first question in the Bible. “Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” (Gen 3:1). According to the definition of the word ‘question’ these are the motives in the devil’s mind when he talked to Eve: he wanted that she should open her heart to him. The devil wanted that Eve should give him more information about her relationship with God, about her marriage and her life in general. As you can see, a question provokes an answer. This is an invitation to intimacy, a manipulation to close friendship, stolen love…

This is a spiritual lesson: When the devil is asking you a question, you should totally refuse to answer him. You rebuke him instantly! Do not cooperate with him! For that, you need to know the difference between the voice of God and that of the devil!!! You should not give the devil any information about your life, not even jokingly! Secondly, when the devil is asking you a question he wants to test your knowledge about God and His Word. If you fail the test, the devil will be more confident to attack you further. For example, when Eve replied that God said they should not eat or touch the forbidden fruit, the devil immediately attacked her again, tempting her to disobey God’s command. This is because Eve misquoted God’s command. God did not say that if they touch the fruit they will die. Eve failed the test of the devil’s question. As a teacher, the devil ‘punished’ his student called Eve. All Eve’s daughters are still paying the price for their mother’s foolishness.

The devil’s question was designed to create doubt and confusion about God’s character and love towards men. This doubt is a poisonous arrow creating anxiety and inferiority complex. Eve started thinking that she is too foolish and she needs more wisdom so that next time she can impress ‘Teacher-devil’ with her intelligent answers. She forgot that God created her perfect and she needed nothing more than an intimate relationship with her Maker. Looking for that wisdom, she eats the forbidden fruit and convinces her husband to do the same. Sin and death entered their spirits and bodies that very moment. This is the story of the fall. The deadly effects of sin can only be destroyed at the Cross of Christ.

Since Eve’s deception, women in particular have struggled with (many) questions and (fewer) answers ever since. Many are still confused about who to ask and when to ask questions. They still struggle with doubts and confusion more than the men. They still have inferiority complexes about their intelligence and wisdom. They still want to impress men with their education and intelligence. That attitude makes them look childish. In the Bible there is a restrain upon women, not to ask questions in public. This is so that they will not reinforce their inferiority complexes and expose their foolishness to outsiders. “If they (the wives) have any questions, they should ask their husbands at home, for it is improper for women to speak in church meetings” (1Cor 14:35). For married couples, asking questions and giving answers is to be done at home, in a quiet, safe and loving atmosphere. The Holy Spirit is your Teacher.

MY TESTIMONY AS A WIFE

May years ago, based on my understanding of the Word of God, I decided that I will never ask my husband any question in public. I can talk to him in public on any subject. He can ask me any question he likes. I will answer him to the best of my knowledge. But my strategy is not to ask him back anything! (Of course, if it is matter of life and death, I will break my rule). Generally, when we are in public, I am very careful with my words, with the tone of my voice and with my body language. I made up my mind not to talk to him as I am his boss or judge. I will not query him. He is not my child. Even if what he says sounds terrible to me and I ‘die’ for an explanation, I will wait for us to go home. I learned how to wait… Inside, I can ask all the questions I want. We are safe from the world. I do not want to be seen to be his teacher, his older sister, his mother or his pastor. My voice does not go higher in tone, does not become harsh, demanding or threatening. My body language speaks of love and submission too. I do not stand ‘tall’ ‘towering’ over him, intimidating him or bullying him, not even jokingly. I know that many women ‘joke’ with their husbands’ feelings. This is their excuse to fight back. It does not work with me. My husband does not approve of jokes that make us look foolish, divisive or rude. I too have learned to behave well, to protect the ‘image’ of our marriage, not to give the devil any foot hold to use something against us. I am very protective of his reputation and honor. I trust him with my life and he trusts me with his. This trust has not come easily. Many tears of regret and repentance have flown under the bridge of God’s mercy. But we are so much better now… Dear reader, there is hope for you too. Our testimony as a happy married couple is one of our greatest accomplishments on earth. It has become a ministry for the encouragement of many people. To God alone be all the glory!

“Awake, O north wind,
And come, O south!
Blow upon my garden,
That its spices may flow out.
Let my beloved come to his garden
And eat its pleasant fruits” (SS 4:16)

“There are times when I feel despairing,
when all around seems dark
and my cry for help is unheard…

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (Jn 1:5)

Yesterday, during the Sunday service, as I went up to minister on the altar, the power went off. (Later we were told that our big generator ‘caught gas’). For about 15 minutes the church was in total darkness. The microphones, and the musical instruments (with the exception of the drum and the saxophone) went silent. Some people in the congregation put on the lights on their phones. Our church has no windows, so when it is dark, it is really dark. Without the microphone, my voice could have been ‘lost’ in the big auditorium. I had the option to go back to my seat and miss my ministry ‘slot’. But long ago, I made up my mind not to bow to contrary spirits or negative circumstances. I am a soldier for Christ. I have to fight to the end and if I have to die, I must die standing! I chose to worship God no matter what.

The first picture is taken on this day in 2012. By the grace of God we just started the building of our church. I liked this brother’s T-shirt, so I took the picture. God who started the foundation will complete it! The second picture shows our sanctuary as it is now. We did not take any bank loan to build the house of God. We did not beg for money. The brethren in the church supplied the labor and all the resources. God alone takes all the glory!

The farmer plants in the season of planting. After waiting patiently he will rejoice at the harvest. This is the harvest season for us! Therefore we rejoice! Praise the Lord!

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil 1:6)

Heavenly Spirit, gentle Spirit,
O descend on us, we pray;
Come, console us and control us,
Christ, most fair, to us portray.

“King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought in before him, but she did not come” (Est 1:17)

Please read the Book of Esther, chapter one. King Xerxes is married to Queen Vashti whose name means ‘Beautiful’. The king throws a great banquet to entertain and impress his military leaders, princes and nobles. He later invites all the citizens of Susa to come and enjoy the king’s feast. There is no limit to drinking wine and eating the royal special food. The reason for this party was to give glory to himself. Like Nebuchadnezzar, King Xerxes was a proud foolish man! He loves to drink alcohol. He was also a hot tempered man. Suddenly, becoming tired of the entertainment provided, the drunken king orders his Queen to come to him, dressed in her royal robes. He wanted to boast, before all his guests, of his wife’s beauty. Hating to be embarrassed in front of many drunken men, the Queen refuses to obey his orders. What? Imagine that! The great king is publicly rejected by a woman!!! Suddenly the happy party turns into a mourning gathering. The king is angry mostly because he is embarrassed by his wife’s public rejection. Both husband and wife are angry and embarrassed at each other’s actions. Who will win in this foolish emotional manipulation game? Of course the devil who takes pleasure in division, quarrels and divorce!

King Xerxes asks his wise men what to do. They advise him to divorce and disgrace Vashti. In verse 19 she is no longer called Queen Vashti. She is simply called by her name, like any ordinary woman. The poor queen has no credit of grace with anyone. Vashti is sent away from the palace! She loses her marriage, her reputation and her throne! The wise men advise the king to write a new law saying that each man should be ‘the ruler of his household’! It will be on record that all the wives should submit to their husbands. This is a foolish decree for no law can force the wives to submit or the men to love them. Submission and love are spiritual things of the heart!

What are the lessons for us? The first thing I see is that without Christ, fame and riches are useless. Without Christ, there is no peace, no wisdom and no joy! Without Christ, even the best marriages scatter. Without Christ the partying, the happiness of the world will suddenly turn to disgrace and depression. The law cannot change the hearts of men. Only the grace of God found in Christ alone can change hearts and circumstances. Anger, lust, foolishness, pride, rebellion, drinking alcohol, having worldly friends… these are all drops of poison able to kill any relationship.

As a married woman, I am sorry for Queen Vashti. In this story she had to go away. She vacated her throne for Queen Esther who is an ambassador for Christ. In this world, nothing is permanent. Only God never changes! ‘Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever’ (Heb 13:8). If you marry an unbeliever, you will suffer. Money and fame cannot help a broken heart. Only God can do it!  Another lesson is this: once you are married to ‘a famous’ man, or you hold a position of authority, if you like it or not, you become a role model. Others will imitate you, for better or for worst! Visibility requires responsibility! Remember that!

MY TESTIMONY

My husband and I are married for almost 44 years. Both of us work full time to make our marriage happy and strong. It is a sacrifice made because of love. We are not ignorant of the attacks of the devil which is able, if given the chance, to destroy any marriage. This is the wisdom I have learned from the Book of Esther chapter one: Each time my husband calls me I will answer and immediately come to him! I promised myself that I will not be like Queen Vashti! This is my pledge to God and to my conscience: If my husband needs me, if he calls me, I will answer! It can be morning, afternoon, evening or night time. I may know or I may not know the reason for his call. I have made a covenant with my feet not to be tired to walk up and down the stairs when my husband calls me. I cannot even imagine ignoring his call. I take it as serious as the call of God. For me, rejecting my husband’s call is a luxury I cannot afford. I want our marriage to continue. If I was Queen Vashti, knowing that I will be embarrassed in a room full of drunken men, I could have still come to see my husband. I will pray in tongues in my heart that before entering that room, my husband (even if he is drunk) will pity me and let me to go back to my room. I believe that God can change the heart of any king! And even if I have to stand there embarrassed, I will ask the Holy Spirit to strengthen me among those foolish drunkards. In difficult times I pray to be able to use my pain for the glory of God! The shame I will experience will bring me closer to Jesus who also suffered shame on the Cross, dying for me. But no matter how, if my husband calls me, if he needs me, I will come at once! So help me, God! Dear Queen Vashti, I am sorry, but you cannot be my friend! I am with Queen Esther, who is my sister and mentor!

Now I have to go for my husband is calling me… “Come with Me from Lebanon, My bride, come with Me … My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me…. (SS 4:8; Jn 10:27)

My husband and I are married for almost 44 years. From the wisdom of the Word of God and from my personal testimony, I share these notes with you. Read them, meditate on them. Come back with a fresh testimony of higher grace!

“An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars” (PV 18:19). If your true friend betrays you, the friendship is mortally wounded. Love becomes like a beggar, a fugitive on the streets of unfulfilled dreams. The broken heart will look for the home where it grew up but now, the gate is closed, the password forgotten. The split, the divorce will grow to become a monster, bold and loud, rude and wicked, too hard for mercy to conquer. A once close friend, when injured or deceived, becomes a potent and irreconcilable enemy. These are some sayings from wise men of old:  ‘bitter are the quarrels of friends; those who love beyond measure will also hate beyond measure; deep friendship once injured is forever lost’.  Jesus said that it is better to cut off hand or foot and even pluck your eye than to offend, to injure or to betray ‘a little’ child of God (Mt 18:6-9). God always defends His wounded child!

Do not take your marriage for granted. Be very careful to avoid quarrels which cause division. Be sensitive when you sense that ‘the devil is in the room and the quarrel is coming’. The Holy Spirit will prepare your heart to sense that you need to keep quiet and to stand still. Communication is like playing table tennis. Each partner feels like responding to the words of the other. Be careful: if the tone of your voice becomes too high, the tendency to argue increases.  Show self-restrain. Both love and self-control are fruits of the Holy Spirit. Talking is like driving a car. It is exciting to drive it full speed. It is ‘fun’ to defend your opinions. But look at the Holy Ghost ‘traffic signs’. Keep below ‘the speed limit’. Learn to use your spiritual ‘breaks’. From time to time check if the ‘breaking pads’ of patience are still functioning well and ‘the oil of wisdom’ still intact. Quarrels between close friends, between husband and wife can quickly end in disaster. You can wreck your relationship and it may not be possible to repair it on earth. Behave and speak in such a way that tomorrow, you do not need to apologize for your actions and your words of today. Live like there is a tomorrow!

MY TESTIMONY

My husband and I have learned to show self-restrain in times of crisis. It is only thru the power of the Holy Ghost!

For me, apology is a friend and an enemy in the same time. For example, if my husband tells me that he is grieved by my actions or words, I apologize immediately. If I am not aware that he is wounded that is different.  But if he tells me that I grieved him, the apology must come instantly from my heart. This is not the time to analyze my behavior. I know that he loves me. He prays for me. If he says I was wrong, then I am wrong. Period! Pain for me is a wonderful teacher. I do not waste it. I learn from everything, even from my ignorant mistakes. I apologize and promise to change. And I keep my word. I pray and trust God to change. I do not foolishly repeat the same mistake again and again taking for granted that the Holy Spirit will help us ‘to settle’. I always remember that love is a very delicate thing. A sudden electrical surge of one second can destroy a very expensive computer. Even so, a ‘little’ quarrel can damage trust and quench the spirit of love.  So, I am very careful not to grieve the Holy Spirit! In Christ I declare that Jesus Christ is my first Lover! My husband is my second lover! Then follow the children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters and friends! I thank God for them all! This is my story! This is my song!

Child of God, when things are hard, when tears freely flow and nothing is able to stop them, when you make mistakes, when you are misunderstood, when friends fail and family withdraws… then remember that God is always faithful! “Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever!” (Heb 13: 8). He was betrayed by sinners but He loved us to the end. Crawl into His loving arms and find peace. You may not have all the answers. You do not need to have all the deep revelations of conflict because God knows them all. He knows your heart. He knows that you love Him. He knows your weakness and your strength. He knows each word even before it comes on your tongue. He loves you with an everlasting love. You are secure in knowing Jesus, your Savior, King and Best Friend. He died for you. He forgives you. He is still with you inside your heart. No matter what, you can always rejoice! Love is not easy. But love is still the best gift of God. Be jealous over your heart! Cherish it! Finally, in all thinks give thanks!